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Backstory. Help?

Lurik Liadon From the Joraga nation raised with little to no respect for any other race in the land Lurik and his nomadic clan roamed Bala Ged taking all they sought after. Since a young elf he was taught to use his longbow to hunt and kill anything in his sights and he was taught ANYTHING can be hunted. At the age of 64 his father Laucian let him join on his first real hunt but his father never told him what they were hunting until they had sight of theyre "prey". dun Dun DUN. As they crested a hill Lurik could see a camp near a creek when he questioned his father all he had to say is " Son, this will be your first real kill, no more target practice or aiming at trees with your friends. Your bow although hardy, will not last long with your rigorous training so when you see a man with a longbow I want you to shoot. if you kill him the bow is yours, if you miss i will shoot remember son : You keep what you kill." As he and his father waited for the lone traveler. Lurik began to think of all the "hunts" his father and his men went on in the past and wondered if they killed people all those times. As he contemplated this an elvish being emerged from the trees near the camp. His father whispered "fire when ready". Lurik felt a lurch in his stomach as he nocked an arrow. The elvish man carried a dead furry creature to the ashen firepit where he began to light his fire. Lurik drew back his arrow steadied his aim and fired at the man as a solitary tear rolled down his cheek out of his fathers sight. The arrow soared and Lurik hoped he would miss but his muscle memory seemed to have taken over during his shot because he watched the arrow sink into the back of the mans skull and the man fall limply into the ashes. "GREAT SHOT!!!!" his fathet exclaimed. His fathers voice snapped Lurik back to his senses as they moved toward the mans camp through the trees Lurik faught with his emotion of pride for his shot and his skills and the feeling of remorse for killing out of cold blood while externally looking elated at his successful first "hunt". He and his father searched the camp and the mans body only to find a longbow on the mans body and the creature he killed. His father picked up the bow and said " This bow is slighty too decoritive for my taste but you made the kill so it is yours." as he handed Lurik the bow. Lurik dropped his bow and took the one from his fathers hands. His father picked up the creature and lead the way back to their clan. The turmoil within Lurik went on for days as he trained with his ill-gotten bow. He knew that he should not care and he could not explain why he did. Eventually he decide he could no long remain with his clan murdering and pillaging till his death. A week after his first hunt Lurik slipped away one night never to return to his family and destine to live his long life alone with his ill-gotten bow to always remind him why he should be alone. Lurik has spent the last 40 yrs living alone constantly moving hunting food and surviving and taking odd jobs hunting . Eventually [insert ingame story] brought him to his current group, where he tries to bury hes disdain for others and work for a common goal. This is my first time writing a backstory so if you guys have any input or critizism please le
im pretty sure someone is going to tell you this is not the place for this. LFG forum is actual asking or looking to join a group or looking for players. advice for a backstory is not that.
You should consider writing more becouse your punctuation is inconsistent. Try to not repeat words like "he was taught to use his longbow to hunt and kill anything in his sights and he was taught ANYTHING can be hunted". As for the story, it looks great so far but C'MON..you kind of dropped the ball at the very end. Where's the father & son confrontation? Where's that beautiful breaking point in which the character goes against the odds? Also where's his mother? Lots of stuff to explore but looks very promising.
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Gen Kitty
Forum Champion
From the Roll20 Community Code of Conduct : The Roll20 Forums exist to discuss topics directly related to the use of the Roll20 program. Anything that more fittingly could be discussed on another website SHOULD be discussed there. Here are some good places to discuss this topic: /r/rpg /r/LFG