Unforgettable Lines

I believe everyone has said or heard another player say something that reached infamy among the group, maybe turned into an inside joke and brought endless mockery on whoever said it. Perhaps it was just amusing enough that it stuck or unintensionally hilarious! Well, I believe everyone would like to hear some of them, so here is my question: What are the most memorable lines from the games you've played?

"It's only a basic attack!" The party's Warden used Commander's Strike to give the party's Barbarian an attack on one of the enemies. Of course, it was only a basic attack. The Barbarian rolled a critical (triggering Rampage), which killed the target (triggering Swift Charge). "It's only a basic attack" became two basic attacks and a charge... and the basic attack at the end of the charge was replaced with Howling Strike. Only a basic attack, indeed.

Alas, most of mine the things that seem to reach infamy in my groups cannot be repeated in polite company. :) - Gauss

Investigator gets pointed to the woman he needs to talk to, one Heaven Summers. He gets to the door, sees light in the window and goes "knock knock knock." The rest of us were under the tables with laughter, and "knock knock knocking at Heaven's door" was regularly on the playlist as long as the group lasted.

"When your only color is despair, your paintings get boring." -Me, in response to players' questions regarding the many blank, black paintings in a tomb with a single undead monster

"Are you going to eat your fat?" - uttered by the Dwarf PC to other tavern patrons eating dinner, after he spent all his own money buying equipment.

"Let me look up 'Voodoo Mythos' and see what it says..." -Reckless PC at nearly every opportunity in my first Call of Cthulu game Turns out that session/mission had a time limit, and the party got derailed for getting that ONE FREAKING USELESS Red Herring of a book the Keeper threw at us (we ended up attempting to break into City Hall, then made an appointment to meet and ask for the book). Book turned out to be completely un-helpful. The PC that got it kept using the book to check out anything relevant to the crazy stuff that happened thereafter (which it DIDN'T). I would have been fine with his antics if it didn't end up outright killing me via direct contact with Elder God (not a pretty sight). But hey, I got a good taste of what CoC really is.

We were fighting triplet barbarians in an arena. After we killed the first one I taunted them with, "you're twins now *****!" It's become fairly infamous in our group as a nasty insult.

Well, I think it's my turn, although I believe you guys have WAY better lines! "I tell him to calm down." -The PC while strangling said person, who was also in a Frenzy (aka, non-responsive to any form of communication.) We ain't letting him live it down anytime soon.

Here's one from my first D&D Next session, since it's been a while and a few people posted after me: "I want to roll for a Slight of Hand Check." -Rogue PC out loud in the presence of the entire party for only a few coins. Yeah, way to signal how you're going to play this; not even thinking to use a Whisper to the DM. What's worse is that he CRITICALLY MISSED it so that everyone's PC saw the massive fail. (Even funnier: He had EXPERTISE (+5) and +3 Dex and +1 Proficiency going for him, which would make at least 11 had he rolled a 2 or above.) The roll wasn't even private. We were also in a Neutral/Good campaign. Wow, the points against said person keep stacking. XD

"....and that is how you make hover cars" While not said in character it was perhaps the greatest thing said in our 3.5 edition group. It was how the player ended his theory as to what would happen if you smear peanut butter on a cats back and then drop it. Seeing as cats land feet first and things with peanut butter always land peanut butter side down he surmised that a cat would stop mid air and spin constantly. The greatest in character line I've heard was "What? He can't even use magic," Two characters attempting to explain to the local sheriff that it is impossible for their gnome companion to commit the murder he was being framed for under the ground that he could not cast magic. He was a gnome wizard....somehow they didn't realize he was. When the player burst into a fit of laughter OOCly they kinda got the hint.

Brian said: "It's only a basic attack!" The party's Warden used Commander's Strike to give the party's Barbarian an attack on one of the enemies. Of course, it was only a basic attack. The Barbarian rolled a critical (triggering Rampage), which killed the target (triggering Swift Charge). "It's only a basic attack" became two basic attacks and a charge... and the basic attack at the end of the charge was replaced with Howling Strike. Only a basic attack, indeed. I would like to point out that a very similar turn of events happened again this week. The Barbarian used an Action Point to attack an enemy. The enemy died, allowing him to charge another enemy with Swift Charge. He critted on the charge, giving him another attack. Mmm, basic attacks. Also: same combat, the killing blow on half of the enemies was dealt by my Cloud of Daggers at the beginning of the enemy's turn. Only daily power left is a fear against fearless enemies? Only encounter left targets fortitude against enemies with high fortitude? Enemies have low reflex? Cloud of Daggers!!!

"Is that Goblin trying to commit suicide!?" -Said by Mage PC after we all observed a single Goblin outside a locked door try twice to burst through... with two critical misses in a row (which damaged it too). You know DM, he could have just used his turns to run around and jump through the windows like the other 9 Goblins that jumped us. And... That's the last of my current unforgettable lines. My next sessions are coming up soon, so I may have a few more next time.

"Yeah, I think he's still twiching." -Arbitrator PC after he was instructed by the Adept to check if the HereTek they just beat was dead. Thing is, the Arbitrator hit the guy in the head with a Shocket (Stun-gun), managed a crit, doing him enough damage to make his head EXPLODE, his now headless corpse to catch fire and start running out in the street, where it also got hit by a truck.

Here's a fresh one: "FREAKING RAT!!!" -Said by Cleric PC (Myself) as he witnessed a Rat stealth attack a ROGUE, land a CRITICAL HIT, and OHKO's her! Yes, I was that surprised and struck by the irony of it all. Oh my, only my 3rd-ish session in Roll20 and I'm already seeing some ridiculous stuff!

James J. said: Here's a fresh one: "FREAKING RAT!!!" -Said by Cleric PC (Myself) as he witnessed a Rat stealth attack a ROGUE, land a CRITICAL HIT, and OHKO's her! Yes, I was that surprised and struck by the irony of it all. Oh my, only my 3rd-ish session in Roll20 and I'm already seeing some ridiculous stuff! Jesus... what type of rats do your GM allow in game?

After getting knocked down to -1 hp in a game, I said my character twitched aggressively. It became a running in group joke that whenever a character went into negative, he would be allowed to twitch aggressively on his turn. This actually saved the group once when the villain spun to attack a character that he thought was out cold but then that character twitched and moved.

Metroknight said: After getting knocked down to -1 hp in a game, I said my character twitched aggressively. It became a running in group joke that whenever a character went into negative, he would be allowed to twitch aggressively on his turn. This actually saved the group once when the villain spun to attack a character that he thought was out cold but then that character twitched and moved. Did it save the character said villain attacked? Cause it sounds like it lead to what I like to call "Acceptable losses" aka triage.

Metroknight said: After getting knocked down to -1 hp in a game, I said my character twitched aggressively. We used to have a rule, if your character got knocked down to -1 hp or worse you had to physically lie on the floor and do what we called the "Apollo Creed flop". If you've seen the movie Rocky IV, you will know what I mean.

Johann C. said: James J. said: Here's a fresh one: "FREAKING RAT!!!" -Said by Cleric PC (Myself) as he witnessed a Rat stealth attack a ROGUE, land a CRITICAL HIT, and OHKO's her! Yes, I was that surprised and struck by the irony of it all. Oh my, only my 3rd-ish session in Roll20 and I'm already seeing some ridiculous stuff! Jesus... what type of rats do your GM allow in game? Maybe it was splinter from ninja turtles?

Back in the 80's, when playing CHAMPIONS. The game master was encouraging us to role-play. He had a God/Hitler Complex, but that's okay because we had a Worshiper/Poland Complex. He says, "Think! What are the two ways in CHAMPIONS to get an NPC to do what you want?" One player replies, "Well, there's violence..." Laughter. For two minutes. We never needed the second way.

Phisto Roboto said: Did it save the character said villain attacked? Cause it sounds like it lead to what I like to call "Acceptable losses" aka triage. It caused the villain to spend his action on my character which dropped him even lower (-9) but it allowed the rest of the group to attack him with bonuses. I freely gave up my character to give the rest of the group a chance of defeating the villain.

Johann C. said: Jesus... what type of rats do your GM allow in game? To be fair, we we're all Level 1; just starting our adventure. That Rogue had a Max HP of only 7 (Not that I'm much better at 10...). Also, it was pitch-black night when the Rats attacked. I managed to use a Light Cantrip to let my party see, but one apparently sneaked outside my radius and jumped the Rogue. No deaths occurred though; I had Spare the Dying (I'm a Cleric worth my weight, darn it!).

Metroknight said: It caused the villain to spend his action on my character which dropped him even lower (-9) but it allowed the rest of the group to attack him with bonuses. I freely gave up my character to give the rest of the group a chance of defeating the villain. When a player/character sacrifices themselves for the greater good of the party it is always a good thing in my books. Shows that the players have a certain level of trust in each other. In my podcast "The Fett-chers" one of the characters said "If we only lose one member per fight...we're still doing good"

One of my Player's in an early 3e campaign when his 3rd level fighter was brought to -2hp "My fighter will take his free action to recline..."

I have just a few of them: 1) "Show me a Bar-Wench!" -my drunken Dwarf successfully ruining our party's attempt at scrying our enemy. 2) "We're the Magnificent Seven!" My drunken Dwarf referring to his party of eight players. 3) "We're the Magnificent Nine!" You guessed it, my same drunken Dwarf, later, still with only eight players. 4) "HUG ME" - my "special" centaur barbarian who had a flaw causing everything he touched to take damage because he didn't know his strength. 5) "You come out of the closet in the nightclub, holding your meat under your jacket. A woman screams." a player had traveled through a Way that happened to be in a costume closet at a nudie bar, received a gift from his patron (A dehydrated severed goat hoof, which he correctly smelled as meat), which he tried to hide when leaving through that closet, and scaring a poor stripper when he emerged. 6) "Not me, I'm Sewer Good Guy!" said by a player emerging from the Sewer after we chased a villain down there, and asked him if he was The Sewer Bad Guy we didn't know the name of. 7) "I abort to crap myself."-me "That's probably a zero-phase (free) action." -the GM I might have more, but these are my favorites that I remember.

Another one from a VtR game I host. Player punches ghost, crits, but still that does jack, because... well, ghost. When it's time for his turn again, he shines with the most brilliant idea on how to properly fight the supernatural: "I punch her again! I'll use a double attack this time!" Both punches manage to go through the ghost, he has no defense because of the double punching and gets KO'd by a flying chair the ghost was preparing from the round before.

"Hey (Cleric PC/Myself), I'm going to chip this rock down to size. Mind if you make it glow before I toss it down the hole?" -Barbarian PC cracking a giant rock that was covering a grate with a pickaxe... Uh... I thought it was a good idea too, so I complied by using a Light Cantrip. Thing is, it only ended up attracting Ghouls by the time we caught up to the rock. Looking back, I just had to think: "WHY did I even agree to do that ridiculous thing!?"

Not so much a line. In one of my campaigns in the 80s after the party killed an innocent farmer and took over the his house, they started singing the song Our House by Madness. They thought it was a hoot, that is until the authorities got a hold of them. :) Then they spent some time in the Big House.

Context: Victoriana 2nd, Set in the Civil War era United States of America. I was playing as a Eladarin Medicine Woman masquerading as a Doctor, who had a slight problem with....eating human flesh. Over the course of the campaign my character had been engrossed in this international plot involving the Necronomicon. After being blackmailed by the French government, she snuck into a party hosted by the Duke of France and convinced one of the other PCs to let her get on the Duke's Airship. Of course she was caught and as she was scrambling up the ladder I was super stressed out and had to roll a Willpower roll which I critically failed. So I loss it and leap upon on of the deckhands and literally tear his throat out. I'm totally panicing OoC and have absolutely nothing to save to recover from that but turning to the remaining deckhand and growling: "Jump!" Which he does as I rush inside to steal the Necronomicon, which leads into my shinnanigans trying to pilot a airship, taking out at least 4 wyvern knights, and blowing up a decent chunk of New Orleans only to jump at the last minute and swiming to shore with said book. Only to discover that when I get home that the book has tainted me with a consuming disease that will kill me. Fun times....fun times.

My Friends Before 4e release: "Half-elves are useless" "Bards are awful, and for 'brings a guitar with me everywhere' guys" "Half-elf bards? Play a gnome you sad ugly loser." After 4e was just released: "I miss bards..."

I miss 3.5 edition...

"And a great white bear appears!" (The GM for the very first encounter said this, catching us all completely off guard, especially considering we were in a modern city at the time. From then on we usually said that when ever GM was deciding what was gonna happen next and taking an unusually long pause.) "Monk Man!" (Another encounter in the middle of an enemy base where, we encounter a deaf, mute monk who we attack and dodges everything we throw at him, to only have him join us and constantly pull of insane acts of dexterity , to which we reply anytime we need something done we shout out the after mentioned phrase.) "I'm an orphan. All my friends and family are dead, I killed them." (This one has to be my favorite, a different group in which I was DMing, one of the PC characters was flirting with a female NPC and was doing well until she asked about his family and he replies with this, no hesitation, realized what he said and tried to save it/ take it back. I did not let him. Now we never let him live down the moment he tried to woo a female with the line "I'm an orphan. All my friends and family are dead, I killed them.") "I take off my pants." (Same PC as the one above, this was the first thing he said and did when we started the campaign. He wanted to see if I really meant it when I said 'you can do whatever you guys want'. To which I instantly created a big buff afro wearing gay black guy, named Tyrone, to appear and become "interested' in him. I then made Tyrone, the leader of the mercenary group they ultimately joined. And again we never let him live it down and used that one action to create several sides stories and plot twists and such, through out the entire campaign also whenever I asked what the PCs wanted to do, someone says "I take off my pants." jokingly. ) I have a bunch of other ones, but some other time.

1- "Did you just activate the device?!?" 2- "... Yeah." 1- "But it conjures up a black hole and summons monsters from the deepest corners of space!!!!" 2- "... Oh so it isn't a good thing?" 1- "ARGH!!" DM- "Roll a d100 for me please" 1- "WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!!" 'Sound of dice rolling' DM- "As you all stare in horror at the widening abyss forming in the sky, a shape begins to form and to your growing horror you recognize the shape for what it is." 1- "'whimpers' -What is it?" DM- "Chuck Norris appears."

Oh my gosh, I'm ROFL'ing hard here; so much ridiculous stuff everywhere! Here's the context for another one: We were ambushed by 10 goblins lead by a smarter one. Instead of it being a challenging encounter for Level 1 PC's, we somehow pwn them with minimal damage. "What use is my perfectly designed encounter if my rolls don't even hit!?" -Exasperated DM

" If only the elf wasn't an anemic, I'm sure he'd do SOMETHING impressive." ~ Halduun Ironsson, Dwarf Fighter, Devil-slayer and destroyer of the Weather Dominator, of Talfagoron the Elf Corsair.

Every Time My friend kills someone he yells "hey it could be worse you could have Aids, not HIV but Full Blown aids" He got a disease from a hooker in an Orc town, for 55 gold and didn't even do a free action spot check. he said " hooker they call me the white wizard, but the only magic i can do is from my pants, so what do you say? I put him in a private room which you couldn't see and he said :how the hell am I going to find the hole its so damn dark in here! so he now has aids, 1x a month he takes 5 d20 worth of gold, melts it down and injects it to save himself

Actual gameplay conversation during a planescape adventure: Bariaur eyeing the two humans looking at his wares-"Hey!Try and peel me and I'll have ya scragged addle-coved clueless!" Thief PC to Mage PC-"I think that weird centaur thing just called you a retard..." Planescape translated

Orr-Orr said: Thief PC to Mage PC-"I think that weird centaur thing just called you a retard..." This is the best thing in the thread! I don't think anyone can top that.

My evil group's rogue upon walking into a room with an Awakened badger: "Oh, look! Mittens!" Same group used to invite their prisoners to play games such as "Five Finger Discount" where the prisoner got to go free once he lost his hand.

Ok this is one that happened when we were all playing Beyond supernatural. I was playing a natural genius (weapons specialization) and my buddy was playing an east Indian scientist that was obsessed with curry. Everything was all about curry the guy and everything he touched our stood near ended up reeking of curry. So my character went into his room with a Febreeze bomb. he had managed to turn 3 cans into an explosive more like a smoke bomb with a timer rather than closing a zip tie to a can and tossing it. after placing the charge behind some computers and getting out it went off and sent the scientist into a fury about his precious smell of curry being gone. Later on the scientist got killed off because he was an evil stupid idiot and dam near got the rest of us killed as well. But now an on going joke in the game everytime something we feel something is about too go wrong someone always says. "..... Do you smell curry?"

This is a player line: A friend and I joined a group locally. In one of our first game with them we came to a giants castle with a closed and locked porticullis. This is DnD 3.5. My friend was playing a Sorcerer with Knock. He used it on the porticullis. Now, it didn'twork. thus began a very long debate on why or why not, ending with him readin g this spell description "Will unlock any locked or magically sealed door blah blah blah" to which the Dm replied, you have to read the "blah blah blah", which he did, loudly until trailing off sheepishly when it got to the "does not work on porticullis" line. Needless to say he got teased mercilessly and any mistake anyone made over the next 2 years became a "read the blah blah blah". He was not amused. Fast forward about 6-8 years. We no longer play with them, but i happen to run into them at a party. They are playing a new game with a new group and invite me. I join them, and within the first half hour me and another guy begin debating whether a maul has reach. I say no, he says yes, research ensues and they say to him, you guessed it... "it must be in the blah blah blah..." lol One simple mistake will live in infamy just because of a little blah blah blah.

My players are investigating a cult that despises technology. The manliest and strongest tries to infiltrate by going direct and just asking to join (social checks and all). After the cult member showed him around the hideout, he proceeds to do the following: pc- So, you hate the things that separate man from nature? NPC- eh, yes. That is what I have said, we are a peaceful, simple people. pc- but... that door there, it separates you from nature. NPC - eh, I don't think that's wha- *dice rolling sounds* pc- I RIP THE DOOR OFF THE HINGES AND RUN AWAY SCREAMING "HERETICAL DOOR. IT MUST BE PURGED". even I couldn't stop laughing for a few minutes after that.

A player in my game, after spending a little time in a city marketplace looking for a carpenter. NPC: "What can I do for you?" PC: "I'm looking for some high quality wood." *lists off various types* NPC: "Hmm...I think I might have some of that Elm, yes..." PC: "Is it of good quality? It is very important that the grain be smooth, and the weave tight." NPC: "Oh yes, I only use the best materials for my carpentry." PC: "Excellent. I'll be leaning on your wood for the foreseeable future, then." NPC: "...you'll be what now?"

aRotondi said: My players are investigating a cult that despises technology. The manliest and strongest tries to infiltrate by going direct and just asking to join (social checks and all). After the cult member showed him around the hideout, he proceeds to do the following: pc- So, you hate the things that separate man from nature? NPC- eh, yes. That is what I have said, we are a peaceful, simple people. pc- but... that door there, it separates you from nature. NPC - eh, I don't think that's wha- *dice rolling sounds* pc- I RIP THE DOOR OFF THE HINGES AND RUN AWAY SCREAMING "HERETICAL DOOR. IT MUST BE PURGED". even I couldn't stop laughing for a few minutes after that. Laughed my ass off. :D

I was playing with a bunch of friends locally and I was a cleric with a good friend being a fighter. We usually through the campaign threw remarks at one another building a good relationship. My buddy had just found a new sword a +2 Keen great sword and imbued it with flaming from a sorcerer. We delved into a cave and upon entering the cave heard a bunch of clinking noises and talking. Our fighter see a door and the group silently makes it to the door. Our fighter peaks through a small opening and see orc's around a camp fire talking to one another. Fighter: Orcs are bad right? Our group response: Yeah He busted through the door and slaughtered the group of orcs inside with easy. After the battle we looked around the room and we heard our fighters head hit the table as what was in the room was told to him. Fighter: You know what I have to name my sword now? Us: what? Fighter: +2 flaming Keen orc with a gambling problem. Lol inside the room were a bunch of orcs around the camp fire tossing coins into a pile in the middle of the room betting on playing cards. We died laughing xD

Okay. This one is really from a long time ago. We were playing a game of AD&D 2d edition after Highschool, with some of my brothers (the two little ones) and a friend of mine. After a couple of events, the mage, a wannabe Rincewind played by my friend, set fire to miles and miles of wheatfields while trying to roast a lamb, and got himself and his group driven in a quest to get the village of some Orcs raiders (or die a gruesome death for the desaster they created). During the exploration of the Orcs cavern, my little brother decided to start collecting orc teeth to start a necklace. Coming from a 13yo that was weird already (I was 14 and didn't mind either :D ). Alas, after a couple of easy battles to get rid of the Orc scum, the Characters encountered a door. And what door. The thief spend 10 minutes asking what if there was any traps, coming back at it while failing every check. The mage threw a spell to detect any traps, of which of course there was none. And then the dwarf decided to take his axe, and started a mighty combat against the door. The door being made out of solid wood took the beating, standing defiantly though hurt, in front of our mighty heroes. Half out of its hinges, almost chopped in two, it still stood there proudly. Then the thief, in a stroke of genius, said "I try to turn the handle". Thus, the mighty door let our heroes pass. That made for a very good laugh and a session that we still remember 10 years after, even though my bros don't even play RPGs anymore.

most unforgettable line I've ever heard? bear in mind that this is 2nd edition adnd. "oh dear." followed by "I really think we should...." only to be cut short and leave the fellow saying , "no time to explain. Just... trust me." of course, that wasn't too bad. it was when he said "Whoops, change of plans, sorry guys" that things got really hairy. never have I been more afraid for a character as when the wizard of the party started solving problems with his unique style of applying logic to it. From having to face down a Minotaur **AT LEVEL ONE**(our first foray as a party) while he uses some sort of homemade spear and rope setup to hit it simultaneously with 20 spears set to receive charge... and it worked! was crazy, but it actually worked. and that was simply the first time he 'had a plan'. at least that one worked. this is also the same wizard that pinned a giant snake in a stairwell with a quarterstaff because it seemed like the best idea available to him at the time (did I mention that he considered it a failed encounter if he had to use any but the most incidental of magics? he was a weird mage - I remember exactly two combat spells over his career; a fireball in a goblin village during negotiations with the tribe over the release of prisoners. that was the first time I heard him whoops, change of plans, sorry guys. and dropped a fireball in the center of the table where the 'negotiations' had failed and the goblins were starting to rush the three of us sitting there thinking shit, this many goblins could really f*ck us up, and then he pulls out that fireball. on our heads. it HURT. only thing good was that we had more HP than the goblins, and he rolled low. we all survived, and the goblins didn't. the few remaining scampered soon as they failed their morale checks (you guys remember those?). the other time was fighting a sand-dragon, (bronze?) with lightning bolts.

Pavlos S. said: What are the most memorable lines from the games you've played? We walked into a room with all the big baddies we had been looking for, forever, and it looked like we had zero chance of living, let alone winning the encounter, when my buddy stole an old wrestling line. He sat up straight and in his character's voice said, "Well hello there, I have some good news and some bad news for you villains, the good news is that you have a choice of an ass-kicking or a cupcake, the bad news is that there was a run on the cupcakes." We all busted out laughing and did indeed carry the day, though just barely, but a good time was had by all.

1: "Ok, so it's finally my turn! I attack the inquisitor!" GM: "You really weren't listening, right?" 1: "Hm?" 2: "Damn... we should stop here, he's sleeping..." 1: "What?" 3: "Wow, we finished the inquisitors already, we're discussing what to do with the bodies!" 1: "Oh" ... playing at 6AM in a game we started at 10PM... e.e

"Mikael, the horse attempts to mount you." -DM We've found some moon radishes (basically viagra) and as a prank I gave some to my party member's horse; luckily horse's CBD roll was low enough for me to avoid that sad fate.