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Slips and Fall Hazards

The corridor ahead of them was packed on all sides with tangles of debris. Its ceiling began to slope downwards towards what appeared to be a dead end a few feet ahead of Varien and Erwen. Erwen’s sharp eyes picked out what appeared to be a pressure plate on the floor ahead of him. “That stone looks fishy,” he said. “Fishy how?” Varien asked. “There are fish bones scattered all over the place.” Erwen pressed the stone. The false stone retracted a few inches, and then there was a terrible grinding noise from above them. “Erwen, what did you-” Varien had time to throw up his shield as a gargantuan ship’s anchor, rusted and covered in long-calcified barnacles, fell on them with a resounding gong. “Dammit, Erwen!” Varien said as he disentangled himself from the trap. His ears were ringing from the glancing blow. “Told you it was fishy,” Erwen said weakly. Suddenly there was a twanging sound and a hail of crossbow bolts peppered the room, seemingly from beyond the corridor’s dead end. Varien winced as a bolt found a weak point in his armor, and then felt a second bolt strike home, this one making him feel dizzy and cold. “Poison?” Varien said through clenched teeth. “That’s not cricket.” “I’ll help!” Alec shouted from behind them. He rushed at the wall, shoulder extended and braced as he prepared to bash down the barrier. Instead, he ran right through the wall and disappeared. “What?” Varien exclaimed. Alec stumbled to a halt as he found himself in the midst of a party of Halflings, most of them armed with crossbows. Further up the corridor was a Halfling who held out a weird sort of cuttlefish totem. Beside him was a rough-looking sort with a hook and chain weapon. “This is the worst children’s birthday party I’ve ever been invited to!” Alec shouted as he swung the Trevelyan greatsword at the nearest target. Erwen wildshaped into the form of an ankylosaurus, a quadrupedal thunder lizard with bony armor plates and a spiked club-like tail that swung like a mace or morning star. He galloped towards the wall and rushed right through it. “What?” Varien exclaimed again. Lizard-wen swung his tail at the first Halfling he could see, braining it and sending the corpse spinning to strike the wall of the tunnel before it collapsed in a bloody heap. The Halfling who held the hook-and-chain’s eyes flashed with arcane knowledge. “Ah, beastie, I think it best if ye go for a swim!” he shouted as he cast suggestion on the wildshaped Druid. Lizard-wen shrugged off the magic. “Meow,” he said through his beaked maw. The assassin caught flat-footed before Alec disengaged and backpedaled up the hallway, firing off a shot from his crossbow that struck the barbarian knight. Alec could feel poison doing its work in his system. Another Halfling, this one armored and carrying a sword, strode up fearlessly towards the thunder lizard and stabbed at its armored body, penetrating a weak spot between armored plates. His second stab bounced harmlessly off the dinosaur’s spiked armor. The Halfling holding the cuttlefish totem aimed it at Alec and said in a magically-augmented voice, “Flee.” Alec recoiled as he fell under the influence of the enemy’s command spell. He began to sprint away from the battle, cursing his cowardice at the top of his lungs. Varien used his channel divinity ability to counteract the poison coursing through his system. “Where is Palas!” He shouted to the Halflings. “And call off your men!” Siegfried sighed and strode through the illusory wall. He then threw Hack at the Halfling who seemed to be running the show, and then misty stepped behind the Halfling as he dodged the ranged attack. As Hack thudded into the wall beside the Halfling, who was in the process of shouting “You missed!”, Siegfried bashed him with Lightbringer from behind. He used a defensive flourish to push the stumbling Halfling towards the ankylosaurus. “Unfortunately,” Siegfried’s voice carried above the din of the melee. “Palas has stolen someone from me. Now, who wants to help me find him?” Several of the Halflings shrank back, intimidated by Siegfried’s bearing. The wounded bandit carrying the cuttlefish was not one of them. “Don’t listen to him!” he rasped as he tried to catch his breath, on his hands and knees after being bashed by the half-orc. “Ah, the one who listens to me is the one who survives,” countered Siegfried. Bob used lesser restoration to cure the poison afflicting his fleeing brother and then marched into the fray, grabbing the obstinant Halfling and delivering a deadly shocking grasp that sent lightning energy up into the sewers of Neverwinter, rattling manhole covers. Lizard-wen smashed the Halfling enforcer with two strikes of his knobbly tail. The hook-and-chain Halfing rushed to the side of his prone companion and cast invisibility . The pair flickered and vanished. “No, you!” Bob shouted as he counterspelled the spell. The pair flickered back into visibility. “Damn,” Hook-and-Chain muttered. He patted his partner on the shoulder and then disengaged, beating a hasty retreat up the hallway. A Halfling assassin shot at Siegfried, who popped a shield spell in order to block the poisoned bolt. The Halfling shrugged and ran away. The Halfling Enforceer rounded on Varien, slashing him with a critical strike. The Halfling holding the cuttlefish struggled to his feet and pointed it at Bob and Erwen. “May the Bitch Queen take you to the depths in a STORM!” he shouted as he cast lightning bolt. A five-foot-wide bolt of lightning zapped in a straight line down the corridor, catching both Erwen and Bob in dazzling arcs that sent their extremities flailing. “Oh, so he’s a priest of Umberlee, obviously,” Bob said through chattering teeth. The priest winked and disengaged. “Enough of this!” Varien shouted. He expertly disarmed the enforcer with a flick of his sword hand. The enforcer winced in pain as he dropped his weapon. “Clearly someone wasn’t listening to my green friend here!” Varien roared as he savagely bashed the Halfling with his shield, and then, when his target was stumbling and disoriented, grappled him into a submission hold. Siegfried gave Varien an admiring nod. “Hold this small man up by his ankles, please.” Varien obliged. Siegfried bent over until his head was level with the dangling Halfling. “Hello,” he said with a smile. “I would like to make you happy in this unhappy situation. What would make you happy?” “We don’t want to hurt you,” Varien added, as much for Siegfried’s benefit as for the Halfling. “What would make me happy?” The Halfling said. He grinned. “You and your friends turning tail and leaving our turf would make me happy.” Varien sighed and bounced the Halfling’s head off the stone floor. Siegfried smiled even wider, showing teeth. “I’d like to leave you happy and alive , in case I wasn’t being clear before. What can you tell me about my lost friend?” He jerked his head in the direction of the fleeing Halfling pirates. “And no, I don’t think your friends will be coming back to rescue you.” This time, the Halfling’s grin was bloody. “Your friend was a fool!” he spat at Siegfried. Siegfried frowned theatrically. He pulled Hack from the wall and caught one of the Halfling’s hands up in his, pressing the blade of the axe against the prisoner’s pinky finger. “Now, now, your answers are not making me happy.” He applied just enough pressure to sever the Halfing’s finger, which fell to the floor with a splat. Bob frowned. “Whoa, whoa,” Varien said. Lizard-wen bashed the dangling Halfling like a pinata. The Halfling laughed and wheezed, delirious with pain. “If you don’t like my answers, then change your questions!” “Okay,” Siegfried gave the enforcer’s cheek a patronizing pat. “How many Halflings am I going to have to murder before I get the answers I desire?” “A lot,” The enforcer whispered. “Ah, or do you think Palas might be interested in a trade?” Siegfried said. “Do you think you’re worth it?” The Halfling, with as much pride as he could muster given his situation, shook his head. “I know my role.” “What about the undead in the waters back there?” Varien asked. The enforcer chuckled. “They’re there to take care of idiots who come into our domain the wrong way.” Varien was aghast. “You’re controlling them?” The enforcer chuckled again. “There’s no controlling them, just feeding them whatever scraps fall into our clutches.” Without thinking, Varien drew Fiendsbane across the Halfling’s waist, spilling his guts onto the stone floor. The paladin let go and the Halfling fell to the ground in two pieces. “That escalated quickly,” Siegfried said. “There’s no feeding the undead,” Varien said darkly. “There’s just the dead.” “I agree,” Siegfried said. He used Hack to take the enforcer’s helmeted head off beneath the chin, and then picked it up, bowling it underhand after the fleeing pirates. There was a thud in the darkness and one of the Halflings shouted in pain. “RUN FASTER!” Siegfried bellowed. He turned to his companions and used his mask of many faces to assume Hadow’s visage. “This one’s mine,” he said. “Don’t hurt him. We’re here to save him. All the others are yours for the slaying.” The party drew their weapons and rushed pell-mell after the Halflings. Varien and Siegfried rounded a corner and ran straight into an ambush. Siegfried took two bolts without flinching and picked up the head of the enforcer where it had fallen. He pitched it into the assassin’s lap. “It’s not too late to change sides!” he shouted. Bob stepped up and let loose a fire bolt, which turned the assassin into a pillar of ash before the half-orc. “Until it is,” Siegfried finished. Another heavy stone door blocked their way. Alec stepped up and bashed it open with his brawny torso. “Somebody get this man a portable ram!” Siegfried said. “His technique makes me feel uncomfortable.” Another group of Halfling pirates had taken up firing positions in the chamber beyond. Erwen dropped his wildshape and cast wall of fire , which ate up all the available space in the corridor and splashed against a t-junction, where it split in two directions, consuming everything in its path. There were screams within the flames, including a raspy wail that could only have belonged to the Priest of Umberlee. Two Halfling assassins, their bodies ablaze, stumbled free of the conflagration. “Things are heating up in here!” Erwen said, his eyes reflecting the magical fire. The assassins shot at Erwen with their crossbows. “Ouch!” the Halfling druid shouted. Varien rushed up and stabbed the first Halfling assassin, a lithe female. He used his shield to shove the second Halfling back into the flames. The assassin shrieked as he burned to a crisp. Siegfried entered the room and cast charm person on the cowering assassin. “There there,” he said softly, “there’s no need to be frightened. You’re among friends, and you’re going to want to help me.” The female Halfling blinked once in confusion, and then her eyes shone with friendship. Heedless of her bleeding wounds, she batted her eyelashes and said, “Hi there,” in a throaty voice. “Hello, beautiful,” Siegfried said, wiping ash from her face. “What’s your name?” “Belyra,” she answered. “Well, Belyra,” Siegfried continued. “My Halfling friend came by here last night. Do you know where he is?” He winked and gave her the full Half-orc smoulder. “Oh, yes,” Belyra said dreamily. “He had a purse full of coin, and was asking after a dead body or something like that. We thought it was pretty funny.” “Ha ha, hilarious,” Siegfried smiled. “Then what happened?” Belrya jerked her head towards the magical flames. “Well, Fosco thought it would be funny to take his money instead of making a trade. Then he hit the fellow over the head and told us to take him to the Cleaner.” “The Cleaner?” Siegfried replied. “Who or what is that?” “Oh, I don't exactly know what it is,” Belrya tittered. “Could be a gelatinous cube, or an ooze of some kind, all I know is, it eats whatever we feed it!” She laughed uproariously. “What’s so funny?” Siegfried asked, barely keeping the steel from his voice. “Fosco thought it would be extra-funny to take the Halfling to where we’d stashed the corpse and then feed both of them to the Cleaner!” “Can you take me to where you took the bodies?” Siegfried asked. Belyra nodded. “I’ll show you!” Siegfried turned to Erwen. “Small man, please douse the flames.” Erwen, fire in his eyes, obeyed. The fires stopped licking at the corridors. “Take your first left, and then another left, and head south!” Belyra said. “Let’s go!” Siegfried called to his companions. “There might still be time!”
The companions ran down the cinder-filled hallway heading towards a larger room. Siegfried grabbed Belyra and helped her keep up the pace. “Bash that door down and keep your eyes sharp!” Siegfried ordered. “You know, it might not be a good idea to back us into a corner, if what’s in that corner is some kind of hungry, amorphous blob,” Varien said to Siegfried. “You found out what happened to your agent, isn’t that enough?” “Varien, I wouldn’t let it eat you if I could help it,” Siegfried said. “It was my order that put Hadow into harm’s way. If there’s a chance I can save one of my best assets, I’ll take it.” Varien nodded. Alec and Varien used the ram to bash down another door. They found themselves in a storage room packed to the ceiling with various sundry items. “South!” Belyra sang out. Another door fell before them, and they were in a large room that featured a deep pit. A ledge circled the pit, and at the bottom was a grating in the floor like a sewer. At the far end of the pit was a stone slab, atop which were two bodies. Siegfried recognized Hadow. “There!” he shouted. Suddenly, there was a slick burbling sound as something began to bubble up from the grate. A semisolid ooze began to fill the pit. Erwen cast  conjure animals  and manifested two brown bears. “Yogi! Boo-Boo! Stay clear of any picnic baskets!” he shouted as he pointed towards the ooze. Siegfried smiled darkly as thoughts of controlling this creature and sending it against the Halflings entered his mind. He cast  charm monster . “You’re mine!” he shouted, his voice booming. The spell failed. “Damn,” Siegfried muttered. “Well, no matter. Small man, send your troops in, red in tooth and claw!” “Yogi! Boo-Boo! Take that ooze down!” Erwen shouted. Yogi gave Erwen a pained look, but obeyed the druid’s orders. In a flurry of brown fur, he and his companion bear bit and clawed the ooze, slashing it in places, but in return received acidic damage as they came into contact with the amorphous creature. “Ew!” Erwen said. “I regret this!” Alec ran around the edge of the ledge, intent on grabbing the bodies at the far end of the chamber. The ooze extended pseudopods towards the bears in an attempt to engulf them, but succeeded only in pushing the creatures back, its acidic form burning them. Bob cast a  healing spell  on Erwen and Siegfried, following up with a  healing word  on Erwen. Varien drew up Fiendsbane and shouted at the ooze, which seemed to be growing larger and larger by the second, filling the bowl-shaped pit rapidly. “Foul creature! You are a blight upon my eyes! LEAVE ME!” The paladin cast  banishment . There was a sudden  bloop  and the ooze disappeared into another plane of existence. “Excellent! Siegfried clapped his hands. “Tell me Varien, can you manipulate the moment of this creature’s return?” Varien, concentrating, nodded firmly. Erwen heard a commotion in the room behind him as what sounded like a herd of Halflings was galloping towards them. “By the gods,” someone shouted. “They’ve broken all the doors down!” Erwen shrugged at this. “Now then, lovey, what’s the quickest way to get back out of this warren?” Siegfried asked Belrya. “Head southwest and then east until you find your way back around to the riptide ghoul’s cavern!” Belyra chirped. “Good lass,” Siegfried said. To the rest of the party he said. “Throw up a blockade on the north side.” He pointed to the door in the southeast. “We’ll exit through that one, then barricade it until the Halflings have entered this room, and then bring that monstrous ooze back!” “I’ve got the bear necessities,” Erwen replied, ordering Yogi and Boo-Boo to guard the northern chamber. “But if you can give me a minute or ten, I can have us all walking on clouds!” Siegfried shook his head. “No time, that ooze will be back soon and the Slips are out for blood.” He took out his thieves’ tools and began to work on the lock. Over his shoulder he shouted to Hadow’s supine form. “On your feet, Harper!” He cast a healing word. With a cough and a groan, the Halfling agent sat up, holding his head, where a large goose-egg had formed. He looked at the corpse next to him. “Say, isn’t that the body I was supposed to buy?” “Yes, there’s still a chance for this to be a successful mission,” Siegfried said. Alec jumped down, grabbed the corpse, and climbed back up onto the ledge. Hadow scrambled after him. “Belyra, can you try and stall your friends?” Siegfried asked. “I can sure try, but I think they’re going to be mad at me!” Belyra replied. “Do what you can!” Siegfried said, blowing her a kiss. Belyra’s cheeks reddened, then she scampered past Yogi and Boo-Boo. “Anyone got a weapon?” Hadow asked. Siegfried tossed him a shortsword. The lock made a popping sound and the door swung open. Siegfried took a confident step forward. And fell through the floor. “Agh!” Siegfried shouted as he  misty stepped  back onto the ledge. “One almost admires the Slips’ defences!” He poked at the illusory floor beneath him. The bears roared and lunged at unseen foes in the next chamber. There were frightened shouts and the clanging of steel. Erwen turned to Siegfried, who was gingerly poking at the illusory floor in the southwestern chamber. “Bet you wish you had a cloud now.”