It’s been awhile since I have written about our adventures, but really you haven’t missed much. We have spent probably about a week at this damn door with the stairs that seem to never end. During our first journey down the stairs, we were attacked by some hairless cats that puked nasty bile all over us that weakened us physically. After much frustration and feeling hopeless, we left the area and ran in to a couple of goblins, but they weren’t much trouble, bu we decided to go back to the stairs again. We were attacked by a giant grub that paralyze people and then ate them! Thank goodness for Lil’ Maggie and her magic, else we’d all be dead! THE STAIRS… THE FUCKING STAIRS Today the group has finally committed to journeying down the stairs until we either get to the bottom or die. There were no issues on the first day. While sleeping, I was suddenly struck by a cold that was so bitter that it nearly froze the blood in my heart! When I woke, the rest of the party seemed unaffected. After another day of endlessly descending the stairs, I decided to relieve myself over the edge and into the abyss. To my surprise, I actually heard my stream splashing in water! With renewed hope we rushed to the bottom, but what we found was not exactly inspiring… HELL’S OUTHOUSE The stairs opened in to what looks like a large pool of piss with some intricate network of bridges, some of which are only a few feet across. In the center of the chamber there is what appears to be a gigantic pile of crap, but there is a door in it!?! While trying to cross the first narrow bridge, Vilga fell off the bridge and the giant leeches immediately moved toward her. The peasant that was crossing with Vilga, also fell in when trying to reach down to help her out. During the battle, one of the leeches killed the peasant and the two other leeches attached to Vilga’s legs. Maggie blasted the creature to pieces with her crazy magic. Gahldra and I struggled, but were able to pull Vilga out of the pool using some rope. While all of this was happening, some invisible creature was moving around attacking people. It killed another of the peasants and then attacked the peasant right next to me. Having finally pulled Vilga out of the water, I grabbed the chalk out of my pocket, crushed it and tossed in the general direction of this murderous invisible fiend. Fortunately, that was enough to give our superhero Maggie a chance to fart some ominous cloud on this implike creature… yes, apparently her farts are magic too! This scared the creature off, but it dove in to the piss pool and once again vanished in to thin air. As we were cautiously crossing the last narrow bridge to get to the shit hut… yes, piss pool and shit hut… great place… anyway, while crossing the last bridge, our murdering invisible imp friend killed another one of the peasants. We found the doors to the hut we locked, but our blue-skinned friend, Theedi, was able to open it. Inside we found a start shaped room and what looks like the item described by Arpodian! Of course, it is on a dais in the center of the room and there is some sort of piping system that appears to be siphoning blood from multiple closets in to the cylinder. This all has the hairs on the back of my neck standing on end! Invisible murderous imps, giant leeches living in pools of piss, huts made of shit, and a blood-siphoning chamber… what could possibly go wrong if we just grab the relic and run? ~Bheldor
