Dating a non-gamer

So this topic has likely been brought up before, but I would appreciate the insights of the community here. i've been dating a woman for two years now and we're great together. However one of the few points of contention is my weekly Saturday gaming session. From my perspective it is a hobby that occupies 3 - 4 hours each week ( and often not even that many) but to her, it is a thing that I prioritize over spending time together or visiting her parents etc. We have talked about it many times, and while we usually find a compromise, I can tell that this is something that bothers her. I'd like to live in a world with a happy gf, and my Saturday Shadowrun can co-exist. How have gamers in long term relationships, particularly married gamers, handled this situation? What works for you?

I've been married to two non-gamers. They have their hobbies, I have my hobbies, and we have our hobbies. When I game my wife is doing her hobbies. Usually she likes to watch tv: something I find absolutely horrifying with the drivel it has become. Everyone needs their own time.

When one partner has a hobby that the other doesn't share, you get this sort of situation. I can't give specific advice, beyond this is a red flag to me that she doesn't seem tolerant of you having activities that do not include her. In my family, it's understood that we have non-overlapping hobbies and we're not glued to each others' hips. My weekday WoW time starts at 10pm, after we've had family time. My guys go to airshows and gunshows without me and I get me-time. 2 of us are more avid 'tabletop' gamers than the 3rd and so most friday nights he has his own me-time, and they switch for boardgaming. It doesn't matter the activity. People need time together /and/ time apart, and need to respect each others timesinks. Special events can override agreed-on timeblocks (holidays, parents' anniversaries, etc) but how much time is devoted to a hobby is 'reasonable' is a very subjective answer. I wish you the best of luck in solving this issue.

I don't mean this in a flippant way but since it's the internet I best specify I meant this in all sincerity: Ask her to join. If she dislikes spending time apart, ask her to share with you the hobby you so enjoy. That way you can game AND spend time together. And if she'd rather not RP then that's cool, but it's her choice not to participate in that time and the door is always open. Whatever you two decide, the very best of luck to you both.

This might be an obvious answer, but communication is the best tool. My wife and I still argue over this, but we talk it out and get our emotions as well as logic resolved.

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