Confounding Malice

Turmoil has engulfed the Free Cities. The taxation of trade routes to Outer Rim star systems is in dispute. Hoping to resolve the matter with a blockade of deadly City-Ships, the greedy Corporate Sector has stopped all shipping to the small planet of Nanth'ri. This system is a critical trade corridor between the core-bound J4 Union and Hutt Space on the Outer Rim. While the Presidential Assembly and the Council of Hundred endlessly debate this alarming chain of events, the Union President has secretly recruited two Priests of Mazda, guardians of peace and justice in the galaxy, to settle the conflict... *** "I have a bad feeling about this," Smc'kaiba mutters to his partner, scratching the green fur of one pointed, furry ear. "What? I'm still going through our inventory," replies Slucas, twitching as he shrugs to adjust his rusty brown hood, glowing eyes shining from within. "How much cash-" "Union-Credits." "Whatever. How much did we get paid?" "Uh... 250 each." "Hmmm. We can't even afford blasters." "Nope." "So what can we afford?" "There's slug throwers. We can get one of those each." "I suppose they'll have to do." "They're lame though, we should have blasters..."

Several hours later... Smc'kaiba and Slucas sit in a conference room aboard the Corporate Sector capital ship. The vessel is leading a small fleet of City-Ships blockading Nanth'ri, but their arrival was handled relatively friendlily. Those of the Free Cities do, after all, hold the mazdan faith in high regard. Nevertheless, they have been kept waiting for some time now. Smc'kaiba yawns. "Right, so who are we supposed to kill?" "We're just here to negotiate..." grumbles Slucas. "I can't negotiate with a slug thrower! I need a blaster..." the Squib huffs in return. The doors to the conference room abruptly slide open, and both suddenly sit upright to their full, though not especially impressive heights. "I am TC-14, a protocol droid. Please wait just a little longer and the corporate delegation will be with you shortly." The priests relax. "That's what you said an hour ago," Slucas snaps back. "Don't waste your time - it's just a butler." Smc'kaiba tells his friend tiredly. "It is an honour to have two such illustrious representatives of Mazda on board," the droid continues. The priests roll their eyes and the droid leaves them to wait alone yet again.

Smc'kaiba looks up. "Say, what do you say we search the place for anything valuable?" Suddenly the pair hear a loud explosion. Jumping to their feet they draw their weapons as the room begins to fill with smoky gas. Both hold their breath and begin to communicate using sign language. Slucas searches for an exit, but the gas fills the room, obscuring their vision. {I'm going to kill that butler robot.} Smc'kaiba signs and fires a blind shot into the smoke out of frustration. {This is getting us nowhere,} answers Slucas. {We should get our ship to blast us free.} {You mean our ship that almost certainly just exploded?} {Is that what it was? Okay, let's take over this ship.} Slucas looks futiley around for the door again, then cocks his head. {I hear voices outside.} "Guards, bling out the bodies!" {What sort of stupid accent was that?} Smc'kaiba laughs. {Sjapanese?} {Are they samurai or something?} {What?} {Never mind...} They hear the metallic sound of feet clicking on the floor ahead. { There's that stupid butler robot!} {Attack!}

As the pair emerge out of the smoke into the corridor they find themselves confronted by a squad of a dozen corporate soldiers, each armed with a pulse laser rifle. They seem completely outnumbered and outgunned, with no chance of escape. "Lay down your weapons and-" one begins. "Attack!" Smc'kaiba shouts. "What?!" Slucas cries incredulously. "We attack!" "-but-" The squib fires a lucky shot at the front most soldier, hitting him right between the eyes and sending him slumping to the ground. "They have pulse lasers! All we have are these dinky slug throwers!" Slucas says exasperatedly, leaping to the side to avoid the inevitable hail of laser fire. "We have no defences!" The soldiers open fire. "We're screwed!" The Jawa adds. Smc'kaiba raises his hand straight at the squad to reveal a small black device in the centre of his palm. Suddenly a blue energy shield erupts across the corridor in front of the two priests and deflects all of the soldier's fire back at them. They collapse to the ground, dead. "Where did you get that?!?!" Slucas shouts, half annoyed, half elated. "Swiped it from the Union," Smc'kaiba answers with a shrug, tossing the burnt-out device aside. "Let's take all the rifles," he continues with a wicked grin.

The two small 'ambassadors' hurry through the stark corridors of the corporate city-ship, eventually reaching the large, dark door to the bridge. It is closed. "They've sealed the door to the bridge!" Smc'kaiba exclaims. "Cover me, I'll cut through it with my fusion cutter," Slucas answers, rummaging through the tool-kit on his utility belt. As Slucas begins, blast doors seal over the bridge entrance with a resounding clunk. "Agh, these are ten times thicker. This will take forever." "This is too easy..." murmurs Smc'kaiba, glancing around warily. A rumbling can be heard in the distance, growing closer and closer and then a pair of assault troopers in heavy powered armour burst around the corner. Smc'kaiba fires a shot from his slug thrower, but it just ricochets off of the thick armour plating. The troopers raise their heavy gauss cannons. "Run away!" The squib grabs his jawa friend by the neck of his cloak and the pair make their escape with surprising speed.

"Boy, lucky for us these city ships have small-sized laundry-chutes." Smc'kaiba observes. "It's a ventilation-duct." Slucas grumbles back looking around, trying to work out where they are. "Then why doesn't it have any connecting passages?" Eventually the laundry-chute/ventilation-duct opens out onto a hangar deck. Thousands of soldiers are arrayed in formation next to troop dropships. "This must by where the laundry-ship parks on pick-up day," mutters Smc'kaiba. "It looks like the Corporate Sector is sending an invasion fleet down to the planet." Slucas observes. "There's no time to lose. We need to split up and sneak aboard troop carriers." "Wouldn't it be better to stay in orbit together, and deal with the leaders?" "We should do what they least expect." Smc'kaiba disagrees, nodding sagely as though he completely knows what he's doing. Slucas sighs and shakes his head.

A hatch opens in the back of a landing craft and Smc'kaiba tumbles out onto the soil of Nanth'ri. The dropships are releasing repulsor transports laden with troops. All around native wildlife stampedes before them. The squib gets up and starts running, dodging and weaving left and right to avoid being trampled. Suddenly, he sees an alien standing in the way of the stampede and, unable to stop, runs head-first into it, knocking both to the ground. A fortuitous coincidence, as moments later a transport flies straight over them, allowing both the corporate army and the stampede to pass them by. "Well met, friend alien," Smc'kaiba announces awkwardly, dusting himself off. "What is your name?" Now that he has the time to take a close look, Smc'kaiba can clearly see that this 'alien' is in fact a mon calamari. "Bounjour, mon ami! My name is Sarmand," announces the mon cal, bowing deeply before Smc'kaiba. Suddenly, Slucas emerges from dense undergrowth, pursued by scouts on hover-bikes. Smc'kaiba draws his laser rifle. Slucas is ducking and jumping, forcing them to dodge the trees, presumably how he kept ahead of them for the last mile. They fire at him, but he dodges and they swing to fire at Smc'kaiba, who tosses another rifle to Sarmand and takes cover behind a tree. Seconds later the tree is reduced to a smoking stump. One of the hover-bikes abruptly explodes, and across the forest Slucas can be seen, having finally had a chance to get out his laser rifle. He melodramatically blows non-existent smoke from the muzzle and quickly relocates for his next shot. Smc'kaiba thanks Mazda for his brother's fine marksmanship and heads for new cover as he dodges fire, only to hear the second bike explode. Turning, he sees the mon cal holding the rifle to his shoulder with a grin. Turns out he's not a bad fighter either.

Slucas hurries up to Smc'kaiba. "I decided to come and look for you, since we failed to make any arrangements while on the ship together." "Indeed. Sarmand, are there any humans on this planet?" "Bien entendu, mon ami." "Who's their leader," interrupts Slucas. "Er majesté Queen Skatya iz a fair and wise ruler." "Sounds like the person we want to talk to," concurs Smc'kaiba. "Ze iz fourteen, all ze people voted for er." "Hmmm..." Slucas ruminates dubiously. "Excellent! Where does she live?" Smc'kaiba continues. "Ooh, on ze other side of ze planet." "Right," says Slucas. "So the people have elected a wise queen, who is fourteen years old , and the Corporate Sector, planning to take over Nanth'ri, have landed their entire invasion fleet on the opposite side of the planet ." "Clearly a ploy to gain the advantage of surprise." Smc'kaiba states as though it were obvious. "They're more cunning than we thought..."

Slucas sighs. "We need to avoid the invasion force and find this Queen, but she's on the other side of the planet." The priests start walking away from the army. Soon enough they come across a shoreline. "We need some form of transport..." considers Smc'kaiba. "Sarmand, any ideas?" "Ah will take you to ze city of my people under ze water," he answers with a proud grin. "Cool!" Slucas and Smc'kaiba exclaim in unison. "Lead on," adds Smc'kaiba, rummaging around in his utility belt. "Ah, here we go: underwater oxygen extraction apparatus - look, I've got two of them." "Right," says Slucas with a smile, gladly taking one. "Let's go." Wading into the water the three head under to the hidden city of the Mon Calamari.

The city itself is a vast collection of shining orbs, each filled with air and the glistening lights of civilisation. The trio descend to an entry platform and mass through an energy field that sheds most excess water from them, leaving them only mildly damp. Smc'kaiba stamps his feet. "Still a bit squidgy..." He looks up to find a shock spear pointed in his face. They seem to have attracted the attention of the city guard. "Sarmand! Why did you bring zese outsiders here? You know zey are not allowed." "Captain, my deepest apologies..." "Zere'll by trouble for zis." "...but we can use zem for food?" "Ah! Excellent thinking, Sarmand. Our fish supplies are running low." Slucas quickly interrupts. "Sadly, captain, our flesh is poisonous to your kind." "Time for some diplomacy," mutters Smc'kaiba to his companion. "Captain," Slucas begins, before Smc'kaiba can say anything more. "With respect, we come as ambassadors. There is a corporate army invading your planet. Humans and Mon Calamari must unite or both will perish." "Hmm. Very well," answers the captain, "you may present our case to our leader." "Oh. Huh." Smc'kaiba says. "I meant laser rifle diplomacy." "I know," replies Slucas, rolling his eyes.

The trio are brought before Admiral Pete, the heavily overweight leader of the Nanth'ri Mon Calamari. "Sarmand, what are you doing back ere?" "My liege, I have helped these small ones escape," Sarmand responds bowing deeply. "You ave broken ze no outsiders law. You must be punished." "My liege, you are in danger. I bring a warning." "Danger, Sarmand?" Smc'kaiba interrupts. "Look. A massive corporate army is invading this planet as we speak." "We are not scared of a corporate army. Zere mechs do not function underwater." "Hmm, he has a point," Smc'kaiba acknowledges with a shrug turning to Slucas. "Your turn." "Let me try," answers the Jawa. "Admiral Pete, you and the surface dwellers form a symbiont circle. What happens to one of you will affect the other. You must understand this." "Hmm. I offer a proposal," the admiral begins. "We will let you go, if you find the Lost Orb of Calamari ." "A quest! We accept!" Slucas answers excitedly. "Let's just hope it goes better than whatever we were supposed to do with those samurai trader guys..." snarks Smc'kaiba.

"The Lost of Orb of Calamari?" Slucas enquires, keen for more information. "It's... um... it's... an orb..." Smc'kaiba offers, not really paying attention. "In the mists of time, a great Orb of power was stolen from our city," begins Admiral Pete. "...and it's lost." Smc'kaiba interrupts dryly. "It was a powerful weapon. Wizout it we Mon Calamari must defend ourselves wiz more primitive technologies." "It also protects us from the giant fish," adds Sarmand. "Sounds like at least +3..." Smc'kaiba cogitates. "Sarmand is ze last survivor of a line sworn centuries ago to recover ze Orb." "Most exalted Admiral Pete," Slucas begins, "by Mazda we solemnly pledge our service to helping this worthy quester find the Lord Orb." "For zis task we shall reward you greatly." "We thank you mighty one." Slucas bows as Sarmand has and kicks Smc'kaiba indicating for him to the same. Smc'kaiba grimaces back at him, but does so and then looks around at the other mon cal who have gathered. "Any of you guys seen a lost orb anywhere around here?"

"Hmmm." Slucas considers. "We're still stuck unless they give us some form of transportation." "I told you we should have befriended the local fisherman," replies Smc'kaiba absently, while tinkering with his breathing apparatus. "Maybe we can barter some of those laser rifles for some hover-bikes?" Smc'kaiba looks up and sets down the breather. "Hold on, I've got an idea." Slucas looks worried and dubious, but waits to see how this pans out. Smc'kaiba approaches Admiral Pete's throne. "You want to give us a transport," he says simply. Slucas jaw drops at the audacity of it. "You can ave a bongo to elp you on your way," the Admiral replies and Smc'kaiba simply smiles and walks away. Slucas shakes his head and Smc'kaiba shrugs. "If you want anything in life you've got to just take it and walk out like you own it." "What's a bongo?" "A transport - I hope." "Okay. So how do we reach the Queen?" "Ze fastest way is zrough ze planet core," offers Sarmand helpfully. "Sure, if you can fly through solid rock," retorts Smc'kaiba, rolling his eyes. "No, no! Nanth'ri is a geological anomaly, an enigma to astrophysicists, much like Naboo!" Sarmand reassures the squib. "We ave no molten core, only a porous conglomeration of large rocky bodies, permeated by caves and tunnels full of water." "Uh-huh," the pair reply simultaneously, following Sarmand to this transport.

The trio set off through the centre of the planet, guiding their bongo through the deep, dark underwater caves. Suddenly, they feel a shudder! A giant fish is trying to eat the ship! Slucas guns the propeller, hoping to rip its mouth to shreds, but the propeller isn't powerful enough. "Fire the rear weapons!" Smc'kaiba shouts. "There are no rear weapons! Slucas answers. "Well turn around and fire the main weapons!" "There are no weapons at all!" "Zese big fish eat bongos all the time," adds Sarmand a little too happily. Slucas looks at Smc'kaiba condescendingly. "Well, 'Master'. Perhaps you could see your way to telling this monster to go elsewhere?" Sm'ckaiba turns to look at the massive fish out of the rear window. "Uh- begone, foul beast!" It shrugs, briefly, then goes back to eating the bongo. "So we're going to be swallowed and there's nothing we can do," rages Slucas. "It's okay," reassures Sarmand, "ze bongos don't get hurt." "-but-" "We just have to wait a while." Suddenly a bigger fish grabs the fish in its jaws and the smaller one gets let go. "There's always a bigger fish," observes Smc'kaiba sagely.

"Damage report?!" Slucas asks with exasperation. Then with a sad whine the power goes out and the bongo sinks to the ocean floor. "I guess I'll do it the hard way..." he grumbles, finding an access hatch and opening it. "Try opening and closing all the windows," Smc'kaiba yawns. "We are underwater ," points out Sarmand. There's a spark, a click and power is restored. The lights come back on, revealing an enormous monstrous fish! Slucas quickly takes evasive action, but the creature chases them. "Summon Sigger Fish!" Smc'kaiba cries out, his hand outstretched. "...what?" Slucas asks incredulously looking over his shoulder. Suddenly, an even bigger fish appears in their path, jaws wide open. Slucas banks hard to starboard and its jaws barely miss the bongo, clamping onto the other fish. The trio travel for several hours through majestic water filled caverns. The time passes uneventfully, as they pass through the planet's core. Millions of delicate phosphorescent jellyfish illuminate the journey. "Those valuable?" Smc'kaiba asks. "No," answers Slucas simply. The currents take them past intriguing sunken ruins of a forgotten age. "We should search for treasure!" Smc'kaiba adds this time. "The Lost Orb of Calamari could be in there." "Um. The water pressure is insane," replies Slucas. "We need to find the Queen." Eventually, they emerge on the other side of the planet, in a river flowing through the capital city...

Nanth, the capital of Nanth'ri, is a beautiful city of monumental architecture, with verdigris roofed stone buildings lining public squares filled with marble statuary. Still on their bongo on the river, the trio abruptly find themselves confronted with a waterfall! The bongo is drifting towards the edge. "This makes no sense whatsoever," observes Flucas. "The fluid level in any connected system has to be the same." "Wait, I know this," says Smc'kaiba excitedly. "Bernouilli's principle... no... osmosis! No, capillary action! "None of those help! The water should drain out of the tunnel we came up! As they talk they are getting ever closer to the edge. "Power up and dive!" Smc'kaiba instructs. "The bongo won't start. We're out of power." "Ohlala! How will we escape?" Sarmand adds. "I have something for this," Smc'kaiba mutters to himself, rummaging around in his utility belt once again. "Here! Carbon nanofilament rope and a magneto-grappling hook." He tosses it to a nearby building and the pair climb across to solid ground. "I cannot climb," calls Sarmand from behind them, still aboard the bongo, "but I can swim!" He dives into the water, swimming powerfully against the current behind them to the shore, where the priests help pull him to safety. The bongo falls over the water fall and smashes to pieces. "Hmmm. Well that's that. I guess we go visit the Queen," says Smc'kaiba. "Good to be back on track," agrees Slucas. "She might give us another boat. So we can go check those ruins."

Unfortunately the corporate army has beaten the trio to the city. "How did they manage that from the other side of the planet?" Slucas wonders. "They probably took a shortcut," suggests Smc'kaiba confidently. "Let's just get to the royal palace..." The palace is by now surrounded by troops. "Let's attack!" Smc'kaiba exclaims with gusto. "Do you want the whole army to attack us?" "Imagine the loot!" "We can sneak in, I know a way," adds Sarmand helpfully. "Good idea," says Slucas, relieved, "let's go." The trio reach a balcony, where they see the Queen and her retinue being led away by soldiers. "I could cast Summon Bigger Fish?" Smc'kaiba offers. "What?" Slucas asks incredulously. "Oh wait, no... that'd just be wrong. "I concur." "It'd stink up the palace for a week. Then she'd never give us a new boat!"

The two priests leap from the balcony, with Sarmand tumbling awkwardly behind them. He clings to the parapet swinging precariously as the pair rapidly blast the soldiers escorting the Queen and her compatriots. "Queen Skatya, I presume," begins Slucas, bowing extravagantly. "You must be the ambassadors," answers an ageing grey-haired man besides her. "I'm Governor Sthesing Ulvaud, the Queen's trusted advisor." "Advisor?" Smc'kaiba murmurs aside to Slucas. "Hmmm. He has a goatee too. We have to keep an eye on him." "We need to get to safety," Ulvaud continues. Smc'kaiba follows him, cautiously, expecting a double cross. Meanwhile the queen's guards gather the fallen soldier's weapons. "Hey!" Smc'kaiba calls out. "We killed them! Get your own loot!"

"The Corporate Sector were here to sign a trade treaty with us," explains Ulvaud, "but now for some reason they're attacking like they were provoked into attacking. What happened with your negotiations?" "The negotiations... uh... never took place," Smc'kaiba dismisses. "(Who's the Corporate Sector again,)" he quietly asks Slucas aside. "Those samurai guys from before." "Oh." "You've seen them before?" Sarmand enquires. "No, we um... insulted their hospitality, then attacked their security, then tried to break into their bridge, then stowed away on their dropships." Slucas explains reluctantly. "So not friends?" "Not anymore." "Let's not mention this to the Queen, okay?" Smc'kaiba suggests. "Good idea, Priest of Mazda," states Queen Skatya dryly.

"Thank you for joining our fight for freedom," begins Ulvaud. "The first step is to-" "Have you seen the Lost Orb of Calamari?" Smc'kaiba interrupts. "We have some intelligence about that, which we'd be happy to share once you've earned our trust. "Right... (He's going to betray us the first chance he gets.)" "The first stage of this campaign should be to infiltrate-" Smc'kaiba waves his hand in the air in front of Ulvaud's face. "Look here, Goatee-boy, where's the Orb?" Ulvaud's eyes glaze over. "Tund. Councillor Gorski on Tund has information about it." "Can we get transports?" "Yes this way," indicates the captain of the royal guard.

The group hurries off to the hangar. "-but our planet is blockaded!" Ulvaud protests. "Look! Our ships and pilots have been captured!" "You must help Us in Our fight for justice on Nanth'ri," adds the Queen. "Priests of Mazda would not do less." "However, no Priest of Mazda can turn away from a prior quest already accepted," apologises Slucas. "We must recover the Orb." "You must stay here," Ulvaud continues. "The Queen needs protection." "She can come with us," Smc'kaiba shrugs. "Then we'll accompany you to Tund as well," insists the Sakiros, the guard captain. "You're not joining our party if you're going to ninja our loot all the time," replies Smc'kaiba. "I will not abandon my charge to guard the Queen." "Fine, but we're not taking Ulvaud. That goatee is a death sentence."

"We're not going anywhere unless you can free the pilots," Sakiros points out. "We should be able to sneak behind the soldiers," replies Slucas. "I have a better idea," says Smc'kaiba simply, striding ahead. He marches straight up to one of the soldiers. "State your business," it orders. "Let these men go. We're taking them to Tund." "Under what authority?" "Don't you recognise me? I'm your commander!" "...my commander is much taller than you." "I'm undercover." "What is your serial number?" "It's... uh..." Smc'kaiba draws his weapon and he and Slucas blast them. "I don't know about 'better'," says Slucas, "but it was certainly more entertaining."

"This is surprisingly easy, given we're defending forty-odd unarmed pilots from dozens of combat trained soldiers," Slucas observes over the noise of the fire fight. "Well of course," answers Smc'kaiba as though it were obvious. "They're not going to risk hitting their evil traitor leader Ulvaud." "He's not even in the hangar, he's waiting outside." "Ah, directing his forces." "The troops must be ordered not to shoot anywhere near the Queen. They obviously need her alive." "I wonder how much she's worth to them?" As the last of the soldiers falls, Smc'kaiba turns and shouts. "Hey Ulvaud, what are you offering?" "There could be reinforcements," Slucas points out. "Let's go." "This way!" Sarmand calls. "Yeah, hurry up," says Smc'kaiba. "I need to shut the door before Ulvaud can get on board."

The ship turns out to be the royal yacht, luxuriously fitted out for the Queen and her retinue, the pride of the Nanth'ri fleet. Smc'kaiba searches the ship for the Lost Orb of Calamari, but the only things of value seem to be wardrobes full of the Queen's costumes. Meanwhile, one of the rescued pilots has powered up the ship. "Hey, get way from there!" Smc'kaiba cries. "This is our ship! We found it!" "I'm the ship's pilot." "Oh... sorry. You'll be taking your orders from me then. Blast off!" The ship leaves the hangar and rapidly accelerates into space, towards the Corporate Sector blockade. "We'll easily be able to blast our way through in this baby!" Smc'kaiba seems satisfied. It doesn't last long. "Actually, the ship has no weapons," Sakiros informs him. "Don't any ships on this planet have weapons?" Slucas asks frustratedly. "Sure, the blockade ships have plenty."

A battalion of giant city ships rears up ahead. "Go straight through," Smc'kaiba tells the pilot confidently. "They won't shoot the Queen." "They're shooting!" "Holy Mazda! You're right! They must not know she's on board. Quick, Slucas, get the Queen to wave out the window!" "We've taken damage!" "This is the pride of the Nanth'ri fleet. Surely it has shields of some sort." "More precisely: the shield generator's been damage," the pilot continues. "Another hit and we're dead." "Jist brainstormin' haur," comes the voice of a decidedly space-scottish chadra-fan mechanic from behind the visor of a space suit, "but hoo abit Ah gang it an' fix th' ship?" "Going outside would be incredibly dangerous," begins Slucas dismissively, "besides, other mechanics are already on that." "Aam pure hardcair. brin' it oan," the small bat-like alien answers, jumping into an exit tube and jettisoning itself onto the hull. He sets up besides a group of other mechanics, frantically trying to bring the shields back online. The one working besides him is hit and blown into space. "Dornt hauld back, cheil!" The one working on his other side suffers the same fate. "Aam th' best mechanic thes side ay th' unknoon regions."

"That little tech did it," exclaims the pilot. "The shield is back online!" "Thenk ye fur th' commentary, wee cheil," the mechanic answers. "Quick, let's get out of here," adds Slucas. "The shield generator is 23% damaged," reports the pilot, "but otherwise we're okay." "Hmm. We should stop for repairs." "We can still make it to Tund." "No," Smc'kaiba countermands, "we'll be sitting ducks. We have to fit the ship with some weapons. What's the nearest system?" "Uh, Uogo'cor. An inhospitable, dusty planet with no surface water, ruled by pirates." "Cool! Weapons should be cheap there." "Uogo'cor is ruled by pirates!" Sakiros repeats. "You can't take her royal highness there." "Ye ken, Ah can fix th' shields, an' build some weapons frae scrap metal," the mechanic chirps, but nobody listens. "We should also gather some information about Tund before we go there," adds Slucas. "It could be dangerous." "Tund is a jewel of the Free Cities! It's one of the most civilised planets in the galaxy. Uogo'cor is a lawless backwater." Sakrios objects once more. "Sounds perfect," Smc'kaiba announces happily. "Weapons, rumours, everything we need."

A short while later, safely in hyperspace, the priests and mechanic are brought before the Queen. "Queen Skatya," begins Sakiros, "this pair of mazdan priests have saved us and the ship." "Of course we saved our ship." Smc'kaiba mutters, rolling his eyes. "Ahem. ye pure techt Ah saved th' ship," the mechanic interjects. "It was a team effort." "An extremely skilled little tech," Sakiros finishes, cutting them off sharply. "He is to be commended," answers the Queen. "You have our thanks." "Fur mah reward, Ah wish tae be cleaned an' oiled by yer most bonnie handmaiden." The queen seems to be having trouble understanding the accent. "Your Highness," Slucas begins, "Skodahk says thanks are unnecessary. He was merely following orders." "Dornt bortha beggin' me fur help next time!" "Very well. Your Highness, I misinterpreted this filthy little chadra-fan. He wishes to be cleaned and oiled by your most beautiful handmaiden." "To business," says the Queen. "We are taking Our ship to Tund so We may talk with the Council of Hundred." "Actually, we're going to Uogo'cor first," corrects Smc'kaiba. "I disagree with the Priests on this matter," adds Sakiros. "Queen Skatya," Slucas begins diplomatically, "we are in danger from Corporate Sector pursuit. To ensure your safety, we need to upgrade the ship." "Guns." Smc'kaiba specifies. "And stronger shields." "And more guns. Really big guns." "Very well," assents the Queen. "We grant you a day to find such parts as you can afford."

"There's Uogo'cor," announces the pilot as the royal yacht drops out of hyperspace. "There's a settlement on scanners." "Land outside the town," Smc'kaiba instructs. The ship touches down on a flat, parched plain, bare of vegetation. "Let's head into town in search of weapons for the ship," says Smc'kaiba. "Bring Skodahk. We need him to assess the parts." "Fine," Slucas replies, "I'll stay on the ship and enjoy the air conditioning." "We can't split up!" "We're charged with guarding the Queen." "By th' end ay th' day, Ah hiner tae be charged wi' blooter'd an' disorderly." Skodahk adds. "The ship could be attacked," repeats Slucas. "Hmm. Good Point." Smc'kaiba agrees. Smc'kaiba, Sarmand and Skodahk set out across the trackless wastes towards the city on the horizon. "Wait," comes a cry from Sakiros behind them. "The Queen is curious about this planet. She orders you to take her handmaiden with you." "It could be dangerous," warns Sarmand. "Good point," Smc'kaiba acknowledges. "We should take the Queen herself." "What?" Sakiros asks, confused. "Nobody will shoot at the Queen." "Yeah, 'at worked sae weel lest time..." Skodahk drawls sarcastically. "He's right," agrees Sarmand. "The Queen is... er... not going to go with you." Sakiros shuffles uncomfortably. "Take the handmaiden already." "Oh man! This Queen is a royal pain in the butt." Smc'kaiba complains. "How stupid is she?" "Let's see: (a) she's in th' air-conditionin' while we're it haur in a hostile desert bustin' uir asses tae upgrade 'er ship wi' uir bunsens." "What's (b)?" Sarmand enquires. "Ah hink point (a) is sufficient."