Funny role play stories.

So this forum is all about funny stories that happened to you when role playing. I'll start. So when i was playing dungeon world with a class i built my self it was a magic class so i gave it a magic trick ability. It let them do things like make things float or let you grab things. Just basic stuff to make you seem more magical. Any ways another guy in my role play decided he wanted to punch me in the face. Me being a magic class i didn't think it would be the smartest Thing to get in to a fist fight. So instead i decided to use my magic trick ability to grab his nuts with magic force and squeeze. The gm made me roll for non lethal damage. I rolled the Highest damage i could. So the Gm made him roll a save to see if his nuts popped he failed and one of them popped..... I accidentally popped a guys nuts. But that's not the best part.... we where sitting around trying to think of a way to fix this with magic or something and we ended up deciding to just get them replaced with steel balls. But not just any steel balls magic steel balls with a enchantment to protect him so he is now completely immune to damage done to his nuts. How ever we are still not to the best part. With his new found balls of steel this guy killed a hell hound by jumping on its neck and cracking its spine. He killed a hell hound with his balls......Also from now on when ever he walks he clanks.

A long time ago I was playing CHAMPIONS (a super-hero game that was expanded into the Hero System for other settings). The game-master was trying to get us to figure out something, but we were in a slow-spot of the game and there were non-player characters acting as obstacles. The GM said, "Think! What are the two ways in CHAMPIONS to make an NPC do what you want?" One player spoke up and said, "Welllll, there's violence..." We laughed hard for a minute. We never found out what the second way was.

In a game of Vampire: the Masquerade many years ago, the PCs were all called up to come and meet with the Prince. One of the characters was sort of a ninja-type, and decided to run along rooftops to reach his destination. He came upon a highway interrupting his route. The GM had him roll dice for jumping across. He failed, and landed in the road a few lanes short. After a series of additional rolls the GM gave the player to pull him out of the road (which turned out to be a series of additional botches...), a semi truck was barreling down the highway towards him, the semi was filled from floor to ceiling with bricks, the semi blew a tire, and the semi flipped over directly onto the hapless ninja vampire, leaving an ugly blood smear across the pavement. The same player had a similar problem in a game of Mage: the Ascension, although this time it was entirely his own fault rather than just bad luck. Two Akashic Brotherhood PCs were traveling together on a ship; a couple sessions in, at a port, a third PC is trying to join the party. The lower-ranked Brother challenges him: "If you can hit me with your staff, you may join us." Attack roll - hit - damage roll - zero damage. The Brother granted the newcomer permission to join the party. "Wait!" says the higher-ranked Brother, stepping in front of his comrade. "Now hit me!" The newcomer, a Euthanatos mage, rolls his eyes, pulls out an Uzi, and unloads with the full auto setting. The Brother's player says he wants to use his Connection sphere to bend the barrage of bullets around him. The GM (me) says something to the effect of "That's going to be vulgar magick, and very difficult, not to mention if successful the bullets will hit your buddy. You've got Entropy, you should just make the gun jam." Unfortunately, the player was adamant in his desire to bend bullets around him, so I let him roll Connection. He hit a quadruple botch. Not only did the bullets not bend around him, but they curved into him. Then they exploded. Then he suffered some massive Paradox backlash for his failed attempt at extremely vulgar magick. The only reason he didn't die outright was because I was trying to be merciful and it was the second or third session of the campaign.

Long ago - during an original D&D game sometime around 1971. The party had just finished a battle and all were down a few HP as our Cleric, played by me, had just been killed by an illusion fireball thrown by our very own illusionist. (I failed 3 separate saving throws) One of our ladies playing the part of an illusionist was sitting on the arm of a chair - our Elf warrior was sitting in the chair. He got a little frisky and said. " I pinch Aurora on the butt." And promptly did just that - she swung and whacked him over the head with her pencil breaking it (It was not a playful little whack) - and said, " I hit him with my staff." The DM never lost a stride - "Roll for damage." DM's ruling - the pinch was 1HP. But breaking a staff over someone's unarmored head does 3d8 damage. He took 16 hp damage - killing him. Unfortunately, the staff was ruined also. We regretted losing that staff more than the obnoxious elf.

Good laughs to be had in here. Playing SW: Saga edition a few years back (Dark side campaign): The group was pulled out of hyperspace by an interdiction field and a fleet of "Bucaneer" vessels were facing us, weapons hot. We were hailed and told to lower our shields and prepare to be boarded. There wasn't much of a choice. We were taken hostage and questioned under torture with bacta drips, to ensure longevity. Fiancee's character is killed during questioning, but as this was a campaign about a year and a half in the playing, her Sith had transfer essence. She decides to take over a guard at the control station we're being held in (Flying penitentiary of sorts), transfer essence succeeds, she takes over the guard. Uses the control panel and security feed to locate the rest of the party being held together in one of the 9 cell blocks. She wants to roll Use Computer to detach the single cell block, of course, she rolls a 1, initiating the self-destruct sequence of the ship. From there, it turned into a prison riot... with lots of vulgar things happening to inmates an people dying everywhere. Next turn she tries again to detach the single block, again, rolls a 1, detaches all parts of the ship from the connecting walkways... so now we have 10 pieces of flying ship (ship looked like a wheel with 9 spokes, main part of ship being the middle) all getting ready to explode. Through some serious shenanigans most of us made it to escape pods. The one who didn't became a force ghost and haunted us for the rest of the campaign.

so this is not my story but it was far to good to pass up. <a href="http://www.funnyjunk.com/channel/4chan/Sir+Bearing" rel="nofollow">http://www.funnyjunk.com/channel/4chan/Sir+Bearing</a>... The link will lead you to it.

while I don't RPG often, I do wargame when i can, can i tell the tail of how i whoop my science teacher arse ataxis and allies?

if its funny go for it man

yeah, it is, I was only 12, and i beat My science teacher(40) in a slaughter, We were playing axis and allies minitures, and He was playing birtlish, and I was playing a mix axis force. he was charging his men into the town and keeping his AT weapons(two six pounders and a "archer" AT gun, with a few soldier plus officer to support) to the right sides of the town in a gamble to wipe out my light tanks. and a few support weapons ( a armor car, a MG, and a bern gun) to the left of the town I keep my tanks behind two forests, and knocked out his AT guns with my Japanese super plane, after I did that, I move my tanks into the twon a begun to slaughter his peoples in there, I then knock out his armor car., and used my plane to kill the rest of the soldiers on the hills that the AT guns were on. within six turns, all that was left was his officer, which i killed the next turn. I bitz his A** that game the "sadest" part? I only lost one Pz.1, if that

Too many to count honestly, I'll put up some of my favorite *palm forehead* moments on the GM side of things. 3.5 D&D, quick one time dungeon as a training session for new players as well as a get to know you for the entire group. Two rogues, one monk, are the primary culprits with this (there were other players, but these three were the ones that really made the magic happen). They get into a room that has one, I'll say that again, ONE, dire bear. The monk's response? I can run faster than it, and am fast enough to dodge anything that it can hit me with, so I'm just going to run it in circles while you (the rogues) try to snipe it with arrows, and even tries to convince the wizard that he can reflex save out of a fireball or whatever else to feel free to AOE on top of him. Before we are able to stop him, he jumps in and starts running the bear around in circles. This results in one of the most amazing series of failed rolls that I have ever been witness to. Initiative - the rogues are ahead of the rest of the group by a bunch, they're going first. First rogue, readies his bow, takes a shot, rolls a 1. Makes a few other rolls, drops his bow. Second rogue, readies her bow, drops her bow as well. The group doesn't do anything, laughs at them, and the bear keeps chasing our poor monk. After another round, they've got their weapons back in hand and are ready to do some damage. They do a grand total of about 2 damage because one of them misses entirely. By this point the rest of the group is laughing so hard that they skip their turns and just admit that they're doing nothing for the rest of this fight to let the rogues try to kill the bear all on their own, leaving the monk stuck running in circles as long as it takes. Long story short- it took far longer than ever needed, including a few arrows that hit the monk, to finally kill the one dire bear. Same campaign, same female rogue that couldn't hit the dire bear. After a bit of investigation the players sneaked near the enemy's main camp in hopes of overhearing their plans. The rogues snuck in, and managed to catch a glimpse of the leader of the army. They came back to the group with the information and the group decided that it was 'worth a shot' to try to snipe him. For the rest of the session the group came up with a list of spells, items, and gear that they were going to use on the one rogue in the attempt to get her to hit with sneak attack damage. There were blessings, prayers, potions, enchantments, it was over the top crazy. I mean, it has to be some of the best team work that I have ever seen from my players, EVER. I figured out the roll needed, and it turned out to be something really great, even at the distance they were working with, like needing to roll a 4 or higher to hit and it honestly made me afraid that my campaign would have yet another weird twist to it because if the leader got taken out by a well rolled sneak attack I had to rewrite and redo a lot of work. Luckily for me, she dropped her bow again and gained the attention of the entire army. With no coordination the party split up running in random directions to not have to deal with the entire camp of soldiers hunting them. For the next session or two the entire game was running, hiding, and the players trying to find each other. From that game on my players have always had a meeting spot (usually back at the city at a tavern or shop) just in case they ever get split up again. Last one, I promise. Modern setting, high rise building in a city. Had all 60+ floors mapped out and ready to play through. The party started on floor 50-ish, and they know that the police were starting on floor 1 and working their way up to find them (they made some really bad choices and got caught in a building wide lock down to find them). I had it all ready for them to do what they had done up to that point and fight their way out. Everything was pointing to them going all in, and making it a blood bath. They go down a few levels, turn around, and start going up to the roof. In a series of amazingly bad ideas they shot out a window of a neighboring building, had one of them JUMP from the roof of the first building into the second building (amazing roll that actually worked while I was expecting it to be more of a suicide jump), and then shot a rope from the roof to the room that the player was standing in so that he could tie it off and make a zip line for the rest of the group. This was 600+ feet in the air, and all of the attention from the cops were on the entrances and exits, so they made it across the street and out of the building before anyone could report what had happened and the cops could react. 60 floors of a high rise building kindly mapped out with all of the cops they'd have to kill to get out the front door was quickly moved to the 'unused maps' section of my binder and we had to skip the next two scheduled sessions because of how behind their stunt put me.

I was playing in a 3.5 middle earth game and a Inn keeper refused to let my wolf stay in the Inn with me and my partner. He escorted me from the building and left the door open with a wooden floor after flashing me his steel. I was bit miffed by this so I made what is now simply known as "The Shot." I said, "Called shot Ricochet off the ground inside the Inn into his junk." our DM informed me that I would need a natural 20 to succeed and if I failed at all I would be putting that arrow into my own foot. I said, "I don't care who the hell doesn't like wolves?" rolled a natural 20... Succeeded and the inn keeper dropped dead instantly. I put my bow away and walked away whistling and acting as cool as I could even though there was a city full of witnesses. There was supposed to be this full quest line of adventures we were to go on to get an audience with the ruler of this city but because of "The Shot" we got an audience immediately. Same Campaign several weeks later, the party took an evil turn ended up ganking a 8th level paladin to get his nice armor and sword for my warrior friend. several natural 20's were rolled this Paladin should have murked us really badly but we rolled really well and he didn't. In the end we stripped him naked and agreed not to kill him. However our Cleric had this new portal spell and decided to put it to use so he opened a portal below the paladin and made the exit above him. The Paladin entered and exited the portal until he hit terminal velocity and the spell expired causing him to hit the ground and take a massive amount of fall damage. To which my Cleric friend said, "We didn't kill him gravity did, so we didn't break our word." Our DM at this point sort of lost it telling us that, "I wrote so much backstory for that guy and he is so vital to the plot do you guys know what you just did?" to which I replied, " You mean he was so vital to the plot, he's dead now so he isn't anymore. And I like to think we made a difference in the world, got our warrior some sweet platemail and I feel good about how this went down."