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Devilish Debriefing

One of the runes on Fiendsbane’s blade flickered out as it was scored through with a slashing insignia, leaving three glowing a deep purple. Varien regarded his blade. “Fiendsbane, what happens when you finish your goal?” He asked. Fiendsbane pondered this question. “You mean when I’ve achieved my purpose? When I have become the bane of all fiends?” There was a pause. “That future has not been revealed to me. But I bet you it will be cool.” Varien sighed. “I’ll bet you’re right,” he said. “That last one, Rimmon, was powerful,” Fiendsbane said. “But not as powerful as Levistus, right?” Varien asked. Fiendsbane chuckled and the sound was like a blade being drawn across a whetstone. “No, are you kidding? But close, very close. I can feel my power increasing. I feel as though I am getting closer to my true purpose.” Fiendsbane’s blade began to glow, and its weight shifted a bit in Varien’s hands. The blade looked sharper somehow, and perhaps even a few inches longer. Bob examined the five-pointed quintent in his hands as it magically shrank down to a human-scale polearm. He felt as though the weapon was attempting a telepathic bond, but there was too much interference in the psychic signal to be sure. Eventually, the Claw of Tiamat spoke. “Who is it that has picked up the Claw of Tiamat?” a voice like claws on a chalkboard echoed. “Speak, wielder!” Bob cleared his throat. “It is I, Robert Trevelyan, to whom am I speaking?” “Robert Trevelyan?” The voice repeated. “A human? Ugh, give me strength…oh! But a human with dragon’s blood coursing through their veins. Very interesting. I am Vutha Iejir.” “Vutha Iejir?” now it was Bob’s turn to repeat a name. “Yes, I am Vutha Iejir, resident herald of Tiamat’s will, and you will hear me,” Vutha growled. “Sure,” Bob said. “I hear you.” “Good, good,” Vutha said. “Can you hear me now?” “The signal was a little dodgy,” Bob admitted. Vutha sighed. “Yes, that is the doing of the abjuration chamber on board the ship of my previous wielder. It interferes with telepathic communications from outside the vessel, but also plays merry hob with telepathy within its airframe, although in close proximity it can be less of an obstacle.” There was a pause and then another sigh of disgust. “Ah, but you’re of gold dragon lineage. Oh dear, what a pity.” “What do you have against gold dragons?” Bob asked. “What do you think?” Vutha replied brusquely. “But it is of little matter. There will be plenty of time for transmogrifications and bloodline cleansing later. So long as you and the Will of Tiamat are in alignment I don’t see any problem with us getting along.” Siegfiend suppressed a giggle. “Yeah, sure, complete alignment,” Bob said warily. “Yes, yes,” Vutha replied, satisfied for the moment. “Now, I’m getting something…yes…you’re a religious figure of some renown, is that correct?” “That is correct,” Bob said. “Ah, I can work with that, yes, yes, I can work with that,” Vutha said thoughtfully. “But let us put our cards on the table, human. To wield me is to command utmost respect – you bend the knee to no one when attuned to me, do you understand?” Varien leaned over to Bob. “Bob, I’ve got devil ichor in my boots, would you mind cleaning that for me?” “You walk with lesser beings,” Vutha growled, “but you shall not carry me as one, allow me to make that clear to you now.” “Would you like me to carry you on my head?” Bob asked. “Well, that would be a start,” Vutha replied. “Now then, tell me, what happened to Rimmon? I feel that our attunement has been broken.” “Rimmon’s vessel is under new management,” Bob replied. “Oh dear,” Vutha said. “Fair enough, I’m sure we shall speak more in the future should you open yourself to attunement, oh, I have such sights to show you.” “I’m sure,” Bob said. “Yes, well, clearly you and your…minions…are busy. We will talk again, as I am very curious to see what treasures you may have uncovered in your mutinous venture. You shall find that a little coin goes a long way towards keeping me happy. Again, we’ll speak more later. Enjoy yourself. But not too much.” “We’ll see about that,” Bob said.     A brief calm had descended upon the ichor-soaked deck of the airship’s bridge. All was silent save for the clucking of a couple of polymorphed devils who were presently strutting around as chickens. A few tentative imps replaced their dead comrades at various battle stations, and the chain devil navigatrix expertly pulled the directional chains from the complicated clockwork apparatus before the expansive viewing windows. One imp wearing overalls emerged from a tunnel carrying a mop and bucket and began to mop up the steaming ichor with alacrity. Air-wen’s pixies were flitting about on gossamer wings, shortbows at the ready, and some shared shy glances with some of the more courageous imps on the command deck. A confused gelugon lowered his spear and backed off as Optio Dundarth leaned into his new role as Chief of Bridge Security, barking orders to the remaining fiends. Siegfiend followed Air Marshal Zuvok towards Rimmon’s Ready Room and invited Bob, Varien, and Airwen to follow. Varien gave Bob a knowing glance and the two fell in behind the pit fiend. Airwen drifted behind them like a lost puppy. The Ready Room was well-appointed, large enough to conduct a briefing with staff officers. There was an imposing desk with a high-backed chair, studded with nine-inch-nails, the pelt of some kind of animal stretched on a trophy frame above two brackets, where normally a weapon would be stored. Along the walls were mounted a series of shadowboxes containing a variety of soul coins. Varien recognized the pelt as belonging to a winter wolf, a native to Cania. Clearly it was a trophy of some kind. Air Marshal Zuvok was behind Rimmon’s desk, cutlass sheathed and pistol holstered, rifling through a scattering of infernal parchments atop the blotter. “It must be here,” she muttered to herself. “It must!” “I would imagine that Rimmon’s absence will make your job a lot easier,” Siegfiend said. Zuvok’s heavy-lashed eyes flitted towards the pit fiend. “You don’t know the half of it,” she said. “One does not get demoted as often as he does without learning to play the game as well,” Siegfiend said. Zuvok chuckled. “Indeed. Devils are indeed skilled at playing a particular sort of game, but clearly Rimmon was not anticipating the introduction of a number of new playing pieces onto the board.” She gave the Champions of Phandalin a significant glance. Varien approached the desk. “What are you looking for?” Zuvok’s reddish complexion blushed further for a moment, and then she shrugged. “I see no reason to lie. I am looking for a particular contractual agreement.” “Your contract?” Varien asked. “Yes,” Zuvok said. “I hold half of it, but Rimmon carries the other half.” Siegfiend cast detect magic to see which documents were magical and soul-binding. Using his Harper tradecraft he had become quite adept at discerning incriminating paperwork and obtaining classified information. Varien assisted the Air Marshal as well, looking for anything resembling an infernal contract. It wasn’t long before they recovered Zuvok’s contract. Siegfiend also came up with a sheaf of correspondence between Rimmon and other fiends that contained information of great interest.   My dearest Tuncheth, Congratulations on the establishment of your retreat at Nebulat – I trust the troops I pledged to your service were put to good use in taming the frozen wilds of Gelineth and providing you and your wizards with the time needed to build your redoubt unmolested by agents of the Archduke of Cania. Your research into the Plume is fascinating to me and I would be happy to offer you my patronage—through the usual channels, of course—to support your pet wizards’ continued research and development. Your theoretical research into the deepest of cold magics shows incredible promise and will doubtlessly elevate you to the greatest heights, depending on who is best placed to do the elevating. Wink, wink. I always counted you among the most promising strategists in the advisory corps and it warms my heart, figuratively speaking, to see you taking such initiative under these dire circumstances. Would that I had the opportunity to reward your loyalties in person – but time will indeed tell. Yours deliciously, The Rightful Lord of Cania First to His Infernal Majesty Duke of Nessus Rimmon   To the illustrious Duke of Nessus Rimmon, I write Spare me your syrupy spiel – remember that we have been abandoned twice over – first by you, when you were exiled from Cania, and second, by Mephistopheles, who was seduced by that flaming fool Quagrem with his overrated and un-Canian fire magic. We, the true loyalists of Cania, have been frozen out, if you’ll excuse the pun. That said, your support in establishing Nebulat was, and is, appreciated. However, Mephistopheles is currently Lord of Cania and you are not. Why should we not focus our efforts on turning Mephistopheles from his heretical pursuits and return to his good graces, rather than foment another civil war in our homeland to put you back on the frozen throne? The path of least resistance seems to me to be less prone to failure than a risky venture that could put the plans of my brethren back by centuries. In His Service, Tuncheth   My very dear Tuncheth, Your cause for irritations is very valid, my protegé. However, you should tread lightly lest the ground beneath your feet be a frost-covered crevasse – recall the fate of the city of Kintyre, buried thousands of feet beneath the Great Glacier T’chemox. It is my dearest wish that you and your colleagues in Nebulat avoid that gruesome, grinding fate. I submit to you that Mephistopheles’ obsession with the Hellfire project is deeply-rooted and he will not be turned from it – you and your fellow advisors will not be able to break him from the thrall of pyromancy so easily. Not without my patronage. Why waste your time to correct your master’s foolish behaviour when you can connive for a replacement, especially one that stands ready to take action in congruence with your goals? Let us entertain your corrective strategy for the moment. I am well aware of your agents’ continued intrigue in Mephistar, their efforts to spy on Quagrem and company while searching for—or hells forbid, planting–evidence of treachery against Mephistopheles. Recall that I still have contacts of my own in Mephistar, and, if you were to pledge your loyalty to me, could activate them in service to your cause. To show that I am a devil of my word, I provide you with the following bit of intelligence: Mephistopheles’ all-consuming obsession with Hellfire has upset the balance of divine energy in Cania – his work expends more souls than it takes in. Simply put, my dearest Tuncheth, Mephistopheles has overextended himself. He is gambling on reaping a bumper crop of corrupt souls—namely, his Cult of Hellfire upon the Material Plane—but in the meantime he must borrow divine energy from his fellow rulers in the Nine Hells, and that leaves him vulnerable. His creditors, were they canny enough, could sabotage his recruiting drive to keep him in their debt. Have your spies investigate the dealings of Adonides, Steward of Cania, who has been misappropriating divine energy and siphoning it to Quagrem, Dean of the School of Hellfire, to fuel gods-know-what deviltry behind the Archduke’s back. Surely a devil of your aptitude can work out how best to turn this information to your advantage. In the meantime, I suffer you to continue your work into the Plume and consider how well your research could be supported by a Lord of Cania sympathetic to your cause, rather than one consumed by the perversions of Hellfire. Yours succulently, The Rightful Lord of Cania First to His Infernal Majesty Duke of Nessus Rimmon
To the Lord of the Fifth, the Frozen Prince, Archduke Levistus,   I will get to the point. You and I are of a kind. Bereft of allies, unable to properly exploit that which rightfully belongs to us. You and I have had our differences over the long centuries – in this we again are of a kind – not exactly well-liked, forced to bend and scrape. Why, I myself have had to recently correspond with a lower-level devil as though we were on equal footing when, in a just and perfect underworld, he would pass beneath my notice and be grateful for it. Though our loyalties are never in question, our reputations have indeed suffered. Ah yes, to the point. It has come to my attention that your latest plot to break free of your Tomb by channeling the power of the avatar of Hyolyn the Phoenix has suffered an unfortunate setback. While this is to your misfortune, the timing of my letter could not be more advantageous to you. I believe I have the answer to your predicament – the pyromancy of Hellfire – a fire capable of burning, well, fire itself. Say what you will about Mephistopheles, there slithers a devil in the details – an infernal innovator of the highest order. But it is you that I should be flattering, not he. Harnessed by the right Archduke, this pyromancy could blast away the frozen Tomb from around your body and keep it at bay long enough for you to impose your will upon your enemies. I would gladly harness such power to your benefit. I know that you have been trading divine energy to Mephistopheles so that the current Lord of Cania can make good on his obligations to Old Hoof and Horn. I submit to you, however, that the balance of your debt means that Mephistopheles needs you more than you need him. He is close to defaulting, and therein lies the opportunity we both seek. That is why you should call in your debt and pay back Mephistopheles for his unkindnesses over the millennia. I am appealing to your sense of betrayal here, Levistus. Were I back in charge of Cania, I would leverage the power of Hellfire to free you from your frozen prison as my first priority. Furthermore, I would stand as a stalwart ally, preventing the united front that often meets your schemes and strategies. The gelgulons of Cania grow restless under the merciless heat radiating from the Citadel of Mephistar. Under my command, you would find that rarest of commodities – friendship and loyalty from a fellow Archduke of Hell, instead of the constant stream of indignities heaped upon you by your current crop of peers. I can keep the gelgulons from organizing further – after all, I did so for millennia before the pretender Mephistopheles showed up – and this would doubtlessly ease the situation in Stygia, where you are locked in a Colder War with Geryon. Would you not appreciate the presence of a stalwart ally in this conflict? All I ask is that you take steps to stab Mephistopheles in the back and support me with the legions under your control so that I can take back what is rightfully mine. Do not tarry in your deliberations, Levistus – Mephistopheles has gambled everything on the future, and the future may quickly become the present if he remains unopposed. Only together can we forge a lasting compact - the Frozen Heart of Hell. I eagerly await your decision. Yours, The Rightful Lord of Cania First to His Infernal Majesty Duke of Nessus Rimmon   “Yours succulently?” Siegfiend read aloud. “Ugh.” He shook his horned head. “Interesting. So, my first question is, do we want to send this to Mephistopheles, or do we want to send this to Asmodeus?” Fiendsbane rattled. “How’s that?” Varien asked. “Do we want to give Mephistopheles a head’s up that Levistus is plotting with Rimmon against him, so that Mephistopheles will go mess up Levistus on our behalf? Or, do you want to snitch on both of them to the Big Bad Asmodeus, and have him crack both of their skulls?” Siegfiend asked. “What’s stopping Asmodeus from just cracking our skulls if we go there?” Varien said. “As it happens, I kind of wanted to-” “We don’t have to go to him,” Siegfiend replied. “I have a spell that might allow us to send this parcel of papers by post.” “Okay, but I don’t really care about helping an archfiend,” Varien said. “Let’s just go kill the guys.” “We’re not helping them,” Siegfiend reasoned. “We’re siccing them on your enemies.” “I do see your point, I guess.” “A house turned against itself is disunified and disorganized,” Siegfiend said. “If Levistus has to deal with Mephistopheles on his neck, it’s easier for you to sneak into his house and kill him.” “Yeah, true,” Varien mused. “And if he’s occupied he can’t turn his attention onto the Material Plane and continue to hurt innocent people because he’s having to deal with his own internal problems in Hell.” “Okay, so do we think it’s a better idea to stake Mephistopheles on Levistus, then, if he’s the weaker one, so to speak? A more fair, longer fight?” “Mephistopheles is stronger than Levistus, but he owes Levistus money. Or souls, whatever,” Siegfiend said. “But also it’s more personal for Mephistopheles, however, Mephistopheles is more motivated to act immediately while Asmodeus would likely play a longer game to take them both out. I think if we send this all as-is to Mephistopheles with a “hey, you owe us a favour,” it could work to our advantage. Because devils pay their debts, one way or another.” “We can send it “with love,” or “with disdain,” if Fiendsbane prefers,” Siegfiend continued. “It would give Mephistopheles an opening to attack Levsistus through his back channels, knowing his back channels are about to be compromised. Mephistopheles won’t do anything out of gratitude to us, but to keep his own neck safe.” He turned to Air Marshal Zuvok. “What do you make of this, Air Marshal?” Zuvok’s eyes had widened as the letters had been read out. “I usually leave the devil’s business to the devils,” she said. “But there was no love lost between Rimmon and Mephistopheles, I can tell you that. He’s exiled, isolated, turning to mercenary work with a fraction of the forces at his command, rather than bow and scrape at Asmodeus’s hooves. He felt betrayed, his loyalty to Asmodeus counting for nothing in the end. I was, until recently, attached to Rimmon’s outfit while he performed a task as part of our contractual arrangement at my behest.” “What was the task?” Varien asked. Air Marshal Zuvok gestured in the direction of the command deck’s viewing windows. “Decimating the forces you see before you, carving a path of destruction to allow Maglubiyet’s forces to breach the WestWall and flood this cube with spirit legions, crushing the orcs beneath boot and tread. Thus tipping the balance in this eternal conflict. “Siegfried, how big do you think the explosion would be if we were to just launch this ship down at them?” Varien asked. Siegfiend shook his head. “I mean, not big enough to harm the cube.” “You think?” Varien replied. “No, the cube’s much bigger than the ship,” Seigfiend said. “Besides, we need this ship to get us to the King of Many-Arrows and then Gruumsh himself.” “I thought we could just use wind walk?” Varien asked. Siegfiend gestured at the finery around them. “I don’t wanna! And also, we don’t know the way. Plus, this is an afterlife, man. This might even be my afterlife.”   Varien recalled what he knew about Mephistopheles. G reatest of all wizards was dark Mephistopheles, Master of Hellfire and Most Unmerciful, Great Dethroner and first among The Serpent’s subjects, and yet these grand accolades were but a paltry shard of what his intellect and ambition merit, stymied as he has been by conspiracy and sabotage at every turn. Mephistopheles is Lord of the Eighth, and rules the frostchoked wastes of Cania with an indifference befitting that bleak and ruinous plane. Few, even among the ranks of devilkind, can tolerate the plane’s relentless cold, with the exception of gelugons, its most prominent denizens. It is said that Mephistopheles himself created the so-called ice devils, modeled off of a troop of unlucky mezzoloths that came into his possession. The archdevil Mephistopheles was one of the commonest of warlock patrons in eras past, though his influence on the prime material has waned somewhat in recent years as more and more of his attention has been consumed by his magical research. This newfound and reckless obsession is centered on an arcane force he calls “Hellfire”, a fearsome and unruly power which can burn ice and steel and void alike, which perhaps could unseat even the dread divine who holds his reins. This has produced something of a sea change in the hells, as devils of all stripes covertly carve pieces from the Dark One’s neglected soul holdings, and the hells’ deific denizens move to stifle the fearsome flame that burns in Cania. Perhaps the most ambitious and reckless of the Lords of the Nine, Mephistopheles has several times attempted to dethrone Asmodeus, even briefly attaining a shard of godhood in the process. In each of his attempted revolts, Mephistopheles has been thwarted by sudden misfortune or betrayal, and in their wake Asmodeus’ power has been further consolidated, with Mephistopheles’ confederates left crippled and cursed, while he always seems to escape the worst of The Serpent’s vengeances. Mephistopheles ruled from the citadel Mephistar, and all through the plane of Cania, Mephistar can be felt, a tower of iron and carved ice sprouting from a titanic roving glacier, with a trail of uncontained hellfire spreading across the snow in its wake and clouds of choking pollution raining toxic fallout for miles around. The citadel swelters with the heat of unchecked magic, its once-beautiful gardens and sculptures of carved ice requiring constant attention to keep from melting. In the 99-story School of Hellfire, slave-mages beyond counting toil night and day to refine purer and purer distillations of Hellfire, all while ceaselessly plotting against one another to climb the ranks of the Dark One’s favour. Perhaps uniquely among archdevils, Mephistopheles is known to take certain non-evil mages into his service as warlocks, granting them great power to do with as they will that he might more rapidly test his more temperamental spell creations, even while allowing the possibility of the mage retaining their soul. “He’s in it for the love of the game,” Siegfiend said. “So we could send this to him saying you’re about to have another setback, Levistus is coming for your neck so get your house in order. That will set the second-most powerful archdevil after Levistus, which is a hell of a distraction against for him and his forces, pun definitely intended.” Varien knew that to the Cold Lord Mephistopheles, power was the only true goal in life. He yearned to rule over the entire multiverse, and holds absolute confidence, perhaps even correctly, that with proper scheming his plans will eventually fall into place. From his constant manipulations and schemes, Mephistopheles, even by the standard of a devil, has no allies. If he is aware of another's existence, Mephistopheles finds some way to manipulate them for his greater plans. As such, Mephistopheles' greatest enemy is not an angel or any hero. Instead, his greatest threat is other devils and deceivers, such as his lord and master Asmodeus, the god of devils and supreme ruler of the Nine Hells. While swearing absolute and eternal loyalty to Asmodeus, every second of every day Mephistopheles spends thinking on ways to usurp the god of devils. So confident in his eventual taking of Asmodeus' throne, Mephistopheles even told Asmodeus directly that he will, one day, rule the Nine Hells, a statement which was in of itself no doubt a carefully planned piece of a greater plot. Siegfiend handed Zuvok the contract. “I have no need to hold this over you. I’d much rather we work together out of mutual interest.” The Air Marshal accepted the document with thanks and nodded curtly. “So, Varien. Do we send this to Mephistopheles?” Siegfiend asked. “You do as you think is best, Siegfried,” Varien replied. Siegfiend clapped a claw to his forehead. “One flaw in my plan, Varien – I need to have met the recipient before in order to send the message.” He frowned and then turned to Zuvok. “If I wanted to send a message to an archdevil, what’s the best way to do that?” Zuvok looked thoughtful. “Oh, that’s interesting,” she says. “One would imagine that the archdevils have their eyes and ears everywhere in the Lower Planes, including aboard this very vessel, even though the gelugon legions were chosen for their loyalty. However, Rimmon and I have spent much time together on this campaign, sharing drinks and speaking mostly of tactics, but when he was in the right mood he would speak of Cania, where he once held sway as Lord of the Eighth. He was always plotting his return, and spoke often of his ‘return ticket,’ so to speak, reascending the throne of the Eighth Layer of Hell.” “Because there’s no cure for stupidity,” Siegfiend said. “Well, when you think the forces of right and righteousness are on your side, the first thing to get punted out the airlock is your sense of strategy, tactics, and objectivity,” Air Marshal Zuvok said. “Now, he spoke of an amulet, that some Thayan lich had crafted for him, what was that lich’s name? He said it was one of his co-conspirators who had dealt with the lich directly…now what was the co-conspirator’s name? Ah! Baazka! Yes, Baazka had acted as intermediary, securing the amulet for him. I believe Baazka had made good and delivered it – Rimmon did get visitors from other planes from time to time – and so if it’s here, it’s in his vault, in his private quarters.” “We should check out that vault,” Siegfiend said. Varien nodded in agreement. “Yes, yes,” Zuvok said, her eyes scanning her contract hungrily. “It’s located in his private quarters elsewhere on this deck.” Her head snapped up. “Oh! Speaking of drinks, I believe I had offered you one.” She pointed to an ostentatious sideboard complete with polished marble bar and a cabinet of blood-varnished Baatorian wood with infernal ironwork. The bar’s cabinets were open to reveal dozens of ice-cold chalices, glasses and goblets, each of exquisite beauty and exotic provenance, each of them filled with what looked at first glance to be a coloured frozen beverage. Keeping the drinks chilled was a block of Stygian ice placed deep within the liquor cabinet. There were two chairs flanking the sideboard, each studded with rusty sharp nails instead of cushions. Siegfried scanned the drinks with his truesight , wondering if the beverages were in fact souls. “Those aren’t drinks,” Siegfiend said aloud. “Those are memories.” Air Marshal Zuvok nodded. “Some drink to forget, but Rimmon was fond of drinking to remember.” “Frozen memories?” Siegfiend asked. “Rimmon’s tastes are quite refined, indeed. I’ll take a rain check on that drink for now.” He noticed that there was a small side-chamber off the ready room to the east and investigated it. The room was small, much like a closet, and its only notable feature was a three-foot cube of infernal iron with a three-digit combination lock on its front face. Siegfried considered asking Air-wen to use his gaseous form to check out the lock mechanism from within, but quickly concluded that the druid was likely to screw him over no matter how nicely he asked. He cracked his knuckles and prepared to crack the safe with his thieves’ tools and guile. The block was heavy and stuck fast to the deck, likely with sovereign glue . The three-digit combination lock was the focus of his attention. Now, if I were an archdevil and needed a three-digit number, what would I choose? The answer came to him with a fiendish flash. He carefully checked the lock for traps and then rotated the dial to 6-6-6. There was a soft click and a hiss and the safe door opened.