Blenheim Palace

Camille raises a finger to her childe in warning. "Then he will not allow you to leave this place and covenant law rules in his favour. Francis is faster and stronger than us, but right now he is merely toying with your pride. Rise above it."

Aubrey pulls away, looking at once dejected and hurt. "Aren't you, like, Camille Renoux? Are you not a master of Majesty? Are members of the circle completely helpless?" She looks around herself, gaze running across the cracked walls and shattered foundations of the cell. "I don't even know, like, what the fuck I'm doing and did this . With your  blood, right? Cammy what can you  do?"  The words are tinged with frustration; a helplessness altogether foreign and frightening to the young starlet, and yet beneath it all, genuine pleading — a child looking to the parent they'd thought all-knowing and invincible, only to finally spot the vulnerable person within.

"A great deal," Camille remarks dyrly, "and with that bloodline and mastery comes the responsibility of knowing when to wield it and when to stay your hand. If I start a war with Francis de la Fontaine tonight, then there will be consequences. Not just from Francis, but from all of kindred society. Consequences of the likes of which I hope that you never have to see. Now pull yourself together and pay lip service to the man so that I can take you home without spilling a single drop of vitae."

Aubrey’s eyes widen. Her sire sounded so sure. She always does,  she corrected herself. Yet it was… startlingly refreshing to hear once again. All anyone in the circle had expressed of Francis so far was how much they felt pathetically outmatched by him. It was sickening. Yet hearing Cammy speak of consequences and spilled vitae struck a new nerve standing amidst her own trail of destruction; one still raw and bleeding into the room around her. One she was eager to press further. ”…alright,” she shrugs, “let’s be done with it then.”

Camille drapes a motherly arm about Aubrey's shoulders and escorts her childe out of the cell and back up the dark corridor into the light. The door to the surveillance room is closed and Francis and Rae are waiting outside. "Have we come to an agreement?" Francis asks Camille congenially. "We have," Camille confirms, glancing down at Aubrey.

Aubrey shifts uncomfortably as they come into the room. It’d been only a matter of days and yet it’d felt a matter of months.The air felt different ー fresher. She shuffled in quietly behind her sire. Though not deliberately shrinking from Francis’ view, she nonetheless clung to Camille’s shadow a pup at its mother’s heel. Yet what drew her eyes was not the creep of an elder but who stood besides him. Raziel. Of-fucking-course. Their eyes meet for but a second, but the coldness of her glare drips through the air between them thereafter.  Refinishing   instead on her grandsire, she steels herself. One question lingered though.  “Before anything, I want to know one thing. What the fuck was with the like, random human in the cell when I woke up? Was he food or like…? What was that about?”

Rae feels a tinge of anxiety as the footsteps of Aubrey and Camille echo down the hall towards the surveillance room. When the door opens, the sight of Aubrey is just what she'd expected. The Daeva looks pallid, still carrying the markers of the choices she'd made just before she was staked. And in her eyes Rae feels the desperate fury that her ordeal had inspired. A fury that she had no problem casting Rae's way, but Rae holds the young woman's stare and attempts to put on as happy an expression as the circumstance allows.  "Hello, Bri. It's been an honor to meet your maker."

"The thrall?" Francis asks with mild amusement. "You fed on him, didn't you? What else would he be for?"

It’s been an honor to meet your maker.  Aubrey’s eyes roll as she fights the urge to reply telling the girl she’d meet her own soon if she didn’t shut up. She turns back to Francis instead. ”I don’t know, he seemed odd and was gone before I did get around to a snack. I thought… whatever. Anyway…”  She shakes her head and sighs. One word separated her from getting the fuck away from this creep and his scorpion-tailed little grandchilde. One word ended the whole affair. One word would let her rest in her own bed and start on the path to one day ripping his throat out. Yet that one word felt like tar clinging to the walls of her throat as it fought at every turn to rise to her lips, Gritting her teeth, her fingers curled into a fist that quickly turned white. ”…sorry.”  Her lips curl over the word. Immediately she turns to Cammy, eyes firmly pleading to leave.

"The poor thing's a little shell-shocked," Camille explains, sheltering her childe like a baby chick beneath her arm as she gracefully smooths over the forced apology. "What my progeny means to say, Lord de la Fontaine, is that she's dreadfully sorry for her uncouth manner. Any offence was entirely unintentional. I'm afraid that Aubrey isn't yet used to mingling with her betters. It's my fault - I spoil her. I'm sure that she appreciates the valuable lesson. She will undoubtedly continue to benefit from it for the rest of her requiem." The sweet, shining smile that adorns Camille's lips is so deathly still that it has a distinctly predatory air to it. Her words hang thick in the air for several long moments, neither vampire moving at all, until Francis finally breaks the tension. "...but of course, my lady," he submits inclining his head in acquiescence. "You are most welcome." He's barely finished speaking and Camille sweeps past the pair, heading for the door and her car.

Rae had barely moved since speaking to Aubrey, and as Camille walks her childer out of the building, the young Khaibit looks to her grandsire.  "...this isn't over, is it? At the very least, the look that Bri gave me tells me that she'll try to hurt me."

Aubrey's jaw clenches as she listens to Cammy's overwrought apology. The 'corrections' she'd kill to make are numerous and increasingly colourful, but before she can lose the fight against her patience, she finds herself being whisked back through Blenheim and out into the murky light of the midnight sun. The moon hangs high overhead, a beacon to her freedom, and she lingers in the cold air as the car doors open, her eyes widening to match the satellite's fullness. For the first time in days, the true weight of the last few days wears upon her: Finding Rae. Meeting her. Hera's hysterics. Francis' psychotics. The fire. Odin's hands. Running. Returning. Being dominated . Killing a mortal and getting staked. Being imprisoned and tortured and starved and forced to fight to stay awake using the last bits of her vitae to crack the fucking world  open if it meant ripping the core out to find her salvation. And she was out. Free. Here in the vastness of the nighttime sky with the only person in the world that ever made her feel safe.  When she sits besides Cammy in the car moments later, and the doors close and wheels begin to move, she waits only until the gates of Blenheim are beyond them to leap across the seats towards her, embracing her sire for the second time that evening in a tight hug. Her voice is uncharacteristically meek when she whispers. "... thank you, Camille ..."

Kai S. said: Rae had barely moved since speaking to Aubrey, and as Camille walks her childer out of the building, the young Khaibit looks to her grandsire.  "...this isn't over, is it? At the very least, the look that Bri gave me tells me that she'll try to hurt me." Francis shakes his head with a wry grin. "Perhaps. One way or another, it's not the last you've seen of that one. Take care, certainly, but the minds of the young and impulsive can change like the wind." Vesh said: Aubrey's jaw clenches as she listens to Cammy's overwrought apology. The 'corrections' she'd kill to make are numerous and increasingly colourful, but before she can lose the fight against her patience, she finds herself being whisked back through Blenheim and out into the murky light of the midnight sun. The moon hangs high overhead, a beacon to her freedom, and she lingers in the cold air as the car doors open, her eyes widening to match the satellite's fullness. For the first time in days, the true weight of the last few days wears upon her: Finding Rae. Meeting her. Hera's hysterics. Francis' psychotics. The fire. Odin's hands. Running. Returning. Being dominated . Killing a mortal and getting staked. Being imprisoned and tortured and starved and forced to fight to stay awake using the last bits of her vitae to crack the fucking world  open if it meant ripping the core out to find her salvation. And she was out. Free. Here in the vastness of the nighttime sky with the only person in the world that ever made her feel safe.  When she sits besides Cammy in the car moments later, and the doors close and wheels begin to move, she waits only until the gates of Blenheim are beyond them to leap across the seats towards her, embracing her sire for the second time that evening in a tight hug. Her voice is uncharacteristically meek when she whispers. "... thank you, Camille ..." Camille waits for a few long moments, patting Aubrey's hair soothingly until the girl's grip finally loosens. "You are an actress, are you not, Aubrey?" She asks coolly.

Aubrey pulls back, a bit confused by the question. "I am..."

Camille nods.  "...and would you consider the performance that you just gave a worthy showcase of your skills?"

Aubrey opens her mouth, then hesitates, frowning. "You mean like, in not apologising as 'properly' as you did?"  She turns to the window, running a finger over the switch of the window. "What does it matter? I said sorry, didn't I?"

Stormchaser said: Francis shakes his head with a wry grin.  "Perhaps. One way or another, it's not the last you've seen of that one. Take care, certainly, but the minds of the young and impulsive and can change like the wind." Rae nods, wondering just how Bri's sire would truly react now that the pair were out of Blenheim. Parker had said that Francis is unique among Elders, that he is driven by purpose like few others. After seeing his behavior to this point, should I expect worse from others of his age? "So, do we return to acquainting me to swordplay? Or did you have something else in mind?"  The earlier events of the evening suddenly rush back to her, lacing her tone with subtle panic. "The Strix took my brother. I need to go after it as soon as possible. I need to be ready as soon as possible."

Vesh said: Aubrey opens her mouth, then hesitates, frowning. "You mean like, in not apologising as 'properly' as you did?"  She turns to the window, running a finger over the switch of the window. "What does it matter? I said sorry, didn't I?" Camille sighs wearily. "This was your opportunity to be the manipulator. To play the social game. Appease Francis. Disarm him. If you put a man at ease, he'll never see your betrayal coming. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, as they say. Instead, you let him wield your pride against you like a weapon. Instead of showing dignity, you embarrassed yourself by acting like a sullen child and for what? Hardly a performance worthy of the Aubrey Knight. Or would you send that tape to your next director? We are Daeva . Our strength lies in the web of bonds and relationships that makes up the world around us. When you can play those strings skilfully, they are as lethal as any blade." Kai S. said: Rae nods, wondering just how Bri's sire would truly react now that the pair were out of Blenheim. Parker had said that Francis is unique among Elders, that he is driven by purpose like few others. After seeing his behavior to this point, should I expect worse from others of his age? "So, do we return to acquainting me to swordplay? Or did you have something else in mind?"  The earlier events of the evening suddenly rush back to her, lacing her tone with subtle panic. "The Strix took my brother. I need to go after it as soon as possible. I need to be ready as soon as possible." Francis frowns when Rae mentions her brother. "The mortal? When? Where?"

"My brother appeared on my doorstep demanding to be turned three nights ago, having discerned that I'm Kindred through some online forum. He threatened to reveal his knowledge to the Kindred of Oxford, so I sought the aid of a Ventrue member of the Pythia Concord, Dr. Daniel McDermott. He agreed to hold Gabriel for 3 days in exchange for 3 days of service. But when I visited him earlier tonight to follow up, he revealed his nature as a Strix and pursued me out of the building. That was when I made the distress call that brought you to campus. The last time I saw my brother, he was under the effects of Ventrue Domination 2 nights ago."

"The question is if McDermott was already possessed by the Strix when you brought him Gabriel, or if it followed you to him and later claimed the doctor to gain access to you." Francis muses.

Thinking back to the details of their first meeting, Rae recalls that Dr. McDermott had a cat following him just like any other Kindred on campus. "I believe it was the latter. When I met him, McDermott had one of the unique cat companions that are following all Kindred recently. Tonight, it was gone."

Camille sighs wearily. "This was your opportunity to be the manipulator. To play the social game. Appease Francis. Disarm him. If you put a man at ease, he'll never see your betrayal coming. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, as they say. Instead, you let him wield your pride against you like a weapon. Instead of showing dignity, you embarrassed yourself by acting like a sullen child and for what? Hardly a performance worthy of  the  Aubrey Knight. Or would  you  send that tape to your next director? We are  Daeva . Our strength lies in the web of bonds and relationships that makes up the world around us. When you can play those strings skilfully, they are as lethal as any blade." Aubrey crosses her arms. Brow furrowing, the greying skin pulls taut below sunken eyes and a pointed jawline only accentuated by the growing effects of her wonton and hunger. A thousand reasons Cam was wrong raced across her mind and over the tip of her tongue, but the thing that held them back was the unfortunate and altogether unpleasant truth that she was, in fact, right.Not that that’d usually stop the starlet from finding another truth to lean on but, well, it was Camille Renoux. ”Fine,”  she groans, “but don’t say I don’t deserve  to be as spoiled as you say I am.”  Leaning forward, she hastily raps her knuckles against the backboard to the front of the car, calling to the driver. “Turn around. We’re heading back.”

Kai S. said: Thinking back to the details of their first meeting, Rae recalls that Dr. McDermott had a cat following him just like any other Kindred on campus. "I believe it was the latter. When I met him, McDermott had one of the unique cat companions that are following all Kindred recently. Tonight, it was gone." "What do you know about that?" Francis asks with interest.  "I don't have one either. For that matter, where's yours?" Vesh said: Camille sighs wearily. "This was your opportunity to be the manipulator. To play the social game. Appease Francis. Disarm him. If you put a man at ease, he'll never see your betrayal coming. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, as they say. Instead, you let him wield your pride against you like a weapon. Instead of showing dignity, you embarrassed yourself by acting like a sullen child and for what? Hardly a performance worthy of  the  Aubrey Knight. Or would  you  send that tape to your next director? We are  Daeva . Our strength lies in the web of bonds and relationships that makes up the world around us. When you can play those strings skilfully, they are as lethal as any blade." Aubrey crosses her arms. Brow furrowing, the greying skin pulls taut below sunken eyes and a pointed jawline only accentuated by the growing effects of her wonton and hunger. A thousand reasons Cam was wrong raced across her mind and over the tip of her tongue, but the thing that held them back was the unfortunate and altogether unpleasant truth that she was, in fact, right.Not that that’d usually stop the starlet from finding another truth to lean on but, well, it was Camille Renoux. ”Fine,”  she groans, “but don’t say I don’t deserve  to be as spoiled as you say I am.”  Leaning forward, she hastily raps her knuckles against the backboard to the front of the car, calling to the driver. “Turn around. We’re heading back.” Camille shakes her head. "There's no point in that now. You don't just get another try at these things. Start with Raziel instead. Reach out to her. Keep her close. Nurture that connection. Consider it an asset. You don't have to like her, as long as she believes that you do."

“I can and I will,”  she says firmly. “Turn the car around. We’re barely gone thirty seconds and you spoke for me before I could finish. It is not difficult to like, walk back to the door and apologise properly on my own.”  She knocks again on the board, harder this time.

"Oh, he's right..." Rae turns to look behind her, expecting to see a little black void of fur with yellow eyes peeking out from a dark corner of the room. But as she looks around, she finds no sign of her strange feline. Fuck. "I'm sure that he's around, he's shadowed my every move for over a week. Though knowing now that he can repel Strix does makes his absence a tad more ominous..." 

Vesh said: “I can and I will,”  she says firmly. “Turn the car around. We’re barely gone thirty seconds and you spoke for me before I could finish. It is not difficult to like, walk back to the door and apologise properly on my own.”  She knocks again on the board, harder this time. "Very well," Camille wearily assents, before pushing a button in the car door.  "Dale, take us back to Blenheim." The car continues on to Bladon roundabout, before making a full turn and heading back towards Woodstock. Kai S. said: "Oh, he's right..." Rae turns to look behind her, expecting to see a little black void of fur with yellow eyes peeking out from a dark corner of the room. But as she looks around, she finds no sign of her strange feline. Fuck. "I'm sure that he's around, he's shadowed my every move for over a week. Though knowing now that he can repel Strix does makes his absence a tad more ominous..."  "You're positive that it was the cat that did that?" Francis asks Rae, still dubious.

"Positive. A shimmering manifestation of a golden lotus appeared above his head, bathing the area in light. The Strix tried to overwhelm it, but couldn't and fled. Then Lotus purred and walked circles around my legs like he had a dozen times before, as if nothing had happened."

"Fascinating..." Francis muses. "The creature is undoubtedly more than a mere cat. We should find it."

Rae crosses her arms, wondering if Lotus is able to travel by magical means.  "When I peered into its mind with Auspex, I saw that it is wildly intelligent. Moreso than myself. And I saw images of the Pyramids of Giza as well. Then a great  desert, with a burning red star in the sky above  an enormous stone statue of a cat." Absentmindedly, she looks around again to see if Lotus were sauntering across some corner of the space. "I'm sure that Lotus will find his way to me. In the meantime, can you tell me what can be done for my brother? I need to find him, and I'd be incapable of defending him or myself with my current influence over the dark."

Francis fixes Rae with a pointed stare. "Why am I only now hearing this for the first time? Surely you're familiar with that symbology?"

"We've had little time to sit still and chat, Francis. The events of the last two nights alone will ripple out into the rest of my unlife. When the cats first arrived I saw an image reminiscent of Sekhmet. This all coincides with the emergence of my Khaibit bloodline, what do you make of it all?"

"Are you sure it was Sekhmet?" Francis asks thoughtfully. "This sounds more like Bast."

Rae thinks back to that terrible night, remembering losing herself to Wassail more than anything else. "It was difficult to tell. The figure was surrounded by cats, but did have the head of lioness. From what I understand, Bastet is often depicted as a cat and carries a gentler affect. There was nothing gentle about the entity I saw."

"Bast can also be a lioness," Francis notes, "but she's a protector goddess. Sekhmet is a chaotic and bloodthirsty force. These cats seem more benign than disruptive."

"Right. Based on their general behaviors and what Lotus demonstrated tonight, it seems that they're protecting us. Which would explain why the Strix would kill the cat of the Kindred it possessed tonight." Rae begins to pace, reviewing each part of the story. "So what does that mean for us? How will we proceed?"

"By interviewing a cat," Francis explains with a shrug. "I suspect that several vampires in the city have done this already. Those at Univ and Hertford have almost certainly gone about this in a coordinated manner. Uncover what they have learned."

Rae nods. "The Concord seems to have already uncovered a few details themselves. I'll coordinate with my contacts and compare what we know to what Univ and Hertford have learned." Having a plan of action always set Rae's mind at ease. But no comfort accompanied this decision, for a threat still loomed. "And about my brother? The Strix will likely use him as leverage. Or just torture him for its own amusement."

"The Strix has no resources or haven of its own," Francis points out. "Find where McDermott would have taken him. Take care, lest mortal attachment be your undoing."

At the mention of mortal attachment, Rae feels a wave of exhaustion. An almost peaceful resignation to what she knows must be done. "Yes, this will be the last of it. I will save my brother's life, and disappear from my family. I'll fabricate the details of my death. It will crush them." Slowly, crimson beads of Vitae forms at the corners of her eyes. But she wipes them away and takes a deep breath. "But this is how it must be. So, the strategy is evasion once I find him? Without the  Pseshkf or Lotus, I'm helpless. Can I carry him into shadow with me?"

"An intriguing proposal," Francis replies. "It might be possible. The question is if you can pull it off. I admit, it would please me to destroy the creature, if I can. Perhaps, in this, you are the bait?"

Rae is silent for several seconds, contemplating her options as they rise from the lower levels of the castle. "I'll have to try. It is the only choice I have at the moment. I'll be the bait, draw the dread thing out, then disappear with Gabriel so that you can make your move." She stops as they pass by the many mounted blades of the training area and breaks her stride to reenter the room. "May we continue training for the moment? We can carry out this plan tomorrow evening at the haven of McDermott, but I need to continue learning if I'm to one day wield the  Pseshkf."

Francis gestures for Rae to enter and her education in the ways of the asp continues.

Barely a scant two minutes had passed since the door to Blenheim closed behind Aubrey did the crackle of tires on pavement once more preempt a knock at the door as Aubrey — and only Aubrey — stood again at its threshold.

The door opens with a creak to reveal Francis's ever-present manservant, James. "Good evening, Miss Knight," he greets Aubrey cordially. "Have you forgotten something?"

"I have,"  Aubrey says matter-of-factly, "Something I needed to say properly to your master, so fetch him for me, would you please?"

James steps inside, leaving the door open to allow Aubrey to enter behind him. He picks up an old fashioned telephone from its stand on a side table in the entry hall and waits for a few moments before talking. "Sorry to bother you, sir, but Aubrey Knight is here." "Yes, sir." "Yes, sir. She does." "Very well, sir." "Right this way, please," James tells Aubrey, setting the phone down, before escorting her back downstairs to the training room. Inside, it is pitch black, but for the dim glow of the screens and what light spills in through the opened door. Francis has been putting Rae's skills and senses to the test. "Miss Knight, we meet again," Francis remarks as the lights flicker to life, setting the blade in his hand back on a weapons rack.

“We do,”  Aubrey nods, paying no mind to Raziel nearby. “We made it barely to the end of the drive before I could get the driver to stop and reverse.”  Glancing around, her eyes pass over the wall of weapons to his side and land momentarily on a familiar-looking crossbow. “It may come as quite a shock to hear this but I have a fair amount of pride. And that pride can perhaps get me into trouble but I will not abandon it. One thing that pride will not abide, however, is someone else apologising on my behalf. Lady Renoux spoke for me before I’d had a chance to finish and pulled me from here before I could protest. But she is not here now, and I would speak for myself. Forgive me, I have a lot to say but I will try to speak quickly.” Inhale. Hold. Eyes gently close. She knew not which was stronger here, which would win out in when next she opened her mouth: years of classes, both formal and otherwise, taught by a dozen of the greatest thespians of the modern age ー and one even older ー all carving out a deep well of inspirations to draw from… or the seemingly bottomless one of absolute loathing she felt for the man before her. “When we met the other day, on the quad of Brasenose, I was like, really  scared. My superiors at the college warned that you would come for me because Rae and I initially met under poor circumstances and I had felt forced to use my own majesty  on her. She seemed a threat to the masquerade of Oxford, and I’d been told to find her and all that. Luckily we moved past that, right Rae-rae?”  She tilts her head warmly to the girl. “Anyway when you did  show up, I, and I believe my professor as well, thought you’d come to kill me to defend your bloodline. When I realised you had seemingly no interest in that and had come simply because Rae’s abilities had awakened, I felt relieved, but still on edge. Then you dominated me and, you couldn’t possibly have known it but…”  she swallows, the words catching like barbs on her tongue, “…but I have experienced… horrors from that manner of power at the hands of one worse-intentioned than you. I think, even if it was just for a moment… it brought that memory to mind in a most unpleasant way. It destroyed a part of me without my realisation. But that’s not on you, that’s on the creep who did that to me.” She pauses, as much for dramatic effect as for actual need to steady herself, the rawness of the words being spoken surprising herself even. “After that I just… overreacted. When you said you could teach me that power a possibility I’d only ever dreamed of seemed to present itself, and in the moment it seemed lost to me I lost myself, and for that, Lord De la Fontaine, I am  genuinely sorry.” Beat. “And that’s it. I appreciate the rest and relaxation you provided as a means to clear my head, it did wonders for me. I imagine you are not terribly interested in my own history, but I would prefer to have cleared the air as much as is possible. And if that suffices for you I will be gone, for good this time. That said, what I said that night about having something to offer you  is  still true. If there is some way I can prove myself to you, I would endeavour to do so. Because…”  Her eyes narrow focusing on his own, though looking through them; beyond. “… I still wish dearly to harness that power. Because I want to meet that man again one day ー maybe not tomorrow, or even this century, but one day ー and I want to look him in the eye as his will crumbles before mine and say “Hello. My name is Aubrey Knight. You put me through hell. Prepare to die.”

The exasperation that Rae feels as Aubrey intrudes upon the training session renders her completely silent. No doubt she were here to attempt a manipulation, despite making it very clear from her countenance that she likely now wanted both Francis and herself dead as she was led out by her maker. So Rae simply replaces her weapon upon the rack and sits down in the center of the training area, patiently waiting for the Daeva to conclude her little soliloquy. When Aubrey acknowledges her for the first time with an ever-so-charming dismissal of their first encounter, she pours all of a very pointed 'fuck you too' into the curve of a smirk.   But then, Bri surprises her. She seems to demonstrate a sincere vulnerability, speaking to experiences she'd never even hinted at before. By all appearances, this is a sincere apology and plea to be allow back into the fold and taught of Domination. For a few seconds, Rae feels a sense of connection to the Daeva, a wish to trust her and help her. But that is quickly overshadowed by what she knows of the young woman, that even if this story is true, it is being used as a means of inspiring exactly what she's feeling now. No, she'd seen the angler's face. And now, in the darkness of ambiguity, out comes the lovely lure to engender a sense of safety and wonder.  Rae will have none of it, remaining silent as she watches impassively for Francis's reaction.

"Revenge is a motivation that I can understand - respect, even," Francis acknowledges with a nod of understanding. "You have your own goals, of course. Everyone in this world of darkness does. If you would earn my favour, then you can begin by assisting Raziel in the retrieval of her mortal brother. He is a distraction that needs to be taken off the board."

Aubrey blinks in surprise. “The one she gave to her professor at Keble? Who also  threatens to break the masquerade?”  With a turn once more to Raziel she adopts a look of concern, though a hint of amusement cannot help but creep into her voice. “Didn’t you tell me you needed, like, a gift of a mortal or something?” “I mean, of course I’d be overjoyed to help but also like, I know socializing is more my  thing luv but surely a mekhet of your talents can catch at least one fly with that Ally Sheedy-before-the-makeover breakfast club vibe, right?”