Congratulations! You are not the chosen heroes of prophecy—you are the things they keep kicking down doors to kill. Tired of being stabbed, fireballed, and looted for pocket change, a group of monsters has decided enough is enough. Starting from a drafty little cave that barely counts as a lair, you’ll band together to fortify your home, recruit other misunderstood creatures, and turn your humble home into a proper stronghold. Along the way, you’ll deal with overeager adventurers, questionable coworkers, and the eternal problem of “who left the spike trap unarmed?” Maybe, just maybe, if you survive long enough, you can figure out how to stop heroes from showing up uninvited—and finally enjoy your treasure in peace. System: D&D 3.5, with some homebrew rules Time: Negotiable. I am US East Time zone. Players: 4-8, new players welcome. Setting: Homebrew Tone: Light, Comical, Offbeat Mechanics: Base Building, Tower Defense, Recruiting Monsters If you are interested in playing comment below or send me a message.