Dealing with absences, no-shows and irregular attendance

How do other GMs deal with absences, no-shows and irregular attendance?  I find that it's more of an issue online than with in-person groups I've played with.  With one group, I'm going to an RSVP system so I'm not sitting around for half an hour on game day waiting to see if people show up. Is it reasonable to turn people down for a game if they know before starting they can't make it to the game regularly?  I'm getting this from a lot of people who want to play in my Saturday afternoon games.  I don't want to go through an ordeal every week trying to find out if I'm going to have a game.  Tracking down my players and getting them to give me an answer - sometimes they change the answer - is a pain in the ass.   And honestly, I have a life.  I could be making other plans if I'm not planning on gaming.  It screws me over when people no-show on me or when I don't plan something for my Saturday and the game falls through even on Friday.  That's why I don't let in people who may or not be in on any given week.

I can't think of any reason that regular attendance (with some leeway for emergencies and illness) would be out of line as a requirement to join a game.  If you've got enough other people who can make it on time waiting in the wings, it seems like it should be understandable to give them priority over those who KNOW they can't reliably make it.   Be polite, state it up front that this is what you expect, and there shouldn't be any hard feelings.  That way if someone breaks the deal and starts only showing up sporadically, you can boot them from the game to make room for someone who will actually show up.  Combined with an RSVP system, like you mention, it should be relatively painless (theoretically, anyway!). 

There's nothing you can control about this except to make your game the most engaging one around so that people don't want to miss. This is something you can control. Nothing else is in your sphere of influence. On top of that, I have a very strict policy when it comes to lateness and absenteeism. If a player misses a game for any reason without notice, that player is removed from the game and will not be invited to any other games I run, ever. I give players a 10 minute window on unannounced lateness. If they show up even one minute after that, I replace them with an alternate. (If you're running an awesome game, your players will know that there are people waiting right behind them to take their spot.) It's 2013 - there is no excuse for not posting or emailing that you'll be missing or will be late for the game. Finally, one other trick I do is require players to post their character sheets, an image of their character, their Google+ email address, and macros are required for the game. Generally speaking when people do this much "work" to join a game, they don't miss games. Still, this bit and the paragraph above are still no guarantee. Your best bet is to work at being the best GM you can be and presenting a game that puts other GMs to shame.

This is a common problem.  I believe the source of the problem lies with the perception of what a tabletop gaming is.  If you were the coach of a bowling or softball team or the director of a community theater, irregular absences would not be tolerated.  The participants of these activities feel pressured enough to not miss the pre arranged appointments, because they know that they are most likely making life miserable.   I think the problem is that tabletop gaming, such as Dungeons and Dragons has this stigma of being a board game like monopoly or texas hold'em poker.  In these games it's ok to say at the last minute, "hey I was interested in playing, but I decided to watch tv tonight instead" and simply feel like you were only denying the group of your presence, not breaking the game.   Last month our DM had built an evening of encounters centered around a dungeon filled with traps, and hazards and an entire story line built for our group's rogue who had bailed at the last minute.  The DM was left having to reframe his entire agenda at the last minute.  I'm using this example as something that happens that is both the player's fault and the DMs  Players should be expected to have a level of commitment, DMs should be able to handle change on the fly.   Solution 1. The GM lays down the law.  At the start of the campaign, the GM makes a set of rules.  For example it could be "Don't miss more than 2 game sessions in a row" or "Notify me at least 48 hours in advance if you aren't going to make it." And make it understood that violators will not be invited back.  This may be a harsh course of action if you don't want to drop friends from the group.  But, then again, if they can't respect the rules you set forth in advance, how much fun are you and your friends really having? Solution 2. The GM is as flexible as the willow branch.   This is actually the sign of a great GM.  Prepare the game session with the acknowledgement that your players are going to flake and you may end up with a group comprised of less than half the group that was there last session.  I play D&D 4th edition.  The second DM book has a great technique for creating "companion" characters.  These are characters that are very lightweight versions of the PCs that can fit into the Roles necessary.  PC: "Hey our healer dropped out this week".  DM: "Well what an interesting happenstance.  Your cousin the runepriest stopped by this week"  I usually have a pile of these ready.  Another thing to understand is that the DM has to balance a game that should be character (PC) driven, but should avoid painting themselves in a corner having the campaign's plot hinder on actions of a single PC.    Understand that these absences will happen simply because as a DM you might be far more invested than your players, and it's not your fault .  However, you have to make sure that you take good care of those players that do show up.      

Iserith said: There's nothing you can control about this except to make your game the most engaging one around so that people don't want to miss. This is something you can control. Nothing else is in your sphere of influence. On top of that, I have a very strict policy when it comes to lateness and absenteeism. If a player misses a game for any reason without notice, that player is removed from the game and will not be invited to any other games I run, ever. I give players a 10 minute window on unannounced lateness. If they show up even one minute after that, I replace them with an alternate. (If you're running an awesome game, your players will know that there are people waiting right behind them to take their spot.) It's 2013 - there is no excuse for not posting or emailing that you'll be missing or will be late for the game. Finally, one other trick I do is require players to post their character sheets, an image of their character, their Google+ email address, and macros are required for the game. Generally speaking when people do this much "work" to join a game, they don't miss games. Still, this bit and the paragraph above are still no guarantee. Your best bet is to work at being the best GM you can be and presenting a game that puts other GMs to shame. How do you get them to join in the first place?  I find that for any system other than D&D, there's just not that many players who know the system.  I'm recruiting and teaching new players, so they expect from me.

Luke O. said: This is a common problem.  I believe the source of the problem lies with the perception of what a tabletop gaming is.  If you were the coach of a bowling or softball team or the director of a community theater, irregular absences would not be tolerated.  The participants of these activities feel pressured enough to not miss the pre arranged appointments, because they know that they are most likely making life miserable.   I think the problem is that tabletop gaming, such as Dungeons and Dragons has this stigma of being a board game like monopoly or texas hold'em poker.  In these games it's ok to say at the last minute, "hey I was interested in playing, but I decided to watch tv tonight instead" and simply feel like you were only denying the group of your presence, not breaking the game.   Last month our DM had built an evening of encounters centered around a dungeon filled with traps, and hazards and an entire story line built for our group's rogue who had bailed at the last minute.  The DM was left having to reframe his entire agenda at the last minute.  I'm using this example as something that happens that is both the player's fault and the DMs  Players should be expected to have a level of commitment, DMs should be able to handle change on the fly.   Solution 1. The GM lays down the law.  At the start of the campaign, the GM makes a set of rules.  For example it could be "Don't miss more than 2 game sessions in a row" or "Notify me at least 48 hours in advance if you aren't going to make it." And make it understood that violators will not be invited back.  This may be a harsh course of action if you don't want to drop friends from the group.  But, then again, if they can't respect the rules you set forth in advance, how much fun are you and your friends really having? Solution 2. The GM is as flexible as the willow branch.   This is actually the sign of a great GM.  Prepare the game session with the acknowledgement that your players are going to flake and you may end up with a group comprised of less than half the group that was there last session.  I play D&D 4th edition.  The second DM book has a great technique for creating "companion" characters.  These are characters that are very lightweight versions of the PCs that can fit into the Roles necessary.  PC: "Hey our healer dropped out this week".  DM: "Well what an interesting happenstance.  Your cousin the runepriest stopped by this week"  I usually have a pile of these ready.  Another thing to understand is that the DM has to balance a game that should be character (PC) driven, but should avoid painting themselves in a corner having the campaign's plot hinder on actions of a single PC.    Understand that these absences will happen simply because as a DM you might be far more invested than your players, and it's not your fault .  However, you have to make sure that you take good care of those players that do show up.       Solution 2 only works if you have a massive group.  The system I run won't work well if I get a massive number of players, but I'm also not willing to run for less than 3 - it's just not fun for anyone. 3-5 is where my Marvel system works.  More and it's unbalanced and cumbersome.  Less, it's underpowered for the heroes and just not any fun.  My game sessions (4 hours) can sometimes kick out mid-battle, so I need a solution to what to do when players don't come back to finish a battle.  Switching out characters in a battle screws up the balance of the combat.  I suppose I could shift the stress (damage) that characters dropping out have taken to players popping in, but it's screwy.  It's hard to stretch the sessions any longer with players all the way from Germany to the western US.  And we haven't moved efficiently in game because all my players are new to the system.  D&D is easy because people know D&D (well I don't 4th ed that well, just enough to know that I'd rather choke on my own vomit than play it). I don't play with anyone I know, so I'm not worried about losing friends.  I am worried about sitting around on a Saturday afternoon with nothing to do because people are too lazy to let me know they're not playing.  I could be out with my friends, I could go the movies, etc.    

No doubt it's easier to put together a group if you're using a more well-known system. I run mostly D&D 4e. It's not too hard to put together a group even on a couple hours notice. Otherwise, I can only recommend solid promotion - what the game's about and why you think it's awesome. Then deliver on that promise.

Iserith said: No doubt it's easier to put together a group if you're using a more well-known system. I run mostly D&D 4e. It's not too hard to put together a group even on a couple hours notice. Otherwise, I can only recommend solid promotion - what the game's about and why you think it's awesome. Then deliver on that promise. But Mavel is such a great  system.  It truly captures Mighty Marvel Mayhem!  (I say this in my LFG.)

If you're talking about Marvel Heroic Roleplaying, I agree. Execute on the promise of that game system and you should have no trouble retaining a group.

Mark E. said: How do you get them to join in the first place?  I find that for any system other than D&D, there's just not that many players who know the system.  I'm recruiting and teaching new players, so they expect from me. If you're running something off the radar, your best bet is to post notices in quite a few places.  Beyond the LFG forums and LFG search app here, I'd try posting notices in relevant Google+ circles; find out if the publisher of your game has a forum and post there (MWP does in this case); find some general interest RPG sites that have LFG forums (e.g. rpg.net) and post there too.  The more eyeballs see your posts the better odds you have in retaining a consistent group and you might even have the luxury of being able to pick and choose players more in-line with your philosophy of attendance and game play.  Also, poaching people who are looking to find a group in the LFG forum works pretty well too. It's certainly possible to get a continuing non-D&D campaign off the ground through Roll20.  I've started up GURPS, Fate Core, Savage Worlds and most recently Swords & Wizardry games - it takes a bit of work, but it is worthwhile in the end.

Dave D. said: Mark E. said: How do you get them to join in the first place?  I find that for any system other than D&D, there's just not that many players who know the system.  I'm recruiting and teaching new players, so they expect from me. If you're running something off the radar, your best bet is to post notices in quite a few places.  Beyond the LFG forums and LFG search app here, I'd try posting notices in relevant Google+ circles; find out if the publisher of your game has a forum and post there (MWP does in this case); find some general interest RPG sites that have LFG forums (e.g. rpg.net) and post there too.  The more eyeballs see your posts the better odds you have in retaining a consistent group and you might even have the luxury of being able to pick and choose players more in-line with your philosophy of attendance and game play.  Also, poaching people who are looking to find a group in the LFG forum works pretty well too. It's certainly possible to get a continuing non-D&D campaign off the ground through Roll20.  I've started up GURPS, Fate Core, Savage Worlds and most recently Swords & Wizardry games - it takes a bit of work, but it is worthwhile in the end. Which sites do you recommend?

RPG.net has the Gamer Gathering sub forum, its probably the biggest general role playing game site and has a healthy number of MHR fans floating around its forums.   Margaret Weis Productions  has its own forums (don't know what the rules are for that one) but I'd find it odd if you couldn't promote their own game there.  Google+ is worthwhile getting on just for the role playing communities that have sprung up, and over there is  +Marvel Heroic Roleplaying  and then the  +Roll20 Players Network .  This is just what I'm aware of, there's likely to be more but its not a system or community I'm entirely familiar with.  There may be comic or Marvel specific forums where you could nab people who wouldn't normally be into RPGs, but a successful elevator pitch could get them involved. You might be the greatest GM in the world, but if you can't find a group that appreciates how you want to run your games, then it's basically a tree falling in the forest.

@Iserith I would just like to say that there IS one thing that is beyond a person's control for not being able to inform of an absence beforehand - if their ISP has trouble and they cannot physically get online in order to inform you of a sudden outage around the time of the game. But otherwise for the most part I agree that there isn't an excuse not to give advance notice. As for dealing with frequent absences, my boyfriend religiously plays MtG and there are release tournaments when they have a new set come out that my BF bails the game for. So we take it in stride when he can't make it and go with the situation. Sometimes we just go without his character (can't find him, or making him sleep mysteriously in cases where he can't really wander off) or I'll play him (since I already have access to his character sheet since we both play on my roll20) It's easier to do this when you know a person well, and everyone in the group holds their breath to see what craziness he'll pull next. Whenever he shows up, people get excited to see what happens next. To promote a concept of not missing, advertise that unless you are always there, you will not get the full experience and will not be able to add your thread of the story. If you expect that they contribute to the story and expect them to build it with you, you'll get more dedicated players.

Terratani said: @Iserith I would just like to say that there IS one thing that is beyond a person's control for not being able to inform of an absence beforehand - if their ISP has trouble and they cannot physically get online in order to inform you of a sudden outage around the time of the game. But otherwise for the most part I agree that there isn't an excuse not to give advance notice. Sure. Maybe that excuse will work once. After that, I'd drop the player from the game. ISP troubles are a hindrance to online play. A great player with a spotty connection (and resulting absences) is doing nobody any good. The current ratio of GMs to players greatly favors GMs and players who will live up to their commitments. There is really no reason to settle for less. I encourage other GMs to be equally demanding and discerning when it comes to this so as to create a community standard. To wit: If you agree to join a game, you agree to conform to at least the basics of courtesy and inform the group in advance when you may not make it for a game. Otherwise, don't join the game.

Iserith said: Terratani said: @Iserith I would just like to say that there IS one thing that is beyond a person's control for not being able to inform of an absence beforehand - if their ISP has trouble and they cannot physically get online in order to inform you of a sudden outage around the time of the game. But otherwise for the most part I agree that there isn't an excuse not to give advance notice. Sure. Maybe that excuse will work once. After that, I'd drop the player from the game. ISP troubles are a hindrance to online play. A great player with a spotty connection (and resulting absences) is doing nobody any good. The current ratio of GMs to players greatly favors GMs and players who will live up to their commitments. There is really no reason to settle for less. I encourage other GMs to be equally demanding and discerning when it comes to this so as to create a community standard. To wit: If you agree to join a game, you agree to conform to at least the basics of courtesy and inform the group in advance when you may not make it for a game. Otherwise, don't join the game. Genuine emergencies happen, too. I had a player who had a trip to the ER.  These things happen and I'm not so crazed that I would come down on a player for that.  But it's more things like players not checking the schedule and forgetting which week we're playing or their schedule bringing them in for work and not notifying me.  And that's bullcrap.  I don't need to sit around waiting when I could be out enjoying the sunshine or what have you. 

I'm not saying to never make exceptions. I'm just saying that emergencies like trips to the ER or ISP problems are probably rarer than reported, if you catch my drift. And in an age where you most people walk around with their face in their phone surfing the internet, an email or post saying one can't make it isn't much to ask for. There's little reason a GM needs to put up with discourteous players.

That's kind of my point.  It's about courtesy.  People need to respect that I have to set aside time, that I have to make time to prep, and that all they have to do is tell me they aren't coming.  And if they know they're going to have a regular schedule conflict, be up front about it with me as the GM rather than avoiding the issue.  Don't make me be the one to drop the hammer and say, "Look, are you going to be called in to work when we have our game on our regular basis?  You are.  Then maybe I should give your slot to another player."  A player with any common sense needs to realize that his/her regular absence is just going to compound those things that come up and game sessions will get canceled, the game will fall apart, and no one will have fun.  And I don't like being the bad guy who has to tell people it's not working.  They need to do it themselves.

I recently had a player who had to miss one of our sessions due to family suddenly coming into town.  He let us know about two hours before the session started, apologized, and we ran the game a person down.  We had a great time anyway and I came up with a quick excuse about how his character was off doing something else. Afterwards, he sent me a PM apologizing for having to miss the session and asked me if there was any penalty.  I decided that I didn't want to cut him out of session completely because then his character would just lag behind both story and experience wise and make future sessions less engaging.  So instead I gave him the option to write a story about what happened while he was off on his own before next week's session.  If he doesn't, he get's half the experience of the party, if he does, he can get up to full experience. The advantage of this method is that you keep the player in the game, give them a challenge to help make sure you aren't just handing out rewards for nothing, and can utilize their story into new story hooks which can greatly improve the player's involvement. That being said we had another player who never came to the first session and never bothered to really get involved.  He was removed from the campaign.  You have to be willing to communicate...there's plenty of other people out there who may want to join the game, and I'd rather put the campaign up for LFP again to replace an unreliable player than spend time trying to get them involved. My policy is pretty much that situation dictates.  I can't hold a strict "no tolerance" policy because I  potentially may have to back out of games (and have had to cancel a game for my own reasons once already).  My work (military) sometimes requires my action or absence on weekends and unplanned, and RL situations take precedence for me and so I can't get too upset when they take precedence for others. We have a "Weekly Headcount" thread in our campaign where players post the day of the session whether or not they are going to be there.  So far everyone has rogered up before the game...including last weekend where the one couldn't come.  This at least gives you some advance notice of who to expect for the game. And if that doesn't work, kick some players and invite new ones.  It's not the end of the world, and doesn't have to be the end of the campaign.  There are plenty of reasons why an adventuring party or other group would replace members...if you can't come up with a reason you may need to work on your story skills *wink*!

I run 2 campaigns with 4 players in both. I have 1 session per week every other week per campaign (so a total of 1 session per week and a 2 week interval between sessions of the same campaign). If any player can't attend a session then that session is cancelled. I reguire in-advance-notice for any absences (min 48 h with the exception of illness etc.). A session is cancelled about once or twice per 2 months. This hasn't been a problem to me or my players but if player A would be the cause of a lot of cancelled sessions I would give the other players a chance to vote that player out.

I've put it out there for my players that they are expected to notify me if they are going to miss.  Sometimes they still don't warn me though and just don't show up.  It's really exhausting to try and recruit new people every week.

I guess I have a really good group of players, I usually get a heads up almost a week in advance if someone can't make it. They either post it in the forum board or send me a skype message.

I reward good play, and include "turning up on time" in that category.  XP is the easiest method without disrupting balance too much.  When someone isn't turning up, it's not long before they're a level behind for a session or 2.  Players don't like that, so they'll put in more effort. On the downside, I sometimes have to give them some way of getting back up.  I don’t want to keep penalising a player who’s taken the hint and shown commitment to turning up on time. Then, the challenge is to create an engaging session.  This needs general GM tricks, e.g. not allowing any player to dominate the game.  As a player, if I spend half the game twiddling my thumbs and not involved in the plot, it’s really not my problem if I have less incentive to turn up on-time next week.