Mouth of Doom: First Attempt Early in the morning, me and a group of other dungeon divers left the rinky dink town Hope to head South to the Mouth of Doom. I heard there was some pretty good treasure there, so I figured this might be a good way to stock up on coin. So in the group we had... 1. Potion Pony 2. Greeny boy 3. Angel Cakes 4. Sheep girl 5. Buttercup 6. Boris Anyway, we all head out, and I'm put in charge of making the map. Not sure if I'll share it with any of them but here it is: So on the way we get attacked by some giant birds. Sheep girl was pretty badass and slid under one to cut open its belly. One bit me pretty hard, but thankfully I got away and shot it with my bow. One of the dwarves healed me. Can't remember if it was Boring or Sunshine . They both look the same to me. Once we killed the birds, we kept going South till we hit the Mouth of Doom. We went down the steps and had a quick breather before we continued to find some treasure. Some people went to examine a door, and then fell in a pit trap. Those Noodlebrains should've asked me to check it for traps but no one did. As we were examining the door, another Meathead fell in a different door trap. Seriously? What's with these people? So Sheep Girl found this passage in the first pit, and she and Greeny Boy go off down the passage without the rest of us, so of course I followed. The passage was pretty tiny, which made it hard for the fatsos to keep up. The small passage led to a hallway with two doors. Sheep Girl opened the South door, and Greeny Boy followed. This woke up a GIANT STONE SNAKE that was immune to all regular weapons. WHAT? So Sheep Girl and Greeny Boy run out of the room WITHOUT CLOSING THE DOOR. Like, seriously where do you find these people? So I ran up and closed the door, wedging an iron spike in there so the snake couldn't get out. As I'm saying, "Hey people, let's go upstairs and try to find some easy treasure..." Sunshine goes and opens the OTHER door, which is full of skeletons and one giant minotaur skeleton. Things go pretty south, Sheep Girl gets stuck in there, so Greeny Boy runs in, MEANWHILE who knows where Boris and Angel Cakes are. I'm not quite sure what happened because I just told everyone to freakin' RUN but somehow Greeny Boy died. We went back up to the main room, and that's when someone told me about Greeny Boy . But I didn't really have any time to be sad about it, because there was this little Demon Kid who just popped out of nowhere. Like, seriously he popped right out of the sky. To be honest, the kid is super creepy. He's got red eyes, says he's from Neverwinter which is REALLY far from here, and there's something off about him. I don't trust him, but for some reason the others do. Even Sheep Girl gave him a hug. So we take a quick breather on the steps again, and then go around to check all the doors. All the doors have symbols above them. We spotted a pentacle, skull, wolf, goat, and hand. I found a spear trap near one of the doors on the left side of the stairs. Now, let's be real over here. I'm with this group of Dunderheads who go running off without half the group, and I didn't come all the way to Hope to just die. So I was trying to tell these bozos to actually check the door for traps so we don't... you know, DIE. But for some reason Sunshine is saying "why don't we just go through the door! This is taking too long!" Like suck it up buttercup, this is a freakin' dungeon. WE CHECK FOR TRAPS. So we decide to go through the North hallway that doesn't have any symbols above the door, and doesn't have traps either. We walk down a long hallway and into a room. On the East side Sheep girl spots a secret door. But I suggest we should check the room before we go through the door. The room is full of rubble and I pick up some pebbles and pocket sand for later. You never know when you need that stuff. So as we're exploring around the corner we get attacked by zombies. We kill them pretty easily, no big deal. But I spot a door to a smaller room inside the room. Noodle Brains then decides to put his hands RIGHT on the door and they stick there like super glue. Then he puts his FEET on the door. Like what a block head! I guess glasses don't mean you're a smarty pants. Anyway he needs to take off his boots and gloves and leaves them stuck to the door. So we open the door and the floor is sticky too. There's boots from some other poor meathead stuck in the floor and a dead skeleton guy who cut off his hand because that got stuck. Honestly... why didn't these people just not touch the floor? But in the middle of the room there's a BIG CHEST and I want it! So I came up with this great idea to use the rubble as stepping stones to get to the chest. Inside there was a TON of gold coins and one copper piece. Honestly, we got so many coins my backpack was super heavy. Sheep Girl took the copper piece but to be honest I kind of want it. I feel like it's lucky or something. Maybe I can steal it from her later... Nah, she's a rogue she'll probably notice. Next we go to check out the secret door, and we're attacked by these giant worms that can launch themselves through the air. Thankfully we killed them and no one died but it was a little touch-and-go at some points. Through the door we find a rich dude's coffin. Of course I'm thinking let's steal his stuff. He's dead so he doesn't need it anyway. So we open the coffin and the dead dude comes alive and starts trying to kill us. He also has this horrible smell! So I throw some oil on him so we can set him on fire, and I just keep pinging arrows until he dies. On him he had a fancy necklace that we sold for a FORTUNE. Seriously, it was one of the best scores of my life. After killing the dead guy we'd mostly had enough and decided to go back to Hope to sell our stuff. I've got another plan to go out in a few days. I think the demon kid is coming too, so if I get murdered in my sleep you all know who did it... just saying.
- Trym
