I am not Wil Wheaton. This is a mistake commonly made by people who do not realize Wil Wheaton has a beard now, so we no longer look alike, even though we are closely related and share a great deal of genetic material. Not that we ever looked alike in the first place - people just said we did because we're cousins and our names are so similar and we are both white guys who like playing games. Also for many years I was Wil Wheaton's stand-in at parties. When he first became famous, Wil would get invited to a lot of parties, and he was far too busy studying for his thoracic surgery examinations and such, so instead of going to all these parties himself he would send me along to pretend to be him. You see, I can introduce myself as "Will Wheaton" (which is what I used to go by) without lying. This went on for years, long after Wil left medical school and traveled to the Congo and saved all those people and got that medal from the President, so there are many people who actually think I am Wil Wheaton. But I am not Wil Wheaton. He is much taller than I am, and he has a life.