Very odd Dm's. 5e help

       Recetly was banned from 2 games just before the games started. both dm's had a requirment of phb only for everything. and both lost their crap when i made a background. help me understand this. Page 125 of the PHB: "Every story has a beginning. Your character's background reveals where you came from, how you became an adventurer, and your place in the world. Your fighter might have been a courageous knight or a grizzled soldier. Your wizard could have been a sage or an artisan. Your rogue might have gotten by as a guild thief or commanded audiences as a jester. Choosing a background provides you with important story cues about your character's identity. The most important question to ask about your background is what changed? Why did you stop doing whatever your background describes and start adventuring? Where did you get the money to purchase your starting gear, or, if you come from a wealthy background, why don't you have more money? How did you learn the skills of your class? What sets you apart from ordinary people who share your background? The sample backgrounds in this chapter provide both concrete benefits (features, proficiencies, and languages) and roleplaying suggestions."        Here was the background i made for the character. Acolyte of the Drake: Skill Proficiencies: Perception, Survival  Languages: Draconic Tool Proficiency: One of your choice Equipment:  A set of artisan's tools (one of your choice), a trinket gifted you of your draconic guardian, a set of common clothes, and a belt pouch containing 10 gp Mark of the Dragon: You have spent your years in the service of your dragon. you decide if this was a  negative or positive relationship. being part of the dragon's community and hoard has left it's mark on you. For better or for worse, people, creatures, and especially dragons and magical beings; can detect the mark of your dragon upon you.                 So, here are my questions to all of you dungeon masters: 1. Do you choose to omit the background rules and restrict players to sample backgrounds only? 2. Have you read the PHB and knew of this rule? Or, is this rule news to you?

Most Dm's don't actually read the PHB. They just want to play DND and kinda take the samples as doctrine. I know I didn't read the PHB really until I had a player do what you have done. I wasn't rude I was more curious where in the heck he got the background from. After reading the rule, I am much less of a stickler on backgrounds. I just ask my players to use a sample as a template. And then I go over it with them to determine if any changes are needed. I would say most DM's are clueless about this rule. 

The way to do it is to ask the DM: "hey, would you allow me to use the 'customizing a background' rule on page 125?' I know some DMs limit the options to the samples, but if it is an option, I'd like to utilize this choice." Though I'm not clear you stuck to that rule in your custom background ('replace one feature with another one', does it mean another one from the samples? Is 'Mark of the Dragon' from a sample?). As Hobby Hobbit says, most DMs don't read the PHB, just what we need, when we need it. I ran 5E for years, and I never noticed the customization bit. I doubt I would have freaked out about it if you wanted a custom background though, unless you were insistent, or seemed rude about it (ex: "But it says right here! I can customize it! Didn't you read the book?!"). I don't know about other DMs, but I rely on players to help me with the rules, and it's a cooperative effort to play the game by the book (or off-book, but only when intended). For me, it's all about attitude though. If the players are helpful about rules corrections, I'm grateful, and give hero points or inspiration, or just say "thanks." If they're rude about it ("no, look on page 47, dumbass!"), I've got to drop them.

I'm not sure this is the right subforum for this? Still, to address the questions... I'm happy for players to submit custom backgrounds, but I'd also require players to run them past me first. That's doubly true if the feature is custom, or if the background is very similar to an existing one. Yours seems reasonable mechanically, but if I was your DM, I'd wonder what was wrong with the standard Acolyte? No need to justify it to me, because I'm not  your DM, but it's something to keep in mind. As for the customization rule, I read it a long time ago when I was first getting familiar with 5e, and I've remained aware of it since, though I've never had a player try to customize a background without asking me. Technically that would be in keeping with the rules, but I would regard it as bad form. Note, however, that that isn't  your situation. Since the Mark of the Dragon feature isn't in the PhB, your background is actually homebrew, and not made according to the PhB rules for customizing backgrounds. Those rules very explicitly require you to either use a feature from one of the samples or work with your DM to make your own. I don't think there's anything wrong with the feature you've written, but I've been playing 5e since it came out, and I'm very comfortable using and evaluating homebrew as it applies to my own games. A DM who's already said to only use PhB materials is clearly uncomfortable with or uninterested in evaluating outside material. Showing up to such a game with a homebrew background (again, not simply one made according to the official background customization rules), without the DM's prior approval, would be highly unusual, and solidly against the DM's instructions. If you were then unwilling to switch to a non-homebrew background when asked, that is absolutely grounds for banning you from the game. Without the Mark of the Dragon feature, you would not technically be breaking the DM's PhB-only rule, but I suspect many DMs (myself included) would still take at least some issue with the unapproved customization. It's good policy as a player to run custom or unusual things by your DM first, even if they're not breaking any rules. Few DMs appreciate feeling ambushed, and if the player acted poorly when it came to light, I could very easily see the situation escalating into a ban, even from an entirely-reasonable DM. Which, unfortunately, not all DMs are.

Nathan, I think I are missing the point that he did run it by his DM. And then was suddenly banned for it.

Correct. It wasn't concrete yet. This was only character creation. I ran it by them. One got livid and asked why I was doing UA backgrounds, that he had seen people try to use this same overpowered background before.... (Really? I just made it)  I apologized for misunderstanding and just went with a sample. He was so upset he banned me. The second one, as soon as I sent it to him for review, her banned me. No words. No communication. Nothing.

Hobby Hobbit said: Nathan, I think I are missing the point that he did run it by his DM. And then was suddenly banned for it. I didn't deliberately say that though, so I understand if Nathan wondered. But you pieced it together well