Short Hand Dictation
Apparently, I’m supposed to write my thoughts and
experiences down for a potential keepsake or book deal that Ethel thinks
will happen after this hero business takes off. So I am orally
dictating this to my intelligent and amazing grandson, Shorty, because I
am lazy and dumb and I don’t proof read things so I won’t know what he
is writing because he is the best and is trustworthy and is getting
great grades.Anyhow, so we arrived back from Antarctica, and…. Are you
writing this down? You are not going to get that gold star if you do not
write every damn word I say.Okay now, where were we. Oh yeah, so Snake
Person, Pawnchy and I were out the rest of the weekend with a contest of
sorts. I went and save myself in another dimension, but lets not get
into that.
This better be written without grammtical errors if they are gonna
believe its me. So run this thru word or something after okay?
So Ethel made a bunch of money. Your other you I guess got a bunch.
No you don’t get any money for this so stop asking. This is your normal
duties. So I gave her a gift in her living room. You should ask your
twin about it. Oh he told you? Yes its a smaller version of the one in
the living room. Are you writing our conversation right now down? No
just the story, not this. Ok so stop writing our current conversation.
Yes you can have some of the bagel bites you left in the freezer after
you are done. No, they are not the ones from space, they are just the
earth ones. I am not going to make a trip just for bagel bites. Eat
those or you can get your own with your own money. Hurry up, I don’t
want to have to keep doing this. Let’s speed this stupid story up so we
can stop wasting time with this dumb villain and get on to something
better like finishing the repairs like you said you would help me do.
So the stupid Papa Zombie.
The day started out with people at that sword guy’s place. The one
with the robot I modified, yes the arch nemesis to Megatron. So I am
sitting there minding my own business as they bicker about their
adventures over the weekend, when news pops on the TV about the return
of the liberty bell. Ethel asks me about it and before I can get into
sharing details she cuts me off. I guess they don’t really care about
the work it took. Who won? Well it wasn’t the other me with that stupid
nickname. I left his bell at the bar. I can’t believe he started liking
that nickname after a while. Oh well. I guess when people want to try to
attack you all day every day your mind gets dull and you accept stupid
tags. So back to this story so we can be done. I get cut off they talk
about different going ons and then Ethel goes to work. So I decide I
better go. I guess a few stayed behind or something. I heard Black
Phantom mind fucked the sentaur guy. Make sure you spell that right.
C-E-N-T-A-U-R. I see you trying to scribble the other word out. Just
keep going and you can take care of it later. So apparently they are
intimate and are spending lots of time together in each other’s minds.
Who am I to judge this what century? No really what is it? Oh ok.
Sometimes I forget what year it is still. The whole dying and coming
back at a different time keeps messing me up. So the two lovers do their
thing and we eventually meet up at Spirit Enterprises. Ethel drives me
because I was focused on a gadget I am working on. Yes I will show you
it, but you cant share it with anyone yet. Put the notepad down and step
back.
So that is what that does. So the chief of police woman had me
distracted I thought she was the secretary. She seemed to know me, but I
was busy in thought. Next we met and talked about this Papa Zombie guy.
Yes, we will get to what the news said about that later. So we discuss
different options. I say my few thoughts on the matter and sword guy
gets all upset. He says something about innocents and how I have no
respect for life. Apparently he forgot how he went all ISIS on some of
those fools in Antarctica, getting ready to slit their throats. So I let
him say his peace. We get done and discuss the logistics of the group.
It takes forever, just like every damn morning at sword guy’s. So we
make our way to the crime scene. As we arrive we are debriefed by the
police. Apparently the black phantom guy, which I still don’t know why
he has that name. Its not like he turns into a ghost. They should call
him Mind Bullet or something. At least that would be more accurate to
what he can do. Or take out the phantom part of his name. So he sees
some lion man about to be killed by Papa Zombie down the street. So
everyone flies off except for C-E-N-T-A-U-R man who is now Beast from
X-Men or whatever. He I guess went down the street and snuck off on his
own. What was I doing? I was observing, but I was also hanging back
letting this group figure out their identity. So they did, kinda till
that thing happened. Is that good for now? I need your help real quick.
Put the paper down. No stop writing what I am saying and hel~~~~~