G.

As the flickering torchlight of a forgotten tavern settles upon this weathered parchment, a voice echoes from the shadows—gravel-rough, warm with mead, and laced with the promise of peril...

Hail, Wanderers of the Realms!

I am Gusalupogus, your Dungeon Master, keeper of fates and weaver of legends. Pull up a stool by the hearth, pour yourself a tankard of something strong, and heed well the words etched below—for here begins our tale.

The Codex of the Table

(My House Rules, bound in dragonhide and sealed with ancient wax, apply to all who cross my threshold—unless the winds of fate decree otherwise.)

For nearly four decades, I have walked the shadowed paths of Dungeons & Dragons, guiding heroes and villains alike through the crucible of destiny. I stood sentinel through the ages of yore, turned my back on the Fourth Cataclysm, and returned with the dawn of the Fifth Edition—sword in one hand, dice bag in the other.

I am a fair arbiter, but the dice are cruel and capricious gods. The mightiest strategy may crumble to a fumbled roll; the fool’s gambit may topple empires. Fortune favors the bold—and the pun-slinging.

The Soul of the Game

I am here to laugh, to thrill, to craft sagas worthy of bards yet unborn. I revel in:

- Puns that make even the gods groan

- Wordplay sharp enough to draw blood

- Song references that echo through the ages

- Dad jokes so potent they grant Inspiration (and perhaps a few XP)

Voices? Mine are rough as a troll’s hide—but if you can channel the gravel of a dwarf king or the hiss of a serpent queen, then by all means, speak, and let the world tremble.

The World We Walk

Our stage is a tapestry woven from the Forgotten Realms, its pantheon twisted by my own heretical lore. The air smells of pipe-weed and ancient forests; the horizon carries the weight of Tolkien’s Middle-earth—epic, somber, and alive with wonder. Expect hobbit-like folk in the shires, elven grace in the deep woods, and dragons that hoard more than gold.

The Law of the Table

• Whiners, bigots, and creeps will find no mercy here. My table is a sanctuary, not a stage for your darkness.
  
• Be kind. Be bold. Be respectful—to me, to your fellow adventurers, to the story itself.
  
• I am Gen-X forged, baptized in sarcasm and raised on mixtapes. If you can take a joke (or dish one back), you’ll fit right in.
  
• Fail that test? The door swings both ways—and it locks from the inside.

In the end, we are here to forge memories in fire and song.

So ready your character sheets, sharpen your wit, and step into the unknown.

The dice are rolling. The story awaits.

~ Gusalupogus

Dungeon Master | Lorekeeper | Pun-Slinger | Extraordinaire

📜 Discord Beacon: gusalupogus

Whisper your name into the void, and I shall open the portal.