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Mononoke's Yarn

1599188633

Edited 1600553927
Howdy!  Gather round, y'all, Auntie Mononoke got a yarn fo' ya'.  I'm just chewing the rag now, since I just living in tall cotton, but I used to be in the Irregulars, the greatest group ever!  I reckon y'all heard of dem, everyone has, but I'm fixin' to tell y'all 'bout them personal like. ThorFrid was all hat, no cattle.  She'd fly off in a conniption fit at simple things, like the color purple.  Now don't git me wrong, she ain't a damn fool, she’s two sandwiches short of a picnic.  Dadgumit, she was the one that had your back, come hell or high water, when the cow pies hit the fan.  She’d charge hell with a bucket of ice water. He can find a whisper in a whirlwind is the best way to describe Lucryllin.  He may look like a girl, and so skinny he has to stand twice to make a shadow, but smart as a whip.  Now, not gettin' me wrong, Dead magic is afeared stuff, but serious as the  business end of a .45.  I mean that thang is as dark as the devil’s riding boots. Benna was always treated like a chillun', even if she was my age- seems she'd done some time steppin' right before I arrived.  She could shoot the wings off a skeeter,   She rarely used her pistols, though, and she whupped folks with her mind!  She was as independent as a hog on ice! Most folks think that Saint Rebecca was the moral compass, but she was born on the wrong side of the blanket.  She felt that men couldn't ride and chew at the same time.  Yep, all men were as welcome as a skunk at a lawn party with Rebecca- I was glad I didn't have no mule in my barn. I leave Nosmo fo' final, that's sure.  Just thinkin' 'bout him make me happy as a hog in mud.  Imagine a corn fed brilliant green Dragon so big he had to sit down in shifts with plenty of arrows in his quiver.  He was sweeter to me than old maid's dream, and handy as sliced bread.   Well, it's time to put the chairs in the wagon..
I'm sure glad I ain't got a mule in m'barn, either. I quite love that line.
All hat, no cattle??  More like Mad Cow...