Say something! Just one word other than: “You will save a soul.” I have enough of this shit. Aren’t you supposed to guide me or something like that? That’s how it’s supposed to work, isn’t it? Wait this is just a sick joke of her, right? To show me, how I messed up everything. She is just like every other member of the Dark Seldarine twisted and mean. Not really caring for anyone or anything than her own goals. AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH! Say something! By the Abyss! SAY SOMETHING! Of all the voices and ghosts in my mind, you are the one I truly want to hear and speak to right now. Any wisdom how I can help my friends to show them what we need to do without being at each other’s throat. Encouragement or advice to enable taking the steps again that I need to take again. The others in here know that no matter how it looks on the outside that I am getting weaker again. It took me way longer to throw the Tej away and I can feel him ready to attack the next time I am weak enough to ask for alcohol. Or next time I will just take something by force that I feel is a danger to us. Or I will truly try to murder someone and find the taste in that again. I am scared don’t you understand that. Not matter which of my pasts will attack me I am afraid to lose and that will be it for me. I will die a drunkard's death, rot away in a cave where no one will ever find me or become a murderer and assassine like my family once intended. Everything of this will hurt my friends or kill them and I don’t want that. If any of what is happening now should help me get my faith back, in myself or her, it is not working. I try to have faith, honestly. If you think that fighting the dangers of the jungle will help me with that, it is wrong. What use is it if we defeat an Eye Tyrant one minute and instead of having a party we are trying to kill each other again the next minute. So please say something! I am begging you!
