How long must I wait?

How long did it take or how many tries before you found the right group to play with? I have been searching and trying different groups for months and just can't find the right fit. I'd love some advice or even just good old encouragement.

Groups are like pants. Sometimes you can tell right away they aren't a right fit and others, well, they need breaking in time. Wear them around for a while, bend at the knees a bit. Rough em up. See what they are made of. If you are looking for a streamlined way to gather a group, I can offer you some suggestions, but fitting in? No idea. I either play or I don't.

I definitely will take the suggestions for gathering a group because I can't seem to find many that are looking for another player. 

When listing an even or a new campaign, be very specific about what you want, what you expect and what can be expected of you: "If you are a DM that is into ROLEplaying and less into ROLLplaying, state that." "If you are more into storytelling, character's effecting their world and not running hack and slash combat scenarios, state that." "Non-standard races or characters you have created on your own without learnign how I do things are not going to work." "If you don't like elves or have an aversion to playing an all elf party, you need not apply." or: Races allowed: Standard races only Attendance: If you are not going to be able to make the session, please inform me as soon as possible. Two skipped session and you are out. My DMing Style:  I like rich backgrounds for my world and I want them for the PCs as well. We will work together to fit your ideas in my world. Character Creation:  I have a set of guidelines I will have for you if you are interested, but it is mainly by the book. Know what kinds of players you will and won't be running a game for: "If powergaming and building the greatest broken character the rules can possibly support is your thing, you need not apply." "If you can't make it to the game, let me know before hand or you will be cut from the game. Emergencies exempt from this rule." "If you don't think you can make the schedule for nearly every session, this isn't the game for you."

Sorry you're having trouble finding a group for a longer campaign. As I would like to have you in my group, Jen, I think it would be a great fit style wise, but as we tested out, our current play time wasn't going to work (we were too early on a weekday). Just to help with personal anecdotes, it took me some time and trial and error too. It took me several weeks after I joined Roll20 to find any games to "join" and that was mystifying to me at first, how can there be such a popular game website but no games for me to join? Later I understood that's just part of the natural process since, although there are 1000's of games happening at any given time, most of those games are full and happy, leaving only a small percentage of current games who might offering an open spot, and of course those spots fill quickly.  Next, I joined a game, to make a long story short I joined and dropped from a few games (litany of various reasons on my side or theirs) for several months before I found a longer fit. Now the epic conclusion of this story!! I'm a player in Tyler's 2E game that has been going for 2 years (as of next month, the game's birthday in September) and we are around 7th level. My other campaign I'm a DM and we have surpassed 6 months of play, the PC's are around 4th-5th level now. It can be done. Even my 2 most-solid long-term games have had some Player turnover and churn, but with a core of Players who take interest in the game style & times the Dungeon Master is offering. So don't set expectations TOO high (for the perfect long term group that nobody drops out), but set your expectations for making yourself compatible with the DM, setting, method of 2E, and the group. If any advice from this, moral of the story is be persistent, be patient, be clear of your interests (but be sure to remain flexible on non-essential preferences, so you can bend yourself a bit on some little house rules a DM might have that are new to you). Listen closely to anything the DM says/types or read between the lines, do your best to discern the gameplay style and find offerings that seem to fit, based on any indicators about the game/DM. Narrow it down to the ones that fit your time slot. I know it's ironic I'm saying narrow it down when you are looking for MORE options, but the point is to find a matching fit for yourself. Keep looking because it might be 5-6 times a year that the ideal offering comes up, so you want to be looking on the day that the offer is posted.

Jen said: How long did it take or how many tries before you found the right group to play with? I have been searching and trying different groups for months and just can't find the right fit. I'd love some advice or even just good old encouragement. Hey Jen, Chris and Gold make solid points as I'm sure you can read for your self. I can tell you from personal experience that I was looking for two years before I found my current Sunday Group. Now mind you, it wasn't two years solid searching but it did take some time to find the right "fit". Often you get to meet and hang out with people in the game room when the game isn't going, just take a while and chat, get to know people. The ones that you want to game with will be apparent. So, get in there and network and I'm sure you'll find a group soon enough. Hope this helps Peace --Mike

Ok, I guess I'm going about it the right way, just not giving it enough time. I've jumped in to a few that were obvious right away and another one took several sessions before I realized that the DM's style was not for me. I was like you Gold in that I thought there would be an abundance of options to choose from. And OldSchoolChris, you make some points that I had not been thinking about from the player perscpective, but I can interview the potential DM as well. I feel like it's always me trying to answer their questions, but the truth is that I have some particular wants and I could save us all some time if I just ask up front.

Its always a battle finding the right fit, and once you find i group you like get ready for change. life happens, ppl stop playing for any number of reasons, but life goes on, sometimes you can like a game but their might be someone in it that just annoys you to death, even to the point of thinking why does the DM allow this person to play? its simple, it adds to the game, the unexpected, the annoying, this will never be perfect because ppl come from all walks of life, like ur character. im been playing and DMing since 1979, and im new to this but ive played with over 1000 ppl around the world face to face. i started when i was in germany and ive been all over the united states in the army playing with different ppl. ive played in a game that had 200 ppl in it. was a cool thing to do but wasnt for me. but it helped me grow. something you should remember when looking is that GMs put in tons of work to bring players their game, its because of all this work that you will find more players than GMs. one of the first things i did was look for a game, and every where i looked ppl were asking for a GM to join. so i decided to set up my own game and try to help players out. but this is as hard for us to find what we call good players as well as you to find a good game. i set my total of players to 50, and yes i have ran several games face to face with that many players, so it all depends on what workes for you, i like to build my world based on char stories, but i love to run monsters as well, i like action with story based. sat in a game the other night where it was a lot of story going on and little action. a game last week has tons of action all while standing around going no where and basicly no roleplaying. i suffered thru both games to learn :) hope you find your nitch

Thanks for the responses guys. You make great points. You've definitely encouraged me to keep trying!

It's going to be a bit harder for you as an AD&D player. A lot of people just don't remember or don't want to investigate the mechanics of older D&D. It's culturally very alien to us who grew up on 3.5, let alone Pathfinder or 4e. D&D has become an mmo roleplay. Which in many ways is good, we feel like super heroes, but originally D&D was about combining folklore with dangerous dungeons, if they don't know that going in they're going to be sour. The core of AD&D isn't difficult to understand if you can word things well. Like me, when I skimmed it I was like okay, there's a lot of very specific saving throws that probably will overlapse, but I remember back than they assumed the DM could make a call if he was putting in the time to run a campaign anyway. So he could decide if "a wand of poison" used the wand or poison save table. Rather than modifiers, it rolled equal to or above the "bad luck factor". These flat-lined rolls for attacks and saving throws made a "+1" seem a lot more valuable. Which explains why most classes had so little defining abilities. I'm basically just rambling about how most players and GMs are modern D&D oriented through no fault of their own. But you'll find a group. There's enough of them out there, and you could probably get even newer players on board if you draw them in with not having to learn a bunch of rules and just roll some dice. That's for me personally the biggest setback in being dependable as a player. Is I really don't want to have to learn a new set of rules I'm only going to use once you know?

I'm laughing Jim because you just described my style as a DM. The rules are just a vague guideline or starting point for me. They are there to settle arguments when they are really needed. But if I can play a whole session and never open the rule book, then I feel like it's been an awesome night. I just want to tell a story, have players tell me parts of the story, and then roll a die when they want to do something that is not a given to succeed. That is exactly the group I'm trying to find.

Jen, I think you need to copy that paragraph minus the first sentence and use it as your description of the game you like to play in/run. Straight from the heart, straight to the point!

jen, i know you posted in one of my looking for player posts, unfortunately, it was a few days after i had already accepted a new player into my game. if that slot opens up again i will let you know. i think you would enjoy my campaign world and my gming style, we do text only, it helps me be more verbose in my interactions. but i am loose with the rules and focus more on fun. I try to encourage creative solutions and not just hacking every problem or encounter:) good luck with your search though, and keep trying :)

Jim just hit all the points as to why I don't play 3.5+ versions of AD&D (AKA Magic the gathering RPG). "The characters feel like superheros". AD&D for me was always about being somewhat realistic. As much as it can be in regards to a fantasy setting. Sure you have dragons, mages, gods, and powerful artifacts. But at the end of the day it's about the story of a farm boy growing up to become hero, or a street urchin become a thieves guild master. It's about getting lost in a story and becoming your character, not so much about rolling a ton of dice, and slaughtering legions of orcs (see lord of the rings). Some people like the high adventure route, but that's not why I play. Don't get me wrong, there is room for that in 2nd Edition, and many DM's pull it off. But more often than not these characters are short lived. The rules are set to such a way that unless characters have ridiculous stats, and crazy ass magic items, they will be over run by hordes of mobs. As far as the saving throws are concerned, its not as complicated as you think. They are very specific. If it's a wand you use wand for the save, not both and certainly not poison. A wand is a device, and is always treated as such. I will admit THAC0 can be a pain in the ass. Especially if you start using combat and tactics, combined with a few beers, a bunch of crazy situations that give bonuses and penalties all over the place. But Roll 20 eliminates all of that. Anyway I think I have gotten off the actual OP topic. Chris's post pretty much answered everything. So I'll just add, Jen, be true to yourself, don't change what you want to do to appease the players. That being said you need to let the players know EXACTLY what to expect from you and the campaign before starting. Don't rush things. If you build it, they will come.

Lol, Frank, I think I'm auditioning with your group this coming Tuesday, right? Now I really hope it works out.

Jen said: Lol, Frank, I think I'm auditioning with your group this coming Tuesday, right? Now I really hope it works out. Yey, Wishes do come true! Congratulations on you, hopefully, finding the right "fit" for your gaming needs.

I'm kinda skeptical because it's text only and I think a big part of the game is hearing the laughter and reactions of people, but I'm reserving judgement and giving it a try. (How's that for a runon sentence?)

actually i loved playing face to face, with just a little smug smile from me and they totally would abandon what they were going to do and leave. such an awesome feeling to have that kind of poker face

Hi guys, I just want to post that thanks to all of your great advice, I have found a game that is going great. If you are just reading this, I am no longer actively looking for a weekly game, but I think we should leave this post up because it's full of important information.