I am not the best public speaker, or writer. I run games. I used to be in the military. I have a non-combat head injury that limits my ability to focus and remember things. So with that in mind, I propose the following: We're all hopefully trying to get along. I think that's generally the goal. But what tools are there to enhance communication? Assertiveness as a style, is one method. This is different than a communication style that is one of either aggression or passivity. Personal Boundaries distinguish between these
three concepts. I'm putting it out there for everyone to Buy-in to this concept on these forums. I'm not a mod, just one guy. But I'm confused as to why I see so much snarking left and right when with some effort we can all get along. Passive communicators do not defend their own personal
boundaries and thus allow aggressive people to abuse or manipulate them through fear, intimidation and similar tactics. Passive communicators are also typically not likely
to risk trying to influence anyone else. Aggressive people do not respect the personal boundaries of others and harm others
by damaging the self esteem of their target while trying to influence them. A person communicates assertively by
overcoming fear of speaking his or her mind, and not trying to influence
others, but doing so in a way that respects the personal boundaries of
others. Assertive people are also willing to defend themselves against
aggressive people. So let's communicate assertively, without attacking others, stating our cases, for ourselves. Perhaps the community can benefit. I hope. This post was one such example. I am here to play. To do the best job I can, to promote a healthy forum, as a GM of many years. Chime in with other assertive statements, so we can get some open communication about our needs, and wants, and how we can make a better community. Please do so with respect for the boundaries of yourself and others. Through cooperation, we can help to solve a whole slew of problems with regard to absentee players and gamemasters, and whatnot. Because the passive people will not step up, and will be run over by the agressive. This isn't the damn Magna Carta. I hope it's not a Manifesto. I'm hoping we can agree to work on problems. I'm hoping we can get some signatories to the [I will be a better GM, I will be a better player, I will be a better communicator "Whatever this is."] As a Player, I agree to show up, and play without stepping on other players, nor using the group as a time waster, when I have nothing else to do. I will keep track of my character when the GM does not, and not cheat, or try to dominate other players, nor hijack the game because I'm bored. If I cannot make it to a session, I will notify the GM, with as much advance notice as possible. I will help other players to learn, and work with them and the GM to make the game better by promoting the story, and highlighting the characters within it. As a GM, I agree to put forth my best effort, to communicate what kind of game I am running well ahead of time so that players can decide when to apply, to what game, and try to match the needs of the game with the needs of the players. I further agree to be fair, impartial, and make rulings that are fair to all, not punishing players, or their characters. I will listen to the needs and wants of my players and work with them, to make for a better game. As a community member, I agree to promote open communication, help new players and GMs, and develop a spirit of friendship and cooperation among, in and for the community. Please, others, feel free to add further clauses to this document, or help me to clarify it. - James H. Jenkins, 47, Pittsburgh, PA. GM since 1977.
