Macros for dice rolls

I've been pouring over various tutoruials for Macros and I simply can't seem to grasp it. It's likel learning an alien language and my brain isn't absorbing it. Looking for a macross for a nat20 to say "Fuck you" and a nat1/crit "Fuck me"  any help would be great

You can't do robust conditional output without a Pro subscription... meaning you can't say: "roll 1d20 and IF it's a 20 THEN say, 'Go away or I shall have to taunt you a second time!'" You can fake certain conditional outputs with template trickery, and you can fake certain situational outputs with expansive rollable table setup. For instance, if you setup a rollable table called "D20WithColorText" and you made entries for 1 through 20, and you added your color text to the output for 1 and 20, you could roll against that table easily enough: [[1t[D20WithColorText] ]] If you want to post other roll-specific examples you need, people can help, but "using rolls to do things in games" is generally where you cross the line into needing access to scripts.

Thank you for the information. 

The template trickery timmaugh mentioned doesn't quite work if there's multiple conditions - not in a single parsing, anyway. But you don't have to have just a single parsing - here's an example using a button, reusing rolls, and overwriting template rows. [Results](`/ooc &{template:default} [[[[1d20]]]]{{name=Roll }} {{[[[{$[[1]],0}>20]]](#)= Fuck you }} {{[[[{$[[1]],21}<1]]](#)= Fuck me }} {{[0](#)= [[$[[1]]]]}}) EDIT: You could also do it with false conditionals, like this: &{template:default} {{name= Check [ collapser ](#" style=" display: none; class="showtip" title=) }} {{[1](#)= [[1d18cs>19cf<0+1]] [ collapser ](#" style=" display: none; class="showtip" title=) }} {{[[[1d19=1]]](#)= [[1d1cf<1cs>2]] Fuck me [ collapser ](#" style=" display: none; class="showtip" title=) }} {{[[[1d20=20]]](#)= [[1d0+20]] You're fucked [ collapser ](#" style=" display: none; class="showtip" title=) }} {{[0](#)}} (at least that should be right, as far as I can think right now)