Larzamonte Charoux crossed through
the center of the Quarter Deck to the ventral ladder tube, then went up a
flight to the Medical Deck. Dr. Lyireh Ros-Galyin Barek was at her computer
with her feet up on the desk and her headphones on, trying to stave off the
tedium of what passed for work these days with some music.
Making an effort to alleviate her ennui, Charoux said, “How’s my favorite angel of mercy doing? Getting a bit bored of the slow days at the office?”. Her reply was curt and telling. “Yes; yes I am. You all keep doing a perfectly fine job of not getting injured. And these pacifist missions executed just perfectly are leaving me with nothing to do. Frankly, I’ve even run out of paperwork; want to see the form I filled out when someone asked for a bandaid? Because I’m sick of trying to find clever ways to elaborate about the matter.”
Charoux tried hard to contain his inner laughter when he saw the full page of text, but when he saw the white space on the form made a deliberate and near-perfect tracing of a band-aid image, he couldn’t help but crack up. “Oh my, that’s… that’s quite something. So you need something else to do, do you?”, he offered. “By the heavens, yes!”, she exclaimed; “Do you have any more data for me to look at? I’d love to analyze the progress of…”, she continued, before he cut her off. “No, this isn’t about that;”, he replied; “but I do have something new you could help me with.”, he said, sitting down, and preparing to spin a yarn.
“I’ve got some bet going with one of the new Crew. The drunken jerk was going on about just how long exactly this whole penet thing has been going on. Naturally, in order to have a bet, I had a contrary opinion.”. As Charoux paused for a breath, Lyireh interjected; “And what was your opinion?”, she asked. Charoux responded, “Well, now, telling might lead to source bias in getting a properly researched response. We can’t have that!”. Lyireh scowled at Charoux’s wry smile, and said, “You cheat! Making me wait for an answer until you get one first!”. Charoux continued, “So anyway, I figured, as a skilled surgeon with training in Xenobiology, you must have had a Social Sciences professor back at your school on Darrian to help inform your bedside manner.”.
Lyireh crossed her arms and looked aside in annoyance; “So you’re not really here for me at all; you’re here for my contacts. You cad.”. Charoux confessed, “Afraid so. But I’ll give you a cut of the bet if I win, and you can help me drink my loss away if I lose. And, for today, you’ll have a great excuse to write a nostalgic letter to one of your old professors, asking for a nice little study course by mail. Which may prove helpful if one of those zealots out there concoct some sort of obscure culturally inspired injury for one of our guests. And that sort of research is a heck of a lot more productive and a much better way to pass the time than trying to find clever ways to make typographic doodles.”. Lyireh tilted her head and looked up into the corner of her eyes, and said, “Well, you’re right, of course. Fine, I’ll do it. What exactly do you need for this bet?”.
Charoux rattled off a few file names, and then said that anything older on the same subject should be included in the research package. “That should be informative enough to get us a definitive answer, you think?”, he said, finally. “Yes, I concur, with perhaps a few additions here or there. Well, you’ve given me something to do, at least for a while. Do let me know when you get any more data, though; at least that’s a proper challenge.”, she replied. As he turned to take the ladder tube up to the bridge, he affirmed, “Will do.”.
Making an effort to alleviate her ennui, Charoux said, “How’s my favorite angel of mercy doing? Getting a bit bored of the slow days at the office?”. Her reply was curt and telling. “Yes; yes I am. You all keep doing a perfectly fine job of not getting injured. And these pacifist missions executed just perfectly are leaving me with nothing to do. Frankly, I’ve even run out of paperwork; want to see the form I filled out when someone asked for a bandaid? Because I’m sick of trying to find clever ways to elaborate about the matter.”
Charoux tried hard to contain his inner laughter when he saw the full page of text, but when he saw the white space on the form made a deliberate and near-perfect tracing of a band-aid image, he couldn’t help but crack up. “Oh my, that’s… that’s quite something. So you need something else to do, do you?”, he offered. “By the heavens, yes!”, she exclaimed; “Do you have any more data for me to look at? I’d love to analyze the progress of…”, she continued, before he cut her off. “No, this isn’t about that;”, he replied; “but I do have something new you could help me with.”, he said, sitting down, and preparing to spin a yarn.
“I’ve got some bet going with one of the new Crew. The drunken jerk was going on about just how long exactly this whole penet thing has been going on. Naturally, in order to have a bet, I had a contrary opinion.”. As Charoux paused for a breath, Lyireh interjected; “And what was your opinion?”, she asked. Charoux responded, “Well, now, telling might lead to source bias in getting a properly researched response. We can’t have that!”. Lyireh scowled at Charoux’s wry smile, and said, “You cheat! Making me wait for an answer until you get one first!”. Charoux continued, “So anyway, I figured, as a skilled surgeon with training in Xenobiology, you must have had a Social Sciences professor back at your school on Darrian to help inform your bedside manner.”.
Lyireh crossed her arms and looked aside in annoyance; “So you’re not really here for me at all; you’re here for my contacts. You cad.”. Charoux confessed, “Afraid so. But I’ll give you a cut of the bet if I win, and you can help me drink my loss away if I lose. And, for today, you’ll have a great excuse to write a nostalgic letter to one of your old professors, asking for a nice little study course by mail. Which may prove helpful if one of those zealots out there concoct some sort of obscure culturally inspired injury for one of our guests. And that sort of research is a heck of a lot more productive and a much better way to pass the time than trying to find clever ways to make typographic doodles.”. Lyireh tilted her head and looked up into the corner of her eyes, and said, “Well, you’re right, of course. Fine, I’ll do it. What exactly do you need for this bet?”.
Charoux rattled off a few file names, and then said that anything older on the same subject should be included in the research package. “That should be informative enough to get us a definitive answer, you think?”, he said, finally. “Yes, I concur, with perhaps a few additions here or there. Well, you’ve given me something to do, at least for a while. Do let me know when you get any more data, though; at least that’s a proper challenge.”, she replied. As he turned to take the ladder tube up to the bridge, he affirmed, “Will do.”.
Larzamonte Charoux wants to confirm technical details about the history of penet relationships, and is enlisting the ship's doctor citing multiple incentives and mutual benefit. Information from the Julian sector itself may have significant cultural or political bias, so he's looking to the Darrian Confederation instead, thinking they may provide a more neutral opinion on the matter as potentially more objective outsiders with no particular vested interest in the matter. Other objective sources would also be worth looking into.
In the meantime, he has to analyze the data package for authenticity, and also be able to confirm whether or not other apparent copies of this document are more or less legitimate versions, or whether they are merely exact duplicates of this one, and when, if possible, that duplication took place.
