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Two degenerate nerds looking for group. Free private islands in the description.

Kyle, a tryhard douchebag and myself, a smarmy shitposter, are looking for a group that plays at least weekly. We just quit Project1999 after essentially winning Everquest (almost twenty years later... that name ain't lyin') so you know we're hard core. Basically looking for an extended campaign and a group of half sane people that aren't pass out on the keyboard/creepy facebook stalker-level drug addicts or irredeemably autistic. We're all a little racist and insensitive but if your group hosts any members who identify as white supremacists, afrocentrists or members of the taliban we might not get along so good. We're open to new systems but are only familiar with Pathfinder and 5e. Our schedules are pretty open because Kyle is a loser and I'm, uh, writing a book or some other respectable excuse. Just a warning, Kyle sucks at everything, he's like a baby but smells worse. Don't tell him I said that, it'll be between us.
I would chat with you about a lost mines of phandelver module i plan running if you are interested.
Now THIS is a noteworthy application! (or a cry for help.. hihi).