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Inside Kayleb's Head.


Edited 1464422089
Kayleb is an arsehole. I wanted to write this bit about Kayleb for two reasons: I really want to make sure that folks here know that the way I play Kayleb in game is mostly a polar opposite of who I am in real life. I'm sure people here fully understand the difference between being "In Character" and "Out of Character" but even so I thought it'd be good to make it clear. Any offense caused by my character in game is primarily motivated by a hope to increase the fun here, not to annoy or frustrate or to put anyone down.  I thought it'd be cool for people playing characters with Psychology or sophontology skills to know about the things ticking around in this character's head. Knowing why he does what he does and says what he says may help your character push or pull him in certain directions.  The primary characteristics that motivate Kayleb's actions: Intense guilt. Kayleb escaped the poverty of his home world and "made it" among the stars ... sort of. He left behind his community, sibling and maybe some offspring ( He may have some little bastards running about, he's not sure ). The further out of poverty he rises, the more guilt he feels concerning those he left behind. He also suffers intense survivor's guilt - a symptom of his post traumatic stress disorder (outlined bellow). " I'm not a better guy that I should be alive and they be dead. It just feels like K'Tok shite sometimes. " - Quote from the couch. Militaristic Patriotism. Vargr have a strong pack instinct, and for a long time his pack was the Imperial Marine corps. Kayleb holds onto Imperial Ideals such as freedom of thought, Imperial Duty and the Rule of Law with an almost religious fanaticism ... sort of. He interprets Imperial "high law" a little selectively at times. He has a standard Imperial contempt for psionics, robotics, and slavery however. " What are you ladies here for? The pay? Consider our Imperium lads! Bastion of order and freedom in a sea of bloody chaos and tyrrany. Stood for more than a thousand years 'nd it'll stand for thousands more because dumb bastards like you love it enough to put your flesh and blood in between it and the farkers who want to tear it apart. Imperium's more important than our lives are... especially your life Jones you filthy prick. That's why we consider it pure bloody joy to be put into the fark'n grinder to keep her alive! HAIL STREPHON! " - quote from his marine command days.   Kayleb's patriotism and sense of belonging suffered a severe blow when he was discharged. The military dogma is still a deep part of who he is, but it's tainted by feelings of betrayal, guilt, and failure.  (( While serving in the Australian Army I was working with a couple of guys who I've pretty much molded Kaleb off. Both of them were very sharp and professional when on the job. Off base they were totally dysfunctional however. Good blokes, but borderline alcoholic, sexist, racist bastards. )) Post Traumatic Stress Term 2 - lone survivor of a failed op. Trapped alone behind enemy lines. Term 3 - You are on the front lines of a planetary assault and occupation. Term 4 - Severely injured in action. Discharged. Term 5 - Drafted back into the Marines. Barely makes survival roll (in Classic Trav that's a purple heart) Term 6 - Almost killed in action. Once put back together he was discharged a second time. Kayleb's military career has been characterized by tragedy, front line combat and near death. I'd imagine that he has seen plenty of friends die and that he has few surviving friends from his Marine days ( never rolled up an ally or a contact from Marine service ). After looking at his prior career I found it hard to think of anyone going through that and remaining psychologically intact. So I'm trying to play out some symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. Here's a list of some of the actual symptoms of PTS. The bold ones I'm currently bringing into the game. Regular text will probably see some play at some point. The stuff in italics I may leave out. Negative feelings about yourself or other people I nability to experience positive emotions Feeling emotionally numb Lack of interest in activities you once enjoyed Hopelessness about the future Memory problems, including not remembering important aspects of the traumatic event Difficulty maintaining close relationships irritability, angry outbursts or aggressive behavior Always being on guard for danger Overwhelming guilt or shame Self-destructive behavior, such as drinking too much or driving too fast Trouble concentrating Trouble sleeping Being easily startled or frightened
Someone needs to explain this to the Dame that Kayleb rebuffed and/or scorned.  Someone with Psychology.  Also, put it in Gvegh and layman Gvegh at that.  Remember also that she's ethnic, Vargr Extents from Gvurrdon Sector.  She's smart, but not a soldier nor a psychologist.
Additionally, should a PC with the appropriate skills wish to conduct therapy upon Kayleb Groughtk, his player has been feeling out those who can help him. Gevaudan is in a similar but less acute introspective problem brought on by Dr. SIMOne, who accused him of hypocrisy in that he has gone Trans-Vargr from his cybernetics Augments. There are rolls to correctly diagnose, plan a prognosis and then prepare a schedule of therapy.

Edited 1464281855
Sebastien has a 0 in Psych and actually got access to Kayleb's (and Jeff's) military records when they joined, and he's aware of the PTSD. He had intended to mention it to the Management if it became an issue. As of now, however, he's not aware of it being a problem. He's enough of a stickler about confidentiality and such that he won't mention it unless there is a clear and present cause for concern. I don't imagine he's aware of the relationship that never was between the Dame and Kayleb, so he wouldn't butt in there, though he might if he noticed that Qithka seemed really broken up about something.
Well, if you recall, when Kayleb mouthed off at that meeting we were roleplaying off-line, Charoux assigned him to “cultural sensitivity training”; so, after the time that roleplay officially happens, Kayleb should be visiting Hane for one reason or another on a regular basis. The trouble is, I started that thread as some sort of “several weeks from now...” sort of thing, as if it were a leadup to Wypoc, not knowing we’d have this Bowman mess to face... So when does that thread actually happen? ^_^;
Pakkrat said: Someone needs to explain this to the Dame that Kayleb rebuffed and/or scorned.  Someone with Psychology.  Also, put it in Gvegh and layman Gvegh at that.  Remember also that she's ethnic, Vargr Extents from Gvurrdon Sector.  She's smart, but not a soldier nor a psychologist. Was hoping to explain that in my next post. That episode was actually based on an additional set of issues, not just the PTSD. I had a bit of time to think about how Kayleb would respond to any advances from the Dame as you gave a few clues earlier.  Will put that up soon. 

Edited 1468934357
The Dame This is some of the IC and OOC thinking behind Kayleb's response to the Dame's advances. Again, this stuff is in Kayleb's head, and seeing that for now the interaction is purely a private matter between K and the Dame I'm mainly just posting it for giggles and just in case anyone is interested.  Power Play.  In Kayleb's mind everybody, on some level, is a puppet. Everyone has strings that can be pulled to make them move. Once someone identifies your needs or your motivations, they can tug your strings this way or that in order to get you under control. He would have consolidated this view as a leader of Marines. Leadership in any military setting requires the ability to get people to act against their personal interests. You need to influence people to the point where the goal is more important to them than their own safety. You need to know how to pull their strings. Even outside of a military setting, you're usually either a puppet or a puppeteer. The Dame? Puppeteer for sure. Kayleb is happy to be a puppet in certain circumstances, but not this one. In some ways Kayleb's rejection of the Dame's romantic advances are just a power play. He's not going to be her love toy and carry her bags around just because she made him a sandwich. A person's sexuality is the most powerful "string" of all. It can make you a slave if you don't play your game right. Kayleb won't be the Dame's bitch.  Demonized.  As a marine, I'd imagine Kayleb to have embraced dogmatic contempt towards all enemies of the Imperium. If fighting them is your job then having the lowest possible view of them would be an integral part of that job.  Would make it easier to shoot them if you ever needed to.  " You see, when the Extents sends Vargr over the Imperial boarder, they're not sending their best. They're sending Vargr who have lots of problems. And they're bringing those problems with us. They bring drugs, they bring crime, they're rapists. And some... I assume ... are good people.. . " In Kayleb's mind the Extents are populated with slave trading, opportunistic, corsair barbarian scum. Even Vargr refugees fleeing the chaos of the extents should, in Kayleb's opinion, be screened. Those who don't hold to Imperial values should be "sent back to where they come from .. or to the vacuum of space ... whichever is closer." So the Dame can act as fancy as she likes. Kayleb figures that each jewel in her tiara was probably spoils from some corsair raid, or purchased with coin gained by trading slaves. Whether or not this is actually true is irrelevant. He has noting but contempt for her polity and the culture she comes from.  No positive outcome.  There are only negative outcomes from any coupling with the Dame. So ... does Kayleb get to be dragged into the extents to be her pet? is she  just making some hit and run bonk on Kayleb, making him some sex toy?  Is she going to renounce her social position in the Society of Equals and become an Imperial Citizen? Is she going to have Kayleb's puppies? Not to mention the fact that he'd probably get fired for bonking a passenger.  There is no positive outcome, except maybe for some short term gratification. But Kayleb could get that from a grapefruit and a photo of a border collie.  OOC I think everyone would agree that the "romance" between Princess Leia and Han solo was great, and that the romance between Padme and Anikin was rubbish. If there's going to be any kind of romance between Kayleb and the Dame, I'd much rather play it in a Han and Leia direction.  
 " B ut Kayleb could get that from a grapefruit and a photo of a border collie". wow awesome
So Kayleb is Donald Trump, except the toupee is a full-body fur coat? (And he's not rich.)

Edited 1464383599
Wolfen said: So Kayleb is Donald Trump, except the toupee is a full-body fur coat? (And he's not rich.) NO not at all! It's just that he believes a big wall should be built on the coreward boarder, and that the Vargr in the Extents should pay for it.  EDIT: And he is rich thankyou very much! He almost has 50,000cr!

Edited 1467293053
After the horror of Bowman, I imagine that Kayleb would be going through a "numb" phase. He has just butchered a whole bunch of people dressed as civilians. He covers it up with his usual bravado, but psyc skilled or high INT characters may be able to see through it. Bowman was pretty horrific. Kayleb was killing pullers with a colourful variety of weapons. Shotguns, lasers, gauss. He set a few on fire, hacked some with a cutlass, and then there's the mess he made with the automatic grenade launcher. I can only imagine that that kind of carnage stays with you.   So sharp characters may spot him occasionally going into a blank stare, not eating much, or talking as if Bowman never happened. He snaps out of this behavior pretty quickly though, as if forcing himself into a more positive state or pretending not to be burdened by guilt.   

Edited 1468819878
"The Psionics Suppressions were an event in the history of the Third Imperium during which public opinion was turned against the use of Psionics and probably every organization or institution teaching or studying Psionics was shut down. As a result of the Psionics Suppressions, the use of Psionics is now taboo within the Third Imperium. In the latter half of the 700's, high Imperial figures (the Office of the Emperor and the Intelligence Agency) became convinced that the approximately 60% of the psionics institutes within the region spinward of the Corridor Sector were being financed, at least in part, by Zhodani money. The Zhodani were believed to be laying the groundwork for a "fifth column" to operate in Imperial space during a war planned to break out between 810 and 820. The Imperium moved to combat this. After the recent coutroom drama, I thought it would be good to let folks in on Kayleb's motives.  Kayleb has always suspected Isis was the one who detonated the nuke. She was there, she had the motive. And it was confirmed that the nuke was the same sort encountered on Wypoc? Where did we get Isis from? And does Isis sill have allies on Wypoc? Unlike Maarg who wasn't anywhere near the area, and who has only a bruised ego as a motive, the math in Kayleb's mind makes Isis the more likely suspect. As far as he could see, the only thing stopping anyone else from thinking so was their emotional attachment to her.  Seeing that folks seemed to have been duped into not investigating Isis as a potential suspect, Kayleb simply bit his lip. The courtroom was going to be where he would make her a suspect. At the very least the idea needed to be properly investigated, and she needed to be detained. Kayleb had given Isis every opportunity to prove herself to be a genuine defector from the Zhodani Consulate. But she not only showed no partiality toward the Imperium at all, she defended the Consulate within earshot of Kayleb and was dangling money in front of him to get him to murder an Imperial serviceman. At the very least she is guilty of conspiracy to commit murder seeing that we still can't prove Maarg is responsible for the nuke.  So in Kayleb's mind, the most likely scenario was that she was a part of the wave of Outworld Coalition commandos who infiltrated the Imperium well before the Initial military push of the 5th Frontier War. Their goal before the war was to gain trust and get established. Then, when Outworld Coalition forces arived in their area they would be in a perfect position to do maximum damage. But Isis found herself in a position far removed from real military or political assets. She was stuck in a situation where she was combat ineffective. So she "escaped". She then "settled down" with the Colonel, but cut her ties with him in a way that not only ensured his death but also damaged the relationship between the Darrians and the Imperials. She cries he way back into Imperial space onboard the Ares to tie up a loose end - Maarg - the only one who really knows anything about her. At the same time she could "Rescue" the students at the facility on Wypoc and train up a new group of underground psionic insurgents.  Second possible scenario was that the Swordworlders took out the Colonel.  The Third scenario, and in Kayleb's mind the least likely, is that Maarg attempted to repair his bruised ego by organizing the nuclear hit on the Colonel. Either that or he was targeting Isis. Either way it seems like a whole lot of effort and potentially career destroying risk for very little gain. Messiest non political assassination ever.  What took Kayleb totally by surprise was the sudden revelation of Gev's Psionics, and his use of a Zhodani weapon to assault the Aslan guards holding him for being a suspected member of the Outworld Coalition. That was utter betrayal on a number of different levels. He smuggled that weapon in - so what was he planning to do with it? Who trained him? That determines his motives.  Even though the war is technically over for Kayleb due to his injuries, any opportunity to maintain his self esteem and "stay in the fight" is one that he is going to jump on. For Kayleb Psions, Zhodani and Vargr from the Extents are "the Enemy" unless they can prove convincingly otherwise. Isis and Gev have not only failed to "prove otherwise", they have given him solid grounds to believe that they are hostile toward the Imperium.  OOC, I totally get that they're probably not.

Edited 1468846798
You played Kayleb's Devil's Advocate well, Alby.  Every cast has that one character that feels the need to point out the painful possibility and you portrayed Kayleb well.  From Kayleb's injured wartime past, to his distrust of Isis, Uktha, even the Dame to some Extent, (har a pun).  The shock and suprise Kayleb felt upon seeing the security footage of Gevaudan deciding his Aslan Guards were 'enemies' by conning them with his olfactory synesthesia (tr: clairvoyance - tactical awareness variant ), was largely just.  It is pretty obvious by now in all sources and timelines that Psions have to hide their powers usage.  It is also in-character for Kayleb to be disgusted at the outcome.  The heroes don't get their way in the face of a greater polity and its machinations.   It was thematically and dramatically appropriate that Gev's psionics training were betrayed.  The eventuality of more of Artemis Group  confirming such was coming.  A psionics trained Vargr felt his life in danger and he reacted when going for his 'flashlight'.  The Aslan Guards, feeling assured that they could take one white dog with a flashlight leaped to the opportunity to put some pain on a suspected member of the "Outworld Coalition".   Kayleb's mind works in military law mode.  Guilty until proven innocent.  It's war after all.  Soldiers are treated to military law because they are trained and expected to know better. Gevaudan is just a Scout(Courier).  Had his weapon been something else, those Aslan Guards might have killed him.  Without a ceremonial weapon or something recognizable as a weapon, Gev had zero chance of living from their treatment when he lost his cool.  The Zhodani Minsaber and teleporation suit, his psionics of clairvoyance  and teleportation , his race and ethnicity added to the honor-bound Aslan Guards and their weapons and armor; the combination was for a perfect storm that would show just how far Maarg could reach.  The subtle change of the Artemis Group  status from Warrant Summoned Guest to 'prisoners' was catalyst to a climax in this campaign. Kayleb is right to think the way he does and have reactions to what he has experienced.  He is also right to feel extra betrayed by Gevaudan though the two were never friends, (see the Knightly Apology thread).  Had Kayleb a bit more authority on the matter, the Force Commander Marine might have taken earlier action on his own.  His restraint is that he values chain of command as a Marine.  This is admirable even when a soldier sees what he believes to be injust or a disaster in the making.   When Gevaudan squared against Kayleb in that last scene by saying in Gvegh , "You weren't there on Wypoc;" the Pilot-Astrogator was trying to point out that not all the facts had been given Kayleb to work with. Gevaudan isn't happy either.  He's come full circle when he next looked at his Sister-Dame and said, "This was all your fault."  He was speaking from experience.  It was, in the beginning and against the Colonel's better judgement to conduct the field reporting snoop undercover as Wypoc Dragon hunters and confirm the presence of an Imperium Naval Intelligence Psionic Institute.  But what we found was a Naval Intelligence agency that had been corrupted by Capt. Maarg in his own zealous desire to even the arsenal by any means necessary against the Zhodani and the rest of the Outworld Coalition.  Had he refused to take on Prof. Isis, a catch indeed since she was an Instructor, Maarg might have not had the security breach he so feared.  If the Colonel had tossed Isis back out into the garage on Wypoc, Artemis  might have avoided the hounding they got from the worried Captain. Do you see the causality that has lead to the fracturing of the Artemis Group ?  Kayleb feels uber-betrayed.  Crow can't bring himself to trust Darrians after Bowman.  Gevaudan blames his Sister-Dame for the entire Maarg problem, even if they have become closer as siblings, dropping their rivalry.  The Colonel did die in that blast.  The Artemis Group  lost its commander in the flash.  Gevaudan was never meant to sit in The Chair.  Isis has gotten a good taste of socio-political fear of her.  Uthka has learned restraint in the Cassandra Conundrum and overstepping her self-set boundaries as a Seer.  Jeff has learned that curiosity can kill the cat and turn his employers against him; he can even understand why.  Sebastien has learned the basic troubles when dealing with and herding mercenaries of varied backgrounds.  Simone has learned just how hard preserving sophont life truly is.   Yet there has been development and growth of characters.  An audience would definitely find relation or identify with each of the characters of the cast.  Each has something that tugs the heartstrings and endears them to the viewer.  But I digress. Alby has played Kayleb to the hilt and it is frustratingly satisfying.  Well played.
Ta. He's come full circle when he next looked at his Sister-Dame and said, "This was all your fault. Yeah I was wondering what that was about. IC and OOC I was thinking "Don't blame her! Take some responsibility!" ... but it kind of makes sense now.  I am kind of wondering about the fallout from all of this. Will just wait and see I guess. But for the record I'm not going to take it personally if Kayleb gets sacked. In the lead up I figured he would have been weighing things up and deciding what was more important. Willing to be sacked. Willing to take bullets if he had to. Zho witches don't get to play the weeping widow if they're supposed to be a suspect. 
I don't believe that Kayleb will be sacked, all he did was bring up a suspect to the case we were originally called to talk about. Even if the others didn't like it, Kayleb did nothing to break to law.
There’s a big difference between “breaking the law” and “breaking company policy”; the first only might get you fired, depending on circumstance; the latter certainly will , legal or not. And Kayleb was under an NDA, which he might well have broken blabbing his mouth that way. Charoux has been very restrained about calling Kayleb by his name, and not by his pejorative nickname. Those who were paying attention will note that, in the middle of Court, Charoux called him “Runt”; because, in that moment, he had never before behaved so small . Politically inconvenient or not, Kayleb owed Gevaudan his life, and this was neither the time nor the place to expose Gev as a possible traitor. At the moment, Charoux would have to hear a very convincing argument to not fire Kayleb.
Yep.  Like I said, I'm keen to see how this turns out. 

Edited 1488507137
Just so folks know, Kayleb's recent unarmed charge against an armed foe is half based on stories like this: Unarmed marines foil terror plot. There was another story I heard of an off duty guy charging another gunman in America, but I can't find it. There is some thinking behind it. Going into a fight you want make sure you don't play according to your opponent's rules. If you opponent has a longarm he wants you to keep your distance so he can shoot you. Those are his rules. So break those rules, get in close and bite his nose off. If your opponent is sporting some kind of Melee weapon, do an Indiana Jones on him - pull your gun and shoot the guy, and then walk away casually like you just took out the garbage. In truth though, there's not much thinking going on when it all hits the fan. It's usually about "Fight or Flight". Unarmed, off duty marines getting brawly with an AK47 armed terrorist is a pretty good example of people conditioned to instinctively go into "Fight" rather than "Flight".

Edited 1489021433
((Was going through old junk and found this. I wrote up a SMEAC briefing for our jaunt into the derelict labship. It was never delivered - Charoux took the reigns pretty early on. Just thought I'd share it here before I delete the file. It wasn't quite finished. Parts in italics I have just added so it makes sense.)) SITUATION  Derelict spacecraft. Broken lights indicate potential threat. MISSION  Systematically clear the ship to ensure safe salvage operation. EXECUTION Secure foyer. Deploy Team A to hold area. Send probes. Clearance team moves systematically through ship clearing room by room, alternately covering one another. Once engine room and bridge cleared, crew skilled in engineering and computer ops enter to bring power and ship's log back online. Contact drill. Any robot, functional or otherwise, is to be disassembled using as much firepower as necessary. Any sentient being encountered is to be challenged to yield. If the response to this challenge is hostile apply deadly force. Medical officer is to be informed upon discovery of any bodies or lowberths. ADMIN/STORES  Each crewmember entering the derelict should ensure that they have the tools they need to do their job. As a minimum, personnel entering the ship should have: Environmental protection (Vacc/HEV/Btldrs) Vision enhancement gear (low light/IR) Thruster pack All personnel are to be armed. Close range weapons should be preferred over longarms or heavy weapons. COMMAND/COMMUNICATION  Communication relays will be deployed at regular intervals while moving through the ship.