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More Vignettes - Raid on Sandpoint

During the Raid - Kaijitsu Manor "All right, girls!" Kandi exclaimed to the Pixie's Kittens running around with sacks of valuables. Kandi herself had an armful of books. "Don't bring everything, Miro's Workshop is small and full of his things, too. Anna's out so we have to be on our best behavior." Sinnamon tried to sneak past Kandi on the way down the stairs but the older woman stopped her. "Leave the leather straps in your room, Sin." "But..." "Butts are for spanking! I'll spank you if you bring another strap down these stairs." Kandi gave the woman a tap on her bottom and pointed away from the stairs. Sin stuck out her tongue though she retreated as ordered. The other girls began to file down the stairs with a few notable exceptions. Bambi. Kandi retreated from her post to look for the girl. The big manor was empty except for the sound of Sin's grumbling and subsequent footsteps down the central staircase. Kandi called out for the diminutive blonde to no avail; she wasn't even in the gardens. Kandi rushed down stairs in a panick. "Girls! Bambi is..." She was there, a colander on her head, a string of garlic around her neck and a slab of raw meat on a fork..."What...?" "Well, I got to thinking," Bambi began. "I got to thinking that if there's a monster raid that one of us ought be prepared." Kandi let the idea of Bambi thinking settle in her brain before carefully asking her next question." Yes. Well, what do you think you'll be protecting us from...?" Cherri rolled her eyes and put a pillow over her face as she reclined on a couch. Bambi's eyes lit up. She loved it when people entertained her thoughts. Kandi always attempted to be kind to Bambi and her..."thought process" but she had to admit that sometimes, she just wanted to put a jar around Bambi's head to block the sound of her. Bambi tapped her colander. "This is made out of iron," she said except she pronounced iron like eye-ron, such that is sounded like two separate words. "So it'll keep my brain safe from tinkering. And monsters hate garlic! and this is a steak on a silver fork so iffn's a monster comes to gobble me up, I steak him and then stab him with my fork!" Kandi blinked slowly. "That's..." She stopped. It was all wrong...no, it was mostly wrong but it was so ridiculously assembled she could only consider it ALL wrong. Bambi clearly knew only enough to be dangerous. "That's nice, Bambi." Bambi beamed. "And the piece of residue, as the Cheliaxian's say, is my holy water" She had a glass with a Calistrian symbol in it. "Piece of residue...do you mean piece de resistance  ?" "No thank you, the residue should be enough. Now see, I was outside and I was thinking..." Kandi winced at the phrase; after all, this is how all bad things in the world start. A lich says, "I was thinking...", a raid of monster say, "I was thinking..." and Bambi's thinking was likely to similarly lead to something foul. "I was thinking," Bambi continued. "How does holy water work? Well, I reckon if you put a holy symbol in water what's clean, y'all done made holy water without all the fuss of having to make a priest do it." She raised her hands and made a face that implied "well of course it's that simple." It's the kind of face a baker makes when he runs out of walnuts and says "Well of course, I can just use pistachios! How obvious." The difference here being one of competence. Kandi nodded slowly. "Right... well, hopefully the Heroes of Sandpoint won't need your help though we'll need it here Bambi." Bambi nodded shortly, her blonde curls bobbing in a dance. "I'mma sit by the stairs. It's what soldiers call first watch on the account that their watching for dangerous stuff," she hesitated and smirked smugly. "I fucked 3 soldiers and a bandit. I'm kind of an expert."
Tiny comes down the staircase carrying a rucksack adequately filled with clothes and... tools of the trade. "You must have a very sepcial brain darling. I've fucked plenty a' soldiers in my time, and I ain't ever learned anything about watching. My mama always said I was a doer." He chuckles as he passes her at the base of the steps. "Now I can say, having studied under a few priests in my time, holy water's a fair bit more complicated than that."
Bambi pouts. "Well how would you  make holy water, Mr. Smartbritches?"
Tiny laughs good naturedly. "Well, I wouldn't. I'm no holy man. I suppose I wasn't entirely fair in saying what I did. The holy water I've seen made has been real specific to its faith. Who do you hold faith with Bambi? Maybe it's different for your order. Besides, those priests weren't much good at teaching. They don't really understand the concept've take following give, if ya know what I mean." He winks at Bambi and grins.
Bambi scowls at Tiny and crosses her arms, "Well, I'm Calistrian, obviously and you won't be confusing me none on the account that you use big words like con septives and what for." with the determination of a woman who believes herself well educated on a topic, like "watching", Bambi stared up the staircase to watch for danger. "Big wordsin' ass, Tiny. I know big words, too," she mutters under her breath and proceeded to contemplate what big words she did know.
Tiny blinks, then looks over to Kandi. "I didn't mean nothing by it. Just thought we were havin' a banter?"
Kandi shakes her head and pats Tiny's shoulder. "Bambi's...She...Well, we just..." Kandi looks at the other girls who give various shrugs and looks of general inability to help. "Have you ever talked to an 8 year old, Tiny?"
Tiny nods slowly, eyes flicking over to where Bambi is standing staring at the stairs. "Sure I have. I don't intend to be mean-spirited or nothin', but if i'm understanding you right... Bambi's on that level? Not even a matter'a educatin' is it?"
"She's a victim of harlot sweets," Precious whispered. "She took so many she's gone dumb but pretty." She shrugs. "She'll be 80 with flawless skin and about as bright as a rock thrown down a dark well." Some of the other girls nodded. "Mr. F and Anna forbid us to use the things and use Bambi as an example. She used 'em before she came but she was Mr. F's first girl," explain Sin as she did a cat's cradle with a leather string. "So we just kinda...let her be stupid 'cause ain't know fixing her."
"Ahhhh. Well. That's a shame." Tiny trails off a little awkwardly. "Suppose there's no harm in letting her keep watch."