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Gamma World: Temple of the Hostess (7/27, 2 PM Eastern)

The year is 2162 (or Six Monkey Slap-Slap according to the reformed calendar). It's been 150 years since the Big Mistake, and the Earth is a very different place. The ruins of the Ancients litter a landscape of radioactive deserts, mutated jungles, and vast, unexplored wildernesses. Strange new creatures, such as beetles the size of cars and super-evolved badgers with Napoleonic complexes, roam the world. The survivors of humanity gather in primitive tribes or huddle in trade towns that rarely rise above the technology of the Dark Ages. Even the nature of humanity is now different, because generations of exposure to radiation, mutagens, and the debris of other realities have transformed humans into a race of mutants who have major physical alterations and potent mental abilities. This is the world of Gamma Terra, a world of dangerous mutant monsters, jungle-grown ruins of the cities of the Ancients, and mysterious artifacts of awesome technology. It's your world to survive, to explore, and to conquer - if you're up to the challenge. CHAPTER ONE: TEMPLE OF THE HOSTESS Even at night, the Great Mound can be seen at a distance thanks to a trio of gamma moths that flit about and intermittently emit blasts of radiation - Snap, Crackle, and Pop the local mutos call them. During the day, it's the biggest damn gigant nest you've ever seen, and legend has it, these mutated bugs built their home around the ruins of the Ancients known as the Temple of the Hostess. When the Ham Riders - porkers with moto-bikes and attitudes - drove into town and took over the hardhold, their demand (and the consequences of non-compliance) was clear: Get into that Temple and retrieve its legendary holy relic, The Last Twinkie, or be slow-roasted on a spit and served with lettuce and tomato on rye. Every able-bodied freak in Danger Town was put to the task, and even a few that weren't so able-bodied. You're among them. Never mind the automobile-sized gigants that call that place home or the urban legends that the Temple is rumored to contain twisted survivors and live metal from the Before Times. You need that Twinkie or Danger Town is toast. Day/Time: Saturday, 7/27, 2 PM Eastern (one-shot) System: Gamma World (the latest one, based on D&D 4e) Voice: Google+ Hangout Players Needed: 1, possibly 2. Players signing up will be expected to be on time and stay for the entire session (4 hours). Basic macros are required. Moderate experience with D&D 4e is required. Character creation will be done at the session since it literally takes 3 seconds to generate one. Will you get your hands, paws, branches, or tentacles on The Last Twinkie or yellow die #5 tryin'?
Sharkitty wants to know why he can't find any heroic freaks to go with him to find The Last Twinkie. Sharkitty also has psychic powers. He will have his answer.
Perhaps if we had your input on the matter, we might have realized that Sharkitty was wholly inappropriate to this particular mission. As it turns out, Sharkitty was snapped in half by a gigant soldier. His cute but deadly head was chucked into a radioactive crater while his shark bits were fed to glowing gigant grubs. No doubt generations from now someone will uncover Sharkitty's skull and wonder what merciful god would suffer such an abomination to live in the first place. And so the moto-cycle gang leader, Chicharron, is pressing more mutos into his service to go get that Twinkie. Among them is Theodore here. Calling him "Teddy" is... inadvisable. Are you going with, or what? This Twinkie's not going to find itself. (Looking for one player.)
Teddy didn't make it. He was vaporized by living metal that emerged from a big duralloy blast door of the temple. He was the closest one yet to making it in. Now he's just a puddle of plastic goo, smoldering hair, and a single black button eye staring grotesquely into infinity. The tape recorder that comprised his heart is on a constant loop now, repeating strange stories about fairies, elves, and trolls that make no bloody sense whatsoever. Things are looking grim. We need one more hero-freak with a big set of 2+ balls before 12 noon Eastern with preference given to experienced D&D 4e players. If such a heroic muto cannot be found, we must enter the Great Mound with who we have, and may the Flying Spaghetti Monster have mercy on our souls.
Wait, before 12 noon Eastern? Well, if it's not too late, I suppose I can stand some goofiness to fill out your roster.