The Daily Bugle
Newspaper
Friday June
1, 2018
National
News
Gear Head and Blast Furnace Bust Bank
(Georgia,
Kingsland)
Two members of the dreaded Mind
Warper and the Fatal Five super villain group descended on a Kingsland bank
over the lunch hour today. The armor wearing ‘Blast Furnace’ and the
half-robotic Gear Head escaped with cash and securities valued at in excess of
half a million dollars from the Kingland’s Commerce and Trust.
Robbery was not the only thing
on the pairs agenda however. Gear Head interfaced with the bank computer and
deleted all the records pertaining to one or more account holders. The FBI’s
computer forensic team is trying to decipher the virus that Gear Head
introduced to the system to determine which account holders were affected.
The pair fled the scene in Gear
Head’s flying vehicle before the police arrived.
Local News
SAT Pursues Human Trafficker
FBI Contests Jurisdictional Overreach
(New
York, Plattekill
Town)
Following up on leads developed in Arvin California SAT continued pursuing a
nationwide circle of human slavers. The street gang known as the Black Muslims
has been capturing white women and selling them to black men as slaves for the
past two years. Torturing their victims into submission, then selling them
across the country.
The raid yielded the arrest of four members of the Black Muslims and
rescued five women who had not yet been broken. Unfortunately only a few hours
prior to the raid a ‘shipment’ of twenty women departed the compound where they
were being held.
Jerold Anthony, a SAT spokesman, has promised that they will not rest
until these unfortunates are rescued. However statement of hope is not the end
of the story.
Special Agent Reuben Ayers has demanded that SAT turn over all the
information concerning their actions against the Black Muslims to the FBI and
cease their involvement in the case. The kidnapping of people and transporting
them across state lines places the jurisdiction of the case squarely in the
hand of the Bureau. SAT is a state level organization that deals with super
powered treats. There is no evidence that the Black Muslims are anything but a
division of organized crime, which is also under the purview of the FBI.
We will, of course, request the aid of local and state law enforcement
when there is the appropriate need, but this is clearly a matter for the FBI.
SAT must relinquish their material and allow us to continue from this point
onward. New York SAT has thus far refused to
comply with the Bureau’s request and seems intent to finish what California SAT began.
The FBI has
filed suit on the matter which is before Judge Lester Bowen.
World News
Pirate Plunder, Does it Belong To the Church?
(Surinam,
Paramaribo)
In the deep basement recesses of
a long abandoned church Chad Williams, amateur archeologist and treasure
hunter, has found what could be the tip of an iceberg, a golden iceberg.
While exploring the decaying shell of an old church Mr. Williams, armed
with a metal detector, found a few gold coins under a thin layer of dirt. The
coins were mostly Spanish and dated to around the year 1660, a period where Caribbean piracy was rampant but one coin stood out. It
was a copper disk that bore the personal mark of Hui Xinyi Li, an obscure but
very interesting figure. Not only was Hui Xinyi Li a pirate with a bloodthirsty
reputation Li was also one of very few Chinese pirate captains active in the New World. Li was also one of extremely few female pirate
captains.
There has been a long standing rumor that Li was the lover of Lord
Cardinal Terrence Tirrell. According to the rumor he provided her with a Letter
of Marque (permission to plunder Spanish ships) and a letter instructing
churches to offer her hospitality.
The rumor also suggests that she hid vast amounts of plunder at the
churches she used for refuge.
Mr. Williams
is trying to get permission from the Surinam government and the church,
who stills owns the property, to conduct a more intensive excavation of the
site.
The Daily Bugle
Newspaper
Wednesday June
6, 2018
National
News
Museum Vaults Plundered By Mole Machine
(Connecticut,
Redding)
During the Civil War, some
hundred and fifty years ago, the Gilbert & Bennett Factory produced wire
mesh cloth used in window screens. Today the building is a museum commemorating
the ‘war between the states’, the men who fought on both sides, and the
equipment used in America’s
bloodiest war.
Someone decided to purloin some
of the relics housed in the museum.
Only a portion of the collection
is on display at any current time. The rest of it is stored in underground
caves and caverns that are kept, by Mother Nature, at a perfect temperature and
humidity to preserve the items. Someone forced their way into the caverns using
a ‘mole machine’ digging up from even more extreme depths.
Palmer
Ritch, the curator, said that the items stolen were of valuable from the
perspective of historical curiosity but had little monetary value.
Local News
New Restaurant
Chain Anchor Opens Amidst NOW and CWA Protests
(New York, New York
City)
The Racks BBQ House celebrates its Grand Opening
today. The flagship location covers three floors and more than 8000 square
feet. The menu is second to none with an impressive selection of fare and a bar
that could stagger the imagination of Dionysus.
With these things going for it why would the
National Organization of Women and the Concerned Women of America be protesting
against it? Why, because of the service that accompanies the food and drink.
No one under the age of 18 is allowed admittance to
the restaurant.
The décor is themed after a medieval torture chamber
and the staff, believe it or not, is provided by the Distorted Prism modeling
agency, more than 70% of the staff is female. Female ‘prisoners’ in various
stages of undress are locked in racks, cages, iron maidens along the walls of
the serving area. Nearly nude and more slave girls serve the patrons. Muscle
bound male slaves are available on request. Otherwise masked torturers, dungeon
masters, and executioners prepare drinks, serve as bouncers, and perform the tasks
related to security.
Fay Goodwin of NOW say that the exploitative nature
of this so-called restaurant is symptomatic of the moral decay of the culture
and needs to be closed before it opens. NOW demands action and will not rest
until Racks is permanently closed. Even it’s name is offensive to women. Siena
Kravitz of CWA stands
in complete solidarity with her ‘sisters’ in NOW and give them their
unconditional support until Racks is a fading memory.
World News
Refugee Situation Makes Sparks
Between Latveria…Bulgaria
(New York, New York
City)
Tensions in the Middle East have reach alarming new heights. In a
extremely rare moment Gavril Botev, chief diplomat from Latveria, took the
podium condemning Hungary
for depositing Iraqi refugees on their border. For the time being the army of
Latveria has only been preventing the refugees entry to their nation but that
restraint is being pushed to the limit.
More than three thousand
refugees are already amassed at the border with more arriving every day. Botev
issued a very public warning to Ambassador Vodenicharov of Bulgaria. If
the Bulgarian government continues to deposit these people on the border of
Latveria then our army will resolve the matter.
Botev refused to explain what he meant and retired
from the council chamber.
For his part Ambassador Vodenicharov denies that his
government has anything to do with the growing number of refugees on the
Latverian border. He went on to say that Master Von Doom could accept tens,
maybe hundreds of thousand refugees in his sparsely populated country as an act
of humanity.
It is, however, unlikely that the monarch of
Latveria will change his fifty year closed borer policy any time soon.
The Daily Bugle
Newspaper
Wednesday June
20, 2018
National
News
Terrorists
Attempt to Poison America’s Meat Supply
(South
Dakota, Belle Fourche)
A covert team of government
agents descended on the city responding to an anonymous warning of a
terroristic threat. South Dakota
SAT was summoned to aid in the confiscation of several tons of contaminated
beef. The beef was infused with a slow acting poison that would cause painful
death in anyone that consumed it.
A splinter group of Advanced
Idea Mechanics (AIM) known as AID (Advanced Ideas in Destruction) is
responsible. The cell that poisoned the beef and was prepared to distribute it
has been neutralized.
Local News
Homeless
Population On The Decrease
(New York, New York
City)
Derrick Webb, crusading advocate of the
disadvantaged of the city, is concerned that he has fewer clients these days. Councilman
Hyatt thinks his concerns are well intended but misplaced. The councilman has
been spearheading several programs, many that center on providing healthcare
for the disadvantaged and helping them find permanent housing.
The dwindling number of homeless, which still
measures into the tens of thousands, are a testament to the success of these
outreach programs.
World News
Iraqi Refugees Attack Bulgarian Capital
(Bulgaria,Sofia)
Nearly a hundred rag-tag
glassy-eyed militiamen armed with advanced weaponry stormed the capital of Bulgaria in the
early morning light. The apparent target of the mob was the National Assembly
building. The mob was stopped by the National Defense Force but heavy
casualties were taken on both sides.
The survivors of the attacking
mob were questioned but claimed to have no memory of the attack. In fact they
all claimed to be Iraqi refugees living in the shelters at the foothills
outside of Latveria. The last thing they recalled was getting relief packages
from Latveria.
The Daily Bugle
Newspaper
Friday June
29, 2018
National
News
Narcotic Cloud
Stymied Freeway Responders
(Texas,
Dallas)
A massive 30 car pileup on
Interstate 35 just north of Dallas
reveals smuggled drug shipment. Several hundred pounds of marijuana burned when
the truck transporting it became ensnared in the wreckage. The billowing smoke
carried a narcotic cloud that covered several miles!
Police and rescue units
responding to the massive pileup were hampered by dealing with dozens of people
who were effectively baked. Those people who were injured in the accident were
thankful for the pain relief despite the complications it caused in treating
their injuries.
The driver of the truck vanished
in the confusion and the truck itself was stolen in Mexico a week ago.
Local News
Racks BBQ Wins Gourmet
Award
(New York, New York
City)
Despite its reputation for misogyny the quality of
the food has become nearly legendary. The owner of the restaurant, Lacey
Bradley, says she is unconcerned by the condemnation of the general public. Her
staff and her patrons are happy with the service she provides and that is
enough for her.
Getting the NYC Eater award was unexpected but
extremely cool. She is sharing the award with Virgilio Lowe, her recipe
mastermind and head chef. It will be displayed proudly between the Brazen Bull
(a bull shaped oven where lovely girls are (supposedly) cooked alive) and the
wheel rack where slaves (some male but mostly female) are ‘branded’ before they
serve their new masters (i.e. the dining public).
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World News
Russian Space Station Saved By Brooklyn
Brigade
(New York, New York
City)
They have been out of the public
eye for a few weeks but they are back, BETTER THAN EVER!
After rescuing a young woman from an attack by a
giant robot back in May the Neo-Defenders of New York disappeared from public sight. Many
wondered if the pronouncement by Dollar Bill (of the Minutemen), that the
Brigade might be a bigger threat than the robots they’ve been battling, had
caused them to hang up their capes. Nothing could be further than from the
truth!
The group, with the help of their new sponsor
Prometheus Medical Technologies, have been re-outfitted with newer cutting edge
equipment, gotten more intense training, and are working more closely with PART
Commander Lt. House.
Threats to the citizens of New York we are putting you on notice, The
Brigade is back on duty!
What was their first act being back? None other than
saving a dying space station what was threatening to poison the oceans off the
Eastern coast of the United
States. Not only did they ensure that the
station would harm no living animal of the Earth they put it in the orbit that
it was intended to occupy in the first place!
Roscosmos, the Russian space agency and owner of
OPSEK were potentially saved hundreds of millions of dollars that had been
invested in the station. Unfortunately the station was severely damaged by the
failed launch and the stresses of the near reentry into Earth’s atmosphere. It
would not be economically feasible to perform the repairs needed to allow it to
assume the operations that it was intended for. As far as we are concerned
OPSEK is so-much space debris. The Brooklyn Brigade is welcome to it.