The one thing that I have always wanted to do, at least for the last three years that I have been alive, is to be a song mage. I talked to a dude in the second place I went, by the name of Red Rumbler or something. He gave me like seven names he went by, and when I told him from whence I came he asked about LPs and records and something called C-Funk. Anywho, he knew of a bard that was working on song magic. The name he gave the Ramblesmith was "Rooster," which is a fake name if I've ever heard one. The music in his world sucked, nothing like the amazing stuff the evil Tyrania was listening to... well she's not evil, she's just a dragon. I didn't appreciate her, and she left shortly after I arrived... she was mad at someone named Keg Man or something. Anywho, I had a bard write a song about Rex, if he were a hero of Yore, or at least Palladium. Way back in days of olde There was a legend told About a hero known as Galavant Square jaw and perfect hair... Cojones out to there... There was no hero quite like Galavant Tough, plus every other manly value... Mess with him, he'll disembowel you. Yay! He ruled in every way! A fairy tale cliché! And people called him Gaaaaaaa-laaaaaaa-vaaaaaaaaaaaant! The man we're speaking of He had a lady love And Madalena, she was one fair maiden Long legs and perfect skin A body built for sin With cleavage you could hold a whole parade in! Ah, true love was never this ecstatic Nor as wildly acrobatic! Yes! He loved her to excess Thrice daily more or less And she'd be screaming... Gaaaaaa-laaaaaa-VA—! One tiny problem Soon would arise Richard, a nearby king Of wealth and stature He watched Madalena Lust in his eyes And he asked her for her hand... Well, more like a demand... Well, more like had his henchman snatch her Galavant, help! Which brings us to today The Royal Wedding Day No one can stop it now but Galavant Poor Madalena waits Behind King Richard's gates For the arrival of her Galavant Now, at last begins a true adventure Epic! Wild! A real butt-clencher! So, Huzzah and tally-ho! Sit back and here we go! Attend the tale of... Gaaaaaaaaaaa-laaaaaaaaaaa-vaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaant!
