Honestly, it was a good week to miss, as not much happened. We ran afoul of the witch, Baba Yaga, with Hansel and Gretel tied to a spit over an open flame. She would have killed us for spying on her, but as she was readying to do so, she realized she was out of salt. Well, you just can't eat German children (or any other, for that matter), without salt. So, we agreed to go fetch her some salt. She was so pleased with us, that she invited us to dine with her. Well, who'd be stupid enough to refuse a powerful witch's hospitality? Not us! The bard played some pre-dinner music, grinding out some pole dancing to the sounds of screams from the slow-roasting children. The paladin, tired of the screeching-it interfered with his pre-meal prayer-bashed Hansel and Gretel to death with his tower shield (he's Lawful Good, with Chaotic Evil tendencies), after which we were all able to enjoy our cleric and monk appetizers in (relative) peace; those two really pissed her off somehow. The rogue and the barbarian got into a belching contest with Baba Yaga, soundly beating her. She was so impressed that she made the entire group honorary members of F.O.B.Y, Friends of Babba Yagga. As celebration for our entry into the organization, Baba Yaga allowed each of us to peruse her collection of magic items and artifacts. Imagine our surprise when, after viewing them, she allowed each of us to take ONE of our choice, as a keepsake of our wonderful meal. The ranger took 'Bow of Hood', the Paladin took Excalibur, the barbarian, Elric's sword, Stormbringer , the surviving casters took staves of the magi , one rogue got Kuroth's Quill, the other took a magic cow that belched fire and pooped prismatic rays on command, and the bard picked the invulnerable negligee of arnd (male attackers need to roll a natural 20 to hit player. Female attackers must make a Wis save of DC 30 to avoid seeking player out and engaging in hand to hand, unarmed combat using only their nails (1d2 pts of damage max per attack) as they hiss a growl at the wearer. Baba Yaga..turns out she plays for the 'other team', decided to bed the bard (who wasn't about to say 'no' to a high level witch). It was a pretty disgusting eight hours (Baby Yaga was drunk and had 'issues'), but the bard made multiple saves vs. poison (con checks) and managed to keep from puking her guts out. Baby Yaga, so impressed, offered her another artifact for her trouble: Boots of the Houri (Haste effect when facing male opposition, +15 to base move speed (before the haste), +20 to CH and +10 to DEX, advantage on all cha checks against men, immunity to STDs, and character gets to make a 'performance' check against DC 15 anytime he/she is threatened with death/captured-success= set free/failure=fate worse than death. Finally, wearer is imbued with eternal youth. Side effects include a -6 to int and wis, and player always has disadvantage against attacks/spells cast by women. All in all, a pretty uneventful outing.My expectations are a bit higher for next week's game :P
